FeverPitch

People Stared

2012-02-12T07:49:00.001Z

Thierry Henry is the only man on the planet I'd leave Mrs Pitch for! She fully accepts this and probably feels the same! He's left us once before. We all locked ourselves in our bedrooms and cried ourselves to sleep. This week we will do the same. The great man returned briefly to make us feel how only he can. He kissed the badge, he scored winning goals, he played with our emotions one last time. Yet before next weekend he will be off to do what he does for us for people who don't need him and certainly can't love him like we do. All we can hope is some of his magic has brushed off onto Park or Chamakh returns a different player as our game changing substitute disappears across the pond.

Having driven 200 miles north for a half term jaunt the majority of the first half passed me by. As I strolled the streets looking for shops to replace the things we'd forgotten to pack I looked at my little DAB radio and actually wondered if they had digital this far north! It turns out they do along with electricity and running water! The half time report told me we were comfortable without any threat which was worrying.

As I queued with a hand full of toothbrushes there was still no breakthrough. Liverpool had lost, the Chavs were down 2-0 so we needed to take advantage. News from the laughably named Stadium of Light was not welcome. They told me a horrendous error by Mertersacker led to Sunderland's opener. It was due to Martin O'Neill's magic apparently. Having seen the goal it was more due to the awful pitch than the bouncy Irishman. The only way Magic Martin can be responsible for that goal is if he's the one who looks after the rice they grow on the pitch between games. Per went over like a new born giraffe and had to be carried off by 20 men on two stretchers.*

Doom returned. Derogatory texts and tweets were swapped. Swear words restricted to 'Oh No' and 'Damn it' as I stood in a small quiet bookshop with my daughter. She had no idea that I wasn't really paying her attention. I kept her on my left side and was somehow able to say the right things as the radio pumped news into my right ear.

'Rambo! Yes!' is not the most normal thing to exclaim in the tourist information office. My daughter put on her 'I'm happy because dad's happy' face despite not really caring about why I'd cheered up. 1-1. Good result? Bit disappointed actually. We need wins.

As we began our walk home I suddenly stopped. The dangling earphone was pressed into the free 'daughter listening' ear as the nice lady from Radio 5 started her sentence. "You will not believe this" She said. WHAT WON'T I BELIEVE? I stood slightly crouched ready to either spring in celebration or slump to my knees. "Thierry ....." is all I heard. It's all I needed. The legs straightened. The feet left the floor. The red and white Saville Rogue scarf won from Arseblog was waved. The fist was pumped. The daughter was hugged and thrown playfully in the air. People stared!

He'd done it again.

*might not be totally true.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A 4-Track Stereo Recording

2012-02-07T18:29:00.007Z

I was having a bit of a sort out today and found this little gem wedged between Wham Rap and Kid Creole's Annie, I'm Not Your Daddy! It's The Arsenal Sing-a-Long 7" single. A souvenir production! It contained 4 tracks from a much simpler time. Never did it think it would end up as an MP3 or on Soundcloud. It's from a time when the team were truly awful - 1984! Enjoy and remember to Sing-a-Long, join the Junior Gunners, sign up for the travel club to 'Sing Along with the Arsenal away from home and apply for a price list from the Gunners Shop! Up The Gunners!

It also came with a free lyric sheet so you could really Sing-a-Long. I, as a Junior Gunner, helpfully wrote down how long each song lasted!

Sticking To The Script

2012-02-06T14:43:00.000Z

Now that's a proper afternoon out. Despite the bitter cold and the rushing about due to various children needing to be at swimming lessons and parties 10 miles away that was a thoroughly entertaining show.

For so long now we have failed to do to teams what we should. We've played countless poor sides over the last few seasons and stumbled into wins, fought out frustrating draws or worse. One such trip up was at Bolton, a game I've ignored. I chose not to spend ages finding a stream and watched the TV while following on Twitter. I've not seen Walcott's one-on-one miss or RVP's affairs with the woodwork. Unlucky? Twitter told me otherwise. We were shit. Top 4 a dream. Wafer cup a thing of the past. Wenger out. RVP will leave. It's over. Bin bag protest. Take to the streets… Twitter is a strange beast. I was not looking forward to Saturday.

Yet a few days later it's all back on! Blackburn arrived right on time. We shuffled into the ground with our newly washed season tickets. Mrs Pitch had left them in her pocket and given them a quick 30°. The box office helpfully told her they had no idea if they would work. They did! The crap was washed away, the turnstile clicked and the newly laundered team were a goal up before many were there.

The atmosphere lightened. No sign of any bin bags. A good start all round. We were all over them. Attack after attack opened them up yet we stuck at one. We looked hungrier than we had for ages but the failings up front were showing. Talk of the missed opportunity to strengthen started. Then it happened. 1-1. It was a stunning freekick. Nobody was to blame as our collective shoulders slumped. I tweeted that we were unlucky to be 1-1 as we were all over them. Twitter suggested we were shit. And that's the problem. We were playing well. The scoreline was shit but to be conditioned to criticise the team just on the score is worrying. Yet, I guess the score is everything. 0-0 at Bolton is no good however you play. We've dropped too many points to be unlucky. That luxury is gone.

However, as we sighed, the team stayed perky. Less than 5 minutes later the first goal was replicated and we were back on our feet. Where was the famous collapse? I was ready for the huffing and puffing. Yet before I could finish my beef baguette The Ox had skipped round fatty spudboy to give us an unfamiliar half time score. We were shit no more! As half time approached Givet decided he'd had enough and introduced our captain to his studs before apologising to Arsene as he took the shameful walk away. Steve Keene, to his credit, apologised to RVP too. A welcome sight.

Half time was surprisingly upbeat. More people than usual due to the freeze jumped around to House of Pain as we anticipated goals. It was like the half times of old.

The second half was more of the same. RVP completed his hatrick, Arteta scored again against Blackburn while The OC did what we wished Theo would do more often. The day was rounded off when T scored after a game of 'after you' with Robin. 7-1 and richly deserved. They were worth 1 and we were worth at least 7. This is what should happen and it, for once, did.

I know we thrashed a team who will probably go down who were missing their better players and spent nearly an hour a man short but you can only beat what's in front of you and so often we've struggled to do that. Everyone put in a decent performance. We looked good. No more, no less and as we are in a right old battle to keep our top 4 'success' going looking good will do me for now.

- Posted using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

Now Where Are The Trophy Cabinet Keys? Once Again It's On!

2012-01-30T17:08:00.001Z

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why we love this thing called football. January finished on a high as we finally managed to put in a shift of 45 minutes. Look what happens when urgency and desire take over.

To be fair the half time score didn't really reflect our play. It was all too easy for the boo boys to vocalise their displeasure as we stared down the barrel again. 5 minutes before the first Villa goal I swapped texts with the man from Eastlower and we both categorically confirmed to each other that this game had 0-0 written all over it. We were blunt in attack while Villa were crap. Yes! We can read a game and will be presenting ITV's coverage of the next round. "Well Eastlower, if nobody scores it will be a draw." "Indeed it will Feverpitch and I can see a replay happening too." ESPN wanted us but we are a little too highbrow.

Moments after plumping for a draw Richard Dunne (talking of plump) rose like an overweight whale to head home after we had defended a corner like Arsenal. Nobody wanted it apart from Dunne and that was symptomatic of our first half and indeed most of January (and beyond...) We continued to look busy but achieved nothing. It was during one of these pointless excursions into the Villa box that we conceded again. They broke like we used to. Bent surged into the box, played a one two off Flappyhandski's flappy hand and slotted home from the acutist of angles. That was a well taken goal by any standards. I maybe being a bit harsh on Flappy. It was a decent first save but he really needs to put it out of danger or it will come straight back at you. It did. 0-2. Poor old Flaps. He doesn't really install much confidence does he? At one point @lovelymrs tweeted "Flappyhandski is a bit Flappyfootski too today!" Balls in the air or on the floor are a challenge. Sharp intakes of breath when the ball's in our area. Sighs of relief when he holds it. Our confidence in our number two is lower than Jordan's husband's taste in women.

The highlight of the first half for us was Arsene taking 3 minutes to do his zip up. He was struggling yet not one chant of "you don't know what you're doing!" He's zipped up 50,000 things in the past and this one would not beat him. He later failed to explain his actions and why should he?

Half time arrived and it was doom with an added dollop of gloom as we contemplated another season of no shiny things. The boos suggested Arsene was to blame. Well if he was then he must be applauded for what went on at half time. Whatever he did proves to me he is still very much the man. The team were about as useful as an ink pen on 'arry's desk in the first half. The manager and the senior players stepped up and the youngsters responded too.

Suddenly we had captains everywhere. The pitch was soaked in desire and a somewhat complacent Villa, who probably thought they had nearly done enough, couldn't live with us. Two definite penalties and a lucky Theo goal later and we were incredibly winning. Special mentions must go to Ramsey & Kos for their surging runs into the box. Theo may have been lucky but his dribble to the goal was magnificent. He assisted himself for that goal. Lastly, RVP, who drew level with the Lord Dennis on 120 goals for the club, took two superb penalties.

It was one of those lovely Arsenal afternoons that left you with a warm hopeful glow. Thierry prowling the touch line pointing and barking out instructions like a future manager might (you never know!) added to the fun. We needed that win like 'arry needs a big file in his next birthday cake. At half time it seemed like this awful run would never end. It seemed like we really were crap. One decent half in a month doesn't make the problems go away but my goodness it gives us something to build on. We had desire. We had fight. We even had some luck and with the medical room slowly emptying we can look forward with less fear.

On Sunday we saw the worst and the best of our club in the space of 90 minutes. The good finally defeated the crap.

Onwards to Bolton. Up the Gunners.

Still an Arsenist.

2012-01-23T09:13:00.001Z

So here we are with one game left in January and our only match winner of 2012 being Thierry Henry against lower league opposition. For the third time this year we were beaten by a better team. No complaints about who won. Plenty of concern about who lost.

The most positive result from the round table score prediction in the pub before the game was 1-1. The other seven of us went for defeat so it wasn't unexpected. Fulham was a punch in the stomach. Swansea was the killer upper cut. Our glass jaw exposed. Expectations floored. Had we been playing Wigan the predictions would've been similar. Team news filtered through just as the spuds conceded a late penalty. The Ox unleashed. Our spirits and eyebrows were slightly raised. In at the deep end and why not?

The first half was forgettable rubbish. Man u spent 10 minutes playing with us, attacking in waves & finally breaking us down just before the break. There was an eerie silence from our end. Conceded goals are normally greeted with groans and swearing. Not this one. It was so expected it was almost a relief. To go in only 1 down was a miracle. Man u attack in waves. Toying with us until they spot the weakness or Djourou. They are like predators waiting for the kill. They attack with 10 men. We countered with 4. Mission impossible.

The loss of all our full backs is killing us. We looked like the away team on our own pitch. We also lacked any fight, heart or desire. This was personified by poor Djourou. He was targeted as the weak link mainly due to his ability and the fact he had no help and often faced 3 mancs on his own. I felt a bit sorry for him being so openly exposed however there was a moment which summed up why he really should be nowhere near the first team even with an injury crisis. The ball was lumped forward and it was a straight chase between the Swiss and Nani. One of them sprinted and got to the ball. One of them jogged casually in the general direction of play as if he was in the park with his kids. Not good enough. At least look like you care! At half time Djourou was subbed for a child who was so much better. If that doesn't make him have a good look at himself I don't know what will. Maybe he'll get round to it when he can be bothered.

We were vastly improved in the second half, well for about 20 minutes of it anyway. We created more, fought more. We looked bothered. The equaliser came and briefly we actually believed we could win so much so that the Mancs had to invent an injury to break up our momentum. It worked. We lost the impetus and Man u attacked us again in waves. And then it happened. The Ox, who had impressed and must be a worry for Theo, looked to see his number was up. The loudest noise you hear at the Ems these days are the boos and boy did they ring out. The crowd were disagreeing with the manager. We wanted to win and this particular teenager was going to deliver it. The captain visually booed too. It was a strange one but we really don't know the manager's thinking. Maybe he had good reason. Maybe he was wrong. However, chants of 'you don't know what you're doing' are extraordinary.

The boos at the decision turned to a standing ovation for the young man. He had shown why Arsene paid so much for him - a good long term decision, but let's not consider that, lets just boo the manager at subbing him. The applause then turned to boos again as Arshavin ran on. Incredible way to welcome a player low on confidence that we need to perform. How does that reaction bring the best out of a player? I understand we all pay too much to watch The Arsenal. I understand the frustrations but surely the bare minimum is we get behind the manager & team while the games are actually going on. To boo the manager & players is as stupid as sending abuse to players on twitter. What are these people trying to achieve. Whatever happened to 'We are the Arsenal?'

By all means get on t'internet and have your say. I understand some people who want Wenger to go it's just I don't agree. He has done so much for our club he deserves more respect than he is getting from sections of the crowd. I suggested on twitter last night that these people never offer an alternative. I was bombarded with suggestions, most Guardiola! Excellent! He can bring Messi and Fabregas with him. Everything's going to be OK. Sack the man who has installed these high expectations into you and give the job to the Barcelona manager who I'm sure has always wanted the Arsenal job. What if Pep prefers the Spanish weather? Neil Warnock?

Sack the manager who oversaw our move to a massive new stadium and yet kept us in the top 4? Sack the manager who built the invincibles? Maybe these people are right. Maybe Arsene has lost his way. Maybe things have gone stale. The spirit seems low. The passing, breath taking football has gone. We seem to stumble into wins instead of beating them. The squad's quality is as poor as ever. Things have got to change but changing the manager is the last resort. We need to buy some more quality. It's clear to see yet the manager refuses. He is far too experienced to neglect the obvious need that I really believe the money isn't there. The wages we are wasting on average squad players is draining and this needs addressing. There are 3 utterly crap goalkeepers we could dump for a start. I'd also look at the backroom staff. There are enough people like Adams, Keown or Winterburn knocking about who could do a job in installing discipline and a winning mentality. I'm still very much an Arsenist & will be until things get much worse and the board can convince me they are able to find a competent replacement as I wouldn't trust them to pick me a sandwich at the moment. There is so much we can do before the best manager this club has ever had is sacked starting with backing him and the players we have in the stadium at the very least.

- written in bits throughout the morning in various North London locations and posted using magic.

THe Scream

2012-01-15T22:51:00.004Z

I just don't have the energy to say the things we've all said over and over again about this squad. Man U next. I can hardly wait!

Up The Gunners

What shall we talk about?

2012-01-10T11:12:00.003Z

I've started this blog four times now trying desperately hard to find an angle without launching headlong into "HENRRRYY" but I can't. Last night was about one thing and one thing only - The return of one of, if not THE, greatest Arsenal player of all time. When he left us we worried we would never see his like again. Well we did and it could only be the man himself.

The opening 60 odd minutes were the usual all over a team without a meaningful shot as RVP wasn't there. The first half petered out at 0-0 and half time talk was of THE MAN. We predicted only 25 minutes more of this huffing & puffing until Mr W let T save the day. The noise created just by TH12 warming up could be confused by those navigating the damp toilet floors as a goal. Indeed we could've scored while the subs warmed up and nobody would've noticed. We only had eyes for an old love.

The moment arrived. Henry and Walcott waited, man and boy. And it happened. Men, women and children stood and applauded. Goosebumps and a little bit giddy. The only acceptable other love you can have while standing next to your wife as she was having it too!

He ran around. He was offside. He was commanding. He was enormous. He was back. Then it happened. Ten minutes and he found that position. Song's sublime ball was controlled only once before the inside of the foot caressed the ball across the keeper into the far corner. HENRY! 1-0! Thank you and goodnight.

Football is many things. It's the world's greatest soap opera. It's cruel. It's magnificent but rarely is it as perfect as last night. Mr TH loves it when a plan comes together. The only downside of last night was how Thierry's quality just highlighted how average RVP's help are. There was no one in the stadium that could score for us apart from TH. His winner might have been written in the stars but the reality is, at 34 and winding down his career in America, he is still better, RVP aside, than any other 'striker' at the club. The Leeds fans chanted, "You're so shit you need Henry" and I thought fair enough (The child next to me responded with, "He's 34 and you let him score!" That's my boy!) We'd seen what the others could muster and it wasn't great. Henry popped on to show them how it's done. My goodness we need some more quality for when TH goes away again. But as Mrs Feverpitch keeps reminding me, enjoy the moment, stop the moaning about the inadequacies of the others. Thierry will be gone before we know it. We must cherish him while we can.

So I'll try! In the name of Henry I'll try. Watching that goal over and over again will be a start. Watching him celebrate. Seeing his reaction at the final whistle. Images uniting us all reminding us why we love this magnificent old club. Arsenal do things the right way. That wasn't just right it was utterly perfect. - Posted using BlogPress from a very happy iTelephone.

Speechless!

2012-01-02T20:15:00.003Z

It's probably best we never speak of today again.

Here is a picture of a kitten in a hat to cheer you up.

The Promised Land

2011-12-31T17:29:00.003Z

Due to an illustrious schoolboy athletics career which led to a couple of medals, some silver pots and a damaged spine I'm stuck in the Charlie George position while the family are clapping Tony's return and the boys against QPR. I made the mistake of performing that difficult move of 'getting out of a car' and my back said "NO" quite loudly.

So I'm relying on Twitter, Arsenal player and Soccer Saturday to furnish me with information. It's a very odd feeling being so close to the ground while joining the thousands across the globe online. I feel a bit lost. I've no idea how we are doing. I've no idea who's playing well and who isn't. Jay Bothroyd has just nearly scored. We sound a bit lethargic. Shaun Wright Phillips sounds like he should've scored. Come on Arsenal. 12 minutes gone and this is aural torture.

I got to half time relieved I was stuck in bed. I left the Wolves game furious and frustrated so another draw with a team in the bottom third at home would relight those emotions. Too familiar too. The second half has brought me news of TV limping off and Walcott failing with a 1-on-1 with the keeper. Arsenal player sound frustrated. Twitter is a land of gloom. We really need to wake up or get used to UEFA cup football next season. QPR are now improving and I can hear the crowd groans.

But wait! RVP TO THE RESCUE! That's improved the back ache and sweetened the tea. Yet we are still worried. 1-0 to The Arsenal is never enough nowadays. Arsenal player commentator is getting over excited about being back in the top 4. Premature qualification and counting unborn chicks. Shut up mate.

6 minutes to go and I'm sitting with thousands of Gooners on the knife edge again. Spuds are 1-1. Chavs are 3-1 down. Man u lost. We need to take advantage. Gervinho misses a chance. QPR attack. This is hard work.

The iPhone peeps. Full time and we've won with a Tony Adams tribute 1-0. The Arsenal player is still going. Finally they catch up. We've won 1-0 on there too and worldwide Gooners are happy. Twitter informs me Arsenal have won their first game of 2012 (in Australia!) A good start to the new year despite us having to wait for the Fulham struggle in the UK.

I look back on 2011 as a poor year for The Arsenal & I say that as most of our memories are bad ones. We've lost Cesc and (whatever you think of him) Nasri. Cesc was a massive loss. Nasri going not so much but it sent out a message that we can't hold off Man c. The Milk Cup final was the pinnacle of shitness. The performance, the cock-ups, the in fighting among Gooners over the management and certain players. Football is a passionate game but I witnessed Arsenal fans fighting over Arsene's suitability and a punch up after someone abused Bentner. All during a cup final when we needed to be together. It was a horrible result, day and experience. This carried on right up to losing to Villa on the last home game. The atmosphere that day was poison. The misery of the summer and the rushing and panic on transfer deadline day wasn't very Arsenal and led to the worst start for decades. All was not well. Yet, tonight we finally sit in the promised land. Results went our way today and you have to doff your caps to how we have hauled ourselves back to the top 4. After the start we had it looked gloomy but the goals of our clever clogs captain and the back 4 losing their comedic timing means we seem to be turning a very large corner. There is still a lot of work to do and that means spending in January. Let's be honest, we have one striker worthy of the name. The others are either average or useless. And Henry is not the answer. I'm as excited as the next man and woman but if he's our only 'new' striker we are in trouble. We are scraping past QPR while dropping points at home to the likes of Fulham & Wolves. Arsene needs to pull something out of his magic hat. He's done it before. He'll do it again. He has to.

So trophyless 2011 please sod off. We'll keep the 2-1 vs Barcelona and the 5-3 vs the Chavs but to be honest you can take the rest with you. My new year wish would be to see signs of that beautiful team we once knew. The team that everyone wanted to watch. Add to that some help up front, cut out the bloody injuries and sprinkle some ruthlessness about the side and it could be a very happy new year indeed.

Happy new year Gooners wherever you may be. Up the Gunners.

Humbug

2011-12-28T16:56:00.003Z

As we left the living room looking like a tornado had ripped through Hamleys and strolled towards New Highbury a day late due to the tube workers extra day off we were full of great expectation. Results around us had been festive and we could make 4th our own. The recovery from a disastrous start would be nearing completion. Get top 4 and push on. The bare minimum for a club like The Arsenal.

Things started well. We were busy. Full of possession which soon led to a swift move and Gervinho one on one with the Wolves keeper. He spun, looked like he may have fluffed it before facing the right way and finding the net. He needed that goal. His bottle seemed to have left him of late but he took that well and proved a lot to himself. The first half continued with lots of the ball at our boots without any real chances. We were missing the pace of Theo who'd overdone it on the Quality Street. Wolves were being opened up out wide. Theo would've ripped them. The Ox was on the bench. Only a matter of time? As the half went on we started to pass the ball backwards more and more. "Szczesny's unmarked" came one call. "Get it fucking forward" was another!

Then it happened. An unnecessary corner was softly dealt with. The shot wasn't closed down and an opportunist header was just out of Szczesny's reach. Unlucky? Maybe. Shambolic? Probably.

The second half was all one way. In that respect we did nothing wrong. We dominated. We had chances. Hennessy joined the enormous list of keepers who have their best game ever. They went down to 10. We did the same by bringing on Chamakh. The Ox was saved for another day. I maybe putting my faith in a untested child but I just felt he could worry Wolves. Chamakh wouldn't worry sheep. Yet we may not be having this conversation if a professional footballer could kick a ball straight. Following a kurfuffle on the right the ball fell to Rosicky. He was in the D on the edge of the box. The goal gaped. Hennessy was out of position. Rosicky made contact and cleverly bent the ball a good few yards wide of the left hand post. Maybe he thought the ref, Attwell, who has awarded goals for balls going yards wide before, would allow it. Sadly not. Little Mozart finished that like a great big Jedward.

And the ref! I've refereed games before and I appreciate how hard it can be (and 9 year olds cry if you send them off) but surely a man who has been fast tracked has to have some control of the game. He made odd decisions left, right and centre. Give him his due he is consistently shite week in week out. Check out his wiki page for his growing list of cock ups. My favourite yesterday was a little one. We had a free kick just outside their box. Arteta and RVP lined up to take it. Attwell, in his wisdom, stood in front of our captain and gestured to Arteta to get on with it. RVP had to manhandle the ref out of the way before he could run at it himself. The ref, in a premiership game, was in the way at a free kick. Magnificent!

Let the boos ring out this Christmas! Not for the first time this season the team left to the bass tones of frustrated punters. I didn't boo but I left furious. The awful opening to our season means that every point we drop is magnified (and the spuds doing so well makes it even worse.) We had an opportunity yesterday and we blew it. You can blame it on the referee, you can blame it on Hennessy, you can blame it on Rosicky, you can blame it on the boogie if you like but the bottom line is we got the ball in the net once. That's as many times as 16th placed relegation threatened Wolves and if we have ambition it's just not good enough. We've obviously done incredibly well to haul ourselves up to 5th which makes these results so frustrating. We have no room for "Just one of those days" anymore. That luxury went months ago.

That Will Do Nicely

2011-12-23T17:14:00.011Z

That will do nicely. Following the defeat at the money pit nothing short of a win at Villa would do and the boys delivered. It's difficult to express any defined opinions as this game was followed entirely on Twitter. Apparently we were crap, Frimpong was crap as was Coq-au-vin. The defence was crap, the midfield were very crap as was the ref who was not only crap but fat. Then Yossi bent down to head home a last minute winner and the C word turned into celebration. A frustrating evening with the potential of chucking 2 points away suddenly transformed into a delightful nights work and a hard fought 3. Splendid.

Yet it seems more than that. The perfect response to a defeat. The type of game we would have lost only a few months ago. The teams around us dropping points. We may well look back on Villa away as a massive night. However, Arsene, results like this don't mean we can avoid a trip to the transfer market for the January sales. We desperately need a striker to keep RVP happy or to just keep RVP. No more cut price bargains. A proper full on world class top of the range shiny exciting quality player is needed. Not much to ask!

Earlier in the week my son and I went to the Home of Football to do the self guided stadium tour. If you get a chance I highly recommend it. They give you a little red gadget with Bob Wilson inside it telling you everything you need to know. The beauty of the self guided tour is you can take as much time as you like. We sat for ages in the director's lounge, the chairman's seats, Arsene' seat on the bench. We ran down the tunnel (twice). We interviewed each other in the interview cupboards. I spent ages in the home dressing room dreaming of what could've been had I possessed any footballing ability whatsoever! We spent too much (again) in the club shop (but who doesn't want a Jack Wilshere action figure?) If you live too far away to do the tour there are a load of pictures of the stadium and museum on my twitter thing. Www.twitter.com/feverpitch

So we head towards the big day some way off the Christmas number 1 as that's been bought elsewhere. We are sitting nicely ready to strike. I still fancy us to get top 4. I still think we will finish above the Spuds and with the right business next month we will get 3rd. After our start that would be magnificent.

Merry Red and White Christmas Gooners.

Sheikh Up

2011-12-19T10:51:00.007Z

So the mercenary millionaires prevailed. We fought hard but how can our brave volunteers on minimum wages compete with the nouveau riche? The nasty historyless oiks dispatched our charity cases good and proper. We stood no chance. The media willed them on. The ref played a 'blind'er. The lovely ones from the north put the cheeky southerners in their place. The title has been bought and paid for. Congratulations on your most hollow of victories. It's been a long time coming.

Bitter? Oh yes! And why not? A half arsed mid table club will win the league this season by ramming wads of banknotes into it's thong in the hope it will be allowed a little touch. This may sound like thin ice from an Arsenal fan but we've never been so vulgar. Granted, much to our frustration sometimes, Arsene refuses to splash the cash. He moulds cheapish players into world beaters for the likes of Barca and Man C to then pay well over or well under the odds for. That's where we are now.

Anyway, putting my disgust of Man C aside for a moment, that was some game. Before the match I fancied us. It says a lot about the side after that start to the season that I gave us I chance. I really did think we could beat them and on another day we would. 1-0 was an extraordinary score for a game with so many chances. If we hadn't decided to cannon the ball as hard as we could at Hart every time we had a chance then we may have got something. They only just beat us with a squillion pounds on the pitch and there was no shame in our performance.

Apart from their spending the most obvious difference was how many options they had every time they attacked. It was quite uncomfortable to watch and I thought our 4 central defenders did well to stop them. We, on the other hand, have 1 option. Every attack heads to RVP. It's easy to stop and, my goodness, do we need to spend and spend well in January. The sorry fact is we only have two quality strikers at the club and one of those is a centre half! Walcott is greatly improved but isn't taking any goal scoring responsibility from the captain. Gervinho was (harshly?) described to me as the bloke in the office that looks busy but actually does nothing. I'm not sure that's true but he certainly has no confidence to shoot. As for Chamakh? We he came on I tweeted that if he scored I would run around The Angel Islington naked but for a Tottenham Santa hat. Unsurprisingly the pants stayed on and a million people sighed with relief. At least I gave a silver lining to our nil.

So Man C are better than us after their Sheikh up. They should be with their collection of overpaid stars many of whom didn't even know Manchester had two clubs a few years ago. Yet we have pushed them to the limit twice recently and we go about our business in the right way. On to Villa and a nice pre-Christmas 3 points if you don't mind.

It's Who We Are. We Are The Arsenal

2011-12-11T13:26:00.012Z

The Arsenal. 125 years and it's been my honour and privilege to share 32 of mine with you. I flirted with them during the 1978 cup final but it was the cup run of 1979 that reeled me in. As the ball rolled across the line from Sunderland's boot there was no turning back. That team in yellow and blue were the only one for me.

Imagine my surprise when, on my birthday, I opened a red and white top, shorts & socks. They didn't wear these on the telly. However I was soon Brady floating a ball off the shed (Sunderland) and blasting the ball into a home made goal while screaming "STAPLETON!" We went unbeaten in the back garden that season.

It's something non believers don't understand, can't understand. The Arsenal. It gets right into you. It's special. It becomes part of your very fabric. Monday at school you needed to be ready to gloat or defend. Good training for working life. A poor weekend makes the start of the week a challenge. You know you are going to get it and you need to be ready. Conversely if the rivals fail, as they often do, you rehearse your banter. It needs to be spot on. Your mates expect no less.

It shapes who you are. It represents you. It's the pictures cut from Shoot on a schoolboy's bedroom wall. It's sending off for merchandise from the little club shop under the Clock End. It's queuing up Gillespie Road for hours for cup final tickets. It's peanuts 20 pence a bag. It's having your breath taken away on your first visit to the stadium. It's hiding in a burger bar in Finsbury Park with your girlfriend as Man U fans rampage. It's Wembley. It's driving to Paris with the best of friends. It's being allowed to drive to Paris by an understanding wife left holding a week old baby. It's meeting Thierry Henry in the street. It's a stone with our names on it outside the new ground. It's missing the old Highbury.

It's friendships. It's talking to strangers on the strength of a cannon on my coat. It's Feverpitch. It's crying when it was up for grabs now. It's passion. It's hate. It's support. It's moaning. It's thinking we could do better. It's realising we can't. It's worship. It's frustrating. It's relief. It's wonderful. It's sitting with my wife and son. It's the hug when we score. It's everything. It's what we do. It's wondering what people who don't follow football do. It's stressing about new signings. It's putting the fixtures in your diary. It's avoiding stuff to keep those dates free. It's grief at losing a number 7, one of us, one of our own. It's chatting on Twitter. It's chasing a stream. It's the Arsecast. It's The Tuesday Club. It's Eastlower. It's the blogs, the Gooner. It's just who we are.

It's winning 1-0 with a magnificent goal. What a way to win a game in front of so many legends. We weren't at our best but the enormous build up probably didn't help. Having said that we were by far the best team and on another day would have won by half time. Each attack ended with frustration and we needed a bit of brilliance to unlock Everton. Song turned the key with a sublime ball to RVP who opened the door by volleying it across the goal and in at the far post. 125 years of fans and players haven't seen many better!

It's the debates, the arguments. It's picking your favourite player ever. It's picking your favourite goal, your most important goal. Your favourite celebration. Your best win. It's why we support, encourage, applaud, moan, criticise and boo. It's something non believers won't understand. Long after we are gone memories will fade. Memories will alter but one thing they will never forget. We will always be The Arsenal.

And now on Sky Comedy....

2011-12-07T22:22:00.006Z

Last night was extraordinary. A comical performance at the back that had me laughing on top of laughs and feeling quite ill. Mannone's error was the funniest bit of keeping I've ever seen. It sparked a debate on Twitter with people sending me other candidates for the crap keeping award but I won't have it. Vito's big chance to use his new gloves and he went all Hong Kong Phooey on us. No matter as we've qualified. It just confirms what we already know. We have one goalkeeper at the club and 3 other blokes who own gloves. God bless Szczesny. No really God, bless him and bless him good.

Just seen the scores tonight and it looks as if Channel 5 are the winners. A flood of so called giants are coming their way to play out the EuroMilk Cup leaving us clubs in crisis to run about in the Champions League with the truly big fish.

We lost but were served up with some top draw slapstick while the whole of Manchester slipped into the underworld. I'll take that.

Warning! Bit too kind about Spuds!

2011-12-04T20:09:00.003Z

A narrow loss and an easy win since the last blog. I'm glad it was that way round too. The Milk Cup is a useful run out for the extras and the young but I still feel bitter how it wrecked our season last year and cost me far too much in final tickets.

For a change I felt quite positive after that defeat. Chavscum (north) cheated by fielding a stronger team than us but nothing surprises me from that bunch. History less new money tarts. Anyway, their team cost exactly 46.3 times more than ours (haven't checked that maths) and they squeezed past us. Hope they make it to Wembley & all their fans get ripped off! Our individual players performances have been discussed elsewhere so I won't waste your time apart from saying we have some exciting, young, inexpensive, homegrown talent. Even Squillaci looked like a footballer. A proud defeat if ever there was one.

Saturday was more old school in its coverage. We weren't on the telly or the radio so for the first time in ages it was Soccer Saturday nervously awaiting Phil Thompson's grunts. We started slowly but surely we can't drop points at Wigan again. Yet before we knew it Thompson nearly exploded as we nabbed 2 in 2 minutes. 2-0 up at Wigan. Nothing can go wrong now can it? Flashbacks to the previous 2 years where we led 2-0 but didn't win either drenched my mind. But that was Arsenal of the past. This team look delighted to play, delighted to win, delighted to score. They look together. The joy Theo showed at setting up RVP was a moment to treasure as was Robin's appreciation at Walcott's unselfish cut back.

This all followed our 3rd scored by Gervinho. Superb work by Captain Clever Clogs led to a man in a Wigan goalkeepers top pushing the ball to Ricky who knocked it home. He needed that. I was convinced he couldn't finish a biscuit but that should give him his appetite back. We need him to finish his chances. Hopefully he will from now on.

We are on an amazing run of form but seem to only be making a gentle dent in the top teams. That's what made the Fulham draw so frustrating. We need the teams above us to start dropping silly points. I've given up on Man C. They've clearly bought the title but we can chase the others. Man U don't look uncatchable and the Spuds run can't last can it? They do (whisper it) look as good as I've ever known them but I've only ever known them as shite. They do seem to be getting a lot of luck too. Yesterday's sending off of Cahill was a brown envelope red! No ref can be that hopeless can they? As useful as a Greek tax accountant in Europe they really are concentrating on the league but we will finish above them. Honest.

So onwards to a stress free trip abroad for the boys not in the red. All the excitement will be elsewhere but we will be watching the reserves behind the red button in midweek. Hopefully no tired excuses will be necessary against Everton. Today brought us a kind FA Cup draw with Leeds at home so an order for the replacement urinals has already been made online.

We've broken the November curse. Here's to a cracking December. Come on you Reds.

The 'C' Word

2011-11-26T23:10:00.009Z

Complacency? Maybe. Tiredness? Possible. I don't know why the confidence of an amazing Champions League group win can't be carried over to the following league game. This is our bread and butter. This is where it matters. This is how a team is judged and today we threw 2 points away.

I care little for the Champions League. It's a horrible money making exercise that wants to take over but I enjoy us doing well in it especially when the other English teams are puffing. And there is the rub. We compare ourselves to the other teams in our league. We laughed at Man City losing in midweek yet we are miles behind them in the proper league. The domestic league is the measure and today we fell short. With plenty of disrespect to Fulham, if we are to be successful, snatching a 1-1 draw with them isn't good enough.

The disaster of the summer and subsequent mess that followed means we no longer have the luxury of 1-1 draws with teams on 11 points just outside the relegation zone at home. Every point is sacred if we are to make the promised land of the top 4. The worry is the clump of teams flirting around those places. A simple slip can be costly. I expected us to continue our great run today. I was positive. I think Wednesday's result had won me back. I felt we had found our feet and had turned that corner. Today was too reminiscent of last season when we were routinely beaten by complacency (the worst of all the 'C' the words) and the start of this season where we just looked a bit shit.

It was very slightly against the run of play when Fulham scored. Our most consistent signing Utter Shambles blundered in to the defence forcing TV to clear the ball into a handy net waiting to stop the ball rolling too far away. The crowd groaned. We had hoped this kind of thing had moved on. Down with this kind of thing. Yet it was this that woke the team. The half time Red Bull and Wagon Wheel hadn't worked. A piss poor bit of defending had.

We attacked! The crowd finally responded disturbing many who'd dropped off. Still a goal looked unlikely, less so with the introduction of Chamakh. Finally TV thought he'd better make amends and shot forward to equalise. We cheered with relief. Yes! Relief at drawing level with 8 minutes left with a team on 11 points just outside the relegation zone. . . . . . . . . AT HOME!

As we left people sighed and shrugged their shoulders. We all thought we'd turned the corner. Maybe we have. We all thought this kind of performance and result was in the past. Maybe it is and this was a blip. Maybe we needed to freshen up the team after Wednesday but the options to do that are limited. Maybe the subs needed to come on sooner. Maybe if we want to be back where we belong we need to be beating a team on 11 points......... at home. Today just wasn't good enough.

Group F You

2011-11-24T22:07:00.008Z

Only English team to win this week. Only English team to qualify so far. Group winners. I thank you. For a team whose manager has lost it and all the players are shit it's all going quite nicely.

Last night's 2-1 win over Dortmund was huge. Not the best game but it proved to many of us that this team has found some backbone. They can win when not playing brilliantly. They can win when they need to. The stress of needing a result in the final game (like the other 3 English teams) has gone. This was a very tough group. The weakest team were the German champions! To win it with a game to spare is magnificent and just what the doctor ordered.

Dortmund started brightly without really flustering us. We did very little to worry them. The only real action to note was Theo shooting many seconds after the whistle for offside and not getting booked. RVP must've wondered why. (still annoyed about that!) The tactic of removing their better players by breaking their jaws or letting them injure themselves is a new and improved version of our players being carried off and it helped no end.

A hot sugary tea and a Kit Kat finger was needed at half time and we were more lively. Song, wearing medium shorts when he is clearly an extra large, went all wingery on us, beat a lot of defenders and planted the perfect cross on RVP's head for 1-0. Song really did roll his sleeves up (and oddly one short leg) and put in a superb shift. He was my man of the match and I've been wearing too tight boxer shorts all day in tribute. He seemed to be everywhere. Defending, attacking, setting up goals and getting my man of the match award.

The second was a corner by Marwood flicked on by Bould...... 2-0 and we were there. The other game was going our way and as soon as it became clear we could win the group we collapsed at the back and let in the customary goal. We have less clean sheets than John Terry and a mate's wife* but that's not a concern today.

Things may not be perfect but we are getting there. We are level with Liverpool and Chelsea. We've closed in on World Cup Winners Tottenham and before you know it we will be above them. It's the natural order of things. It will happen. It's just a shame the summer was an utter cock up. Imagine where we'd be now if we'd hit the ground running instead of tripping and falling into a load of shite. It took too long to wash that shite out of our lovely new tops but slowly the smell is going.

A good night to be an Arsenal fan. Up The Gunners

*Similar image used before in the days of Almunia. Sorry

Cutting The Mustard

2011-11-21T12:25:00.001Z

Saturday morning used to be such a simple affair. Up late, stroll to town, bacon roll, record shopping (vinyl of course.) Meet dad, claim I hadn't eaten and accept his kind offer of a bacon sandwich. Lunch. Off to the game. No more. Children now need to be in a variety of places at various times. No more record shopping. No more record shops. Sky now dictate our lives rather than the latest Cold Chillin' or Def Jam 12". 3pm on a Saturday is a rare treat. A proper slice of wax more so.

12.45 isn't a real kick off time. It's a financial fiction dreamed up to complicate matters. I'll be at the Arsenal soccer(!) school waiting for my son to finish the latest coaching session. Sky+ it? Watch it delayed? Catch up at half time? It never works. Hold on I've watched football on a ferry on my phone. A park in north London should be able to deliver such a service. First bit on sky go. Next bit on radio 5 on drive home. Final bit on big telly. A plan.

My son gets to the car at 0-0, grabs the phone & rightly points out I can't watch it while I'm driving but he can. I'd already seen the 2mm high Gunners miss chance after chance including an extraordinary,off the line, lucky clearance from an unlucky Theo shot. There will be a goal soon I assured the hot & thirsty son.

"STOP THE CAR DAD. OH YOU NEED TO SEE THIS!" I pulled into a resident's bay. The 3mm Mertesacker looked in control in the replay. What could possibly go wrong? OH NO!! Our brick shit house looked less brick and too much shit as he was brushed aside for a worm's eye view of Norwich's opener as it sped past our glamour model professional in goal. It was poor. Very poor from a man of such experience. Had Squillaci done that the groan would've woken the Norfolk Broads. We drove on in silence.

And yet there didn't seem to be the customary panic within the team. We were playing well, cocked up, gone a goal down. All too familiar but we carried on from where we were rudely disturbed. A couple of chances later and we were level. It didn't even seem too much of a shock. In fact 1-1 at half time made Norwich look good.

The second half continued the fine work. At no point did we feel in trouble. The goals will come. Gervinho went clear, rounded the keeper & yet still allowed Ruddy to save it! Frustrating. Minutes later Song looked up and had a choice between our number 27 or our captain. Song chose correctly as a lovely pass was iced by RVP with a delicious chip.

It was a good performance. It made me confident that they have started to sort themselves out. The error by Per was awful. These things happen but the way we responded was heartening. In the past that mistake would wind us. We would sulk. Struggle. Yesterday they pulled themselves together and got the job done as did the technology. We were out & about yet didn't miss a minute. 2.23am kick off on a Thursday? Bring it on.

- Posted using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

No Fireworks, Just Sparklers.

2011-11-06T08:49:00.013Z

Well that's more like it. A routine win against poor opposition with no heart in the mouth moments. It may not have had us on the edge of our seats but it was a great victory because this is just the kind of game we have messed up so easily in the past.

We started brightly especially down our right. Somebody has shouted at Theo as he has really livened up. Maybe he's seen The OC in training and had a panic. His crossing is still 'unlucky' but he looks fired up. This new determined T led to our opener as he softened up the keeper for that goal hanger of ours to tap in. That's 402 goals in 12 games now for RVP. The big show off!

I tweeted that it was so nice to see the old Arsenal back in our ground. Crisp quick passing, solid defending and no stupidly daft errors. Gooners agreed but I was put in my place by one non believer who calmly pointed out we were playing West Brom not Real Madrid. A fair point but West Brom are exactly the type of dreadful team our complacency would hand a victory to. Indeed it did not so long ago. This may not be as sweet as putting a racist in his place but in many ways more important. We've never had a problem with getting up for playing our equals. It's the tired looking, mid table lot we fans fear. We've seen so many horrors at the hands of the hopeless and yesterday felt like a milestone.

We went in 2 up at half time as TV announced his return with a finish unbecoming of a central defender. It was a crowd pleaser from a favourite. He slotted in nicely next to Kos to form many people's dream team pairing. Maybe harsh on Mertesacker as you don't get that many caps for Germany and be no good. He has brought a lot to the team. He maybe slower than an FA investigation but he's played every game since he signed and needed a rest. He's a quality defender and somehow we now have 3 to choose from. A nice defensive problem for a change. Verm & Kos had nothing to do as WBA refused to try but they did nothing efficiently. Last season we would've conceded during this nothingness.

West Brom came out and attacked a bit in the second half but didn't enjoy it so stopped quite quickly. Arteta then made it 3 without messing up a hair on his head after a sweeping move and a beautifully placed shot. 3-0 and nothing can go wrong now? Well, for a change, it didn't but the scars of the past run deep. 4 minutes left and West Brom had their first shot on target. I was pleased for their fans. It was an easy catch for Szeeeezer. We ironically cheered. 3 minutes left. 30,000 Gooners left. West Brom can't get 3 in 3 minutes can they? Of course not but those irrational thoughts can only enter an Arsenal fan's head. Maybe that's why so many leave early. Avoid the late collapse. It didn't happen. West Brom had a weak header on target. That's two now. Book the open top bus Roy. The ref ended it and we stood, clapped, cheered & awkwardly swayed to 'Moving On Up' relieved we had beaten, with ease, one of those teams we should beat with ease.

Was that The Arsenal? The proper Arsenal? Yes! I believe it was. Welcome back lads, welcome back.

- Posted using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

Knob in Cement.

2011-11-02T14:00:00.009Z

Well I suppose all games can't be sharing 8 goals (where you get 5) with a detestable rival as their vile captain falls on his face. So much excitement followed by a more wet than damp squib. It was a game we should've won but never really got going. This will be hard and brief (as all good evenings should be) as nothing really happened. As we walked home my son & I tried to think of incidents. We struggled. Szczesny's buggering about in the box was all we could remember.

If I never see Marseille again it will be too soon. 3 hours of my life has passed watching us huff and puff against them and it's not been fun. If the first game was like watching cement dry this was like drawing a cock & balls in the cement as it dries. Briefly amusing but ultimately forgettable.

Yet we have 4 points from these two festivals of bore. The results are good. 4 points from Marseille is excellent. We top the group. I'm not moaning just saying both games, Ramsey's goal aside, were highlightless. My worry is that from a position of qualifying last night the group has tightened up. We have messed this up in the past, finished second and been beaten by bigger boys in the last 16. Last night was a great chance to kick on and we just sat there.

There were Arsene's famous positives. Vermaelen was back. Thank goodness. He and Kos will give that back four some command and pace. There is debate as to whether Mertesacker should be first choice due to his height. I'd have him on the bench due to his pace. I thought Park looked OK. He certainly looked busier than Chamakh has been of late. He ran out of steam but has 'potential!' Less positive was Santos who is yet another left back playing in a very very free role. Defending is so 2004.

It's often said you are only as good as your last game so I'm ignoring last night. Excuse me while I rewind Terry's trip again.

- Posted using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

Buck Off

2011-10-30T07:35:00.009Z

"The Chavs can't own their stadium as The Arsenal own their pitch"

It is often said that 'a win is a win.' Well yesterday proved that that is nonsense. Scraping a 1-0 at home to Swansea is not the same as turning the Chavs over on their pitch after being behind twice. Huffing & puffing against Bolton is not the same as humiliating the original hideous club in front of their plastic fans. Yesterday we finally got that dizzy excitement we deserve. Yesterday reminded us all why we do this.

"Calm down. Let's get excited when we beat a big club"

It is unusual for me not to be able to see a game but due to half term, children and a stupid kick off time I found myself wandering around a theme park, sharing headphones with my son, ignoring all the delights around us. It was not a game to follow on the wireless. Twitter provided us with more flavour but I realised the people I follow were an army of nervous wrecks and rightly so. When the radio reported us giving the ball away twitter reported it as the worst bit of football ever. When we passed the ball twitter transformed us into 1970s Brazil. Twitter magnifies the good and the bad. It gave us hope. It ripped out our hearts. At 1.30, Santos was the worst player to ever wear the shirt. By 2pm he was being mentioned in the same messages as Winterburn (not for his defending to be fair!) Radio 5, David Pleat and twitter were a toxic mix but eventually they all came through to report The Arsenal scoring 5 away at the Chavs. Relief if a little embarrassing as people stared as a family, briefly, did the aeroplane celebration and a mass jump up and down to the soundtrack of 'YESSSSS! YESSSSSS!' The roller coaster had been stomach churning but let's do it again. We felt dizzy.

"I've got pants with more history than Chelsea"

I hate (strong word but really applies here) the Chavs more than any other team. I've hated them for decades. There is something about their flash smugness that is instantly dislikable. Even before their history started they were detestable. Since they were bought as a plaything for the village idiot they have been unbearably vile reflected in their managers, players and fans. They are a classless, historyless club. They have a chairman who wants to 'beat the crap out of Arsenal.' Well Mr Buck, how did that work out for you? They have a collection of wankers playing for them. They have a manager who spends an hour a day licking himself. He's a horrible little Mourinho lite in an ill fitting suit and to wipe the self satisfied smugness off his stupid face is a delight. As for John Terry. The list of what makes him detestable is longer than the list of misses that makes Torres a hilarious waste of money. Seeing Terry slip and go down like a teammates wife was laying there was the icing on a very delicious cake that tasted of victory.

"AR5-3NAL"

I know we are all getting carried away but why not? I know we still can't defend but if we are just going to score more than them then it's going to be quite a season. Maybe yesterday was an admission that the defence is hopeless. Attack is the best form of defence. That sounds fun! Doesn't it?!

It's been quite a week. A home win against Bolton in the milk cup to set up another home tie against Man City's multibillion pound reserves. The Bolton game was another we followed on the radio as my son and I travelled to Totton to see Cambridge City win 3-2 at the top club. The next day the AGM left many disgruntled by its stage managed nothingness. Silent Stan said little while PHW should've just provided photocopied handouts. Arsene saved the day. Nobody said we would beat the crap out of anyone. We do our talking on the pitch. Chelsea's pitch.

- Posted using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

Park the Horse and Cart.

2011-10-24T19:55:00.005+01:00

I've not enjoyed an afternoon of football more for ages. Everything fell into place to make it a very agreeable few hours. Arsenal won. Man u were humiliated. The Chavs lost and ended with 9. I watched a boy I coached at 7 years old play on the Arsenal pitch as the under 18s beat their Chav counterparts. Spuds were the only team that didn't get the memo but they were playing Blackburn and you'd have to be a special kind of shite to lose at.... Oh.

Last week I felt we were nowhere near the corner & if we ever reached it we would probably hit the first defender. This week I think we can see the corner. It's at Stamford Bridge & a win there next Saturday might convince me & the army of grumpy old gits that this lot might have something about them. For so many games this season it's been hard to find too many positives. In recent weeks there have been more and more as the wins mount up.

Yesterday we saw a spirit not seen for a while. Stoke made no attempt to beat us. They parked the horse & cart with only Crouch a Delap throw away from his own goal. Yet we didn't give up. I was encouraged how we keep looking for a way to unlock the Neanderthals. Ramsey's lovely chip confused them and Gervinho neatly fired home. 1-0 to The Arsenal. Nothing can go wrong now?

It could because the ref felt sorry for the cavemen. A nothing free kick was given and while Stoke played pinball our back 4 stood about like a defunct boy band. 1-1. Not again. You do have to admire how The Arsenal defence come up with new and inventive ways to be inept. It's a skill.

The second half started with Chamack still cluelessly leading the line while our striker (world class) sat in the comfy seats. At this point I thought a win was as likely as a loss. I still don't trust the back 4. The goal aside they did OK but it'll take more than that to win me over. They are getting better but can collapse at a moments notice. My goodness we need Vermaelan back. We also looked blunt up front. Calling RVP!

The captain came on to the biggest cheer of the day & Stoke were in trouble. Twice Gervinho did brilliantly to set up the saviour and the game was won. Not a brilliant display but we are getting there & while the wins keep coming, who cares?

I was one of a few hundred that stayed to watch the Under 18s play the Chavs as I know one of the players. Having coached him a few years ago I felt oddly proud to see him playing in our colours on that pitch. I taught him nothing!

The under 18s 1-0 win added to the first team's 3-1. News of Man U's hilarious defeat had already been cheered as news of the Chavs marvellous afternoon filtered through. We strolled home smiling and laughing for once. It was a good day.

- Posted using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

One Nizzle* to Da Arsenal

2011-10-19T23:42:00.002+01:00

What a fantastic result. When the draw was made we slumped back in our seats at our group. Well half way through we are top. Marseille looked the stickiest of the sticky and we've just come away with 3 points. Many of us would've taken a draw. Arsene said 4 points from these two games would be great. He would've taken a draw. He was given a win and a lovely refreshing smile. Nice to see.

A draw looked most likely for 91 minutes. Marseille were a steaming pile of Sunderland with a sprinkling of Bolton yet, again, we lacked the invention to beat them without a struggle. Let's be honest it was about as exciting as watching cement set, painting it, watching that dry, adding soil, planting grass seed, watching that grow....it floated no boats, it buttered nobody's parsnips. It was boring. Marseille made very few attempts to worry us. This was a bit down to the back 4 and especially my MOTM Koschelny. He had one of his good nights tonight.

It was a game neglecting the seat's edge. Bottoms firmly planted back, angry birds on the go as the ball trudged about the pitch being given away to a person wearing a different colour. Nobody can cross a ball and the culprits we're duly replaced. We were on top for most of the game but it was a small mound of shite we had climbed. Marseille were a disgrace.

Despite the tedium 0-0 was a result. A win at home and Arsene's plan is complete. Suddenly a move of quality appeared. Ramsey! 1-0! Mental strength bent those bars on the window of the jail? A brief yet intense flash of joy in an evening of dullness. Enough to transform a great result into a wonderful one. Say we are top of the league.

5 wins out of 6 suggests we are OK. Maybe we've been spoilt in the past by dynamic and swift teams as there is still that little whiff of average about this team. We need a convincing stuffing of a team to inspire us all. The next fixture always looks tricky. Yet tomorrow is the time to worry about Stoke. From tonight's game we need to take a heady mix of back 4 solidity, spirit & Arsene's smile added to wingers who wing and strikers who strike. Tonight we celebrate a win. A win on Snoop Doggy Dogg's birthday*. A win on the very eve Westlife are disassembled. Don't you just love it when that happens?

*Turns out we didn't win on Snoop's special day. I was a day early. It just goes to show you should never believe anything Grandmaster Flash tells you.

- Posted using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

Bending over in the shower.

2011-10-17T18:37:00.005+01:00

Before the game yesterday I tweeted 'win pretty, win ugly, just win.' Well that was about as pretty as Steve Bruce bending over in the shower. It started well. It looked like Steve wouldn't wash & keep the bag firmly on his ample head. Things started pretty. Within 31 seconds, with the stadium half full, we were ahead. Relax. We looked good. RVP had released the pressure. He spun Bergkampesque to see his chip tickle the post. He blasted wide. RVP was our Sunday roast.

Then it stopped. Steve removed the mask and started to unbutton. The confidence drained as we decided to let a really poor Sunderland make a game of it. They went close then won a daft free kick that an old boy planted beautifully. By the end of the first half Steve was soaping up. It was as ugly and unpleasant as that. Poor Jenkinson was caught and Cattermole made Sczzzzzer's dive look world class. Sunderland could've been 3-1 up but then so could we.

The second half was more of the same. We were generally on top but we are The Arsenal and they are the man u retirement home for pricks so we should be. Sunderland looked dangerous before the break yet resorted to assaults just outside their box in the second half. Maybe they knew how shit the free kicks would be. Twitter tweeted that we hadn't scored like that for 100 years as each inept player thumped them over. Finally RVP was allowed a poke. Boom! Top corner! Outta jail! 3 points.

For large parts of yesterday we looked like a poor 80s tribute team. Don Howe would be proud of how uninspiring we looked. The crowd feared the worst. Frustration set in. It was nervously quiet. Right or wrong the only noise is exasperation. We won. We won ugly. That's the form of Champions! 10 points in 2 months. That's the form of the bottom 3. That performance, as a whole, showed we are nowhere near the corner let alone turning it. Sunderland were utter shit and we weren't much better. WE WON! I know, that's great but the bigger picture worries me. We live on hope but for a lot of that we were less of it.

RVP is proving to be the world class player we all knew we had. He, unfortunately for him, looks like the 14 year old playing for the under 10s. He's too good for the players around him. Late at night, in bed, when the silence enhances your thoughts, you wouldn't blame him if the darkness persuaded him to leave sooner rather than later. He's good enough to play with the best & during his time with us we have got rid of them & replaced with the average. Granted all the other really classy players are broken but are there enough of them to make RVP want to stay. We need to give him a reason to stay. We need to give him the hope we crave. This summer was hopeless.

Yet while we keep scratching out wins the hope clings on. I've seen how pretty we can be and I want that back. No more managers covered in shower gel especially with Stoke coming to town. Win in France? Win on Sunday? No idea. We can but hope (& hide the soap.)

- Posted using BlogPress from an iTelephone. You think of Steve Bruce in a shower at your own risk. This blog will not be responsible for any trauma or therapy that may result.

Who stole St Tottringham's Day?

2011-10-02T19:25:00.006+01:00

Right, let's face facts. We have a very average team on our hands here. I've been thinking it all season but I think today has confirmed it. We lost. Fair enough but we weren't beaten by the totts. We have beaten ourselves so often in the past few seasons I'm starting to think it is actually us who are the wankers.

Some were saying that was our best performance of the season. Some were saying there were positives. Some were saying we got some pride back.

WE LOST TO TOTTENHAM!

If that was our best then we are in real trouble. We could've won that. We probably should've but we didn't. Brad Friedal had virtually nothing to worry him yet Sczzzzzer made some world class saves. We are no better than the spuds. That's where we are now. A fair to middling average team that will beat the likes of Bolton at home but will self destruct against the likes of Blackburn away.

We had chances but not many. RVP wasn't given one while Unlucky blasted over and Gervinho, with his hair out of his eyes like theatre curtains, somehow missed the target. The forwards (for they cannot be called strikers) let us down. The defence however was consistent. They let two soft ones past them. The first, a floated ball that Mertesacker and Sagna decided to ignore rolled down Van De Vaart's arm onto his boot and into our net. I couldn't give a Bale's uncle that it was a handball. The point is nobody was near him to stop him hand balling it. The second was just sloppy from just about everyone. We twated about in clearing it and Walker thumped it. Nobody went to close him down and he found a gap in our defence big enough to drive a burning bus through on it's way to fill up at Sports Direct. Song was miles out of position, the ball flew through where he should've been and Sczzzzzer fumbled it. Maybe a goalie error but I'll let him off because he is the only one keeping us in games at the moment. Song, despite being 5 yards from the ball, turned his back on it. Unforgivable! He did it at Chelsea and he's done it again. For a big man he's a bit soft. Is he worried that if the ball hits him all the dye will fall out of his hair and he won't look like a dickhead anymore? I don't want to pick on him as he was pulled all over the place due to our left back having a free role but today I seemed to be shouting at him more and more for being pushed off the ball and looking lost. Not his fault he's in the back four but I'm too irrational to be fair at the moment!

So we sit tonight 15th in the league after 7 games. We have amassed 7 points from those games so to describe us as average might be a bit kind. As it stands we are no good. How do you rate Everton and Wolves? That's how good we are. It's a brave and a bit shit new world. We need to stop worrying about the old rivals as they have changed. We need to hope Sunderland and WBA lose not Man U or Chelsea. We are in the poo and we need to scrape ourselves up this table but while we miss chance after chance and refuse to defend the bottom half will become a familiar home. We need to back this squad, what else can we do as fans? Yet, forgive me for not looking forward to the next game or the one after that. They could be wins. They could be loses. With this bunch your guess is as good as mine.

Exclusive offer to all readers. Fly anywhere in the world on Poland's newest airline at your own expense. 99% of the time Fly Szczesny flies through the air successfully. Rarely does it crash and burn like Easy Almunia.

Controversial moan!

2011-09-29T21:13:00.001+01:00

Cards on the table, I'm not a great fan of the champions league. 'What!' I hear you cry. Yes! Not a great fan despite it being responsible for my greatest away trip.

Paris 2006 with the man from Eastlower, his brother (who had my wife's ticket due to having just given birth! Yes I was allowed to leave her with a week old baby. What a woman!) and our friend MD had the best 72 hours ever despite the horrible result. The picture of me in front of the half time score board (1-0 to the Arsenal) takes pride of place in our house. Still not keen though.

It's a massive money making juggernaut ploughing through the game. It has become the ultimate aim at the expense to actual success. Robert Pires once answered a question about being disappointed with 3rd replied, 'No, we are in the Champions league.' We'd won nothing yet were successful. Every year we are in the league of Champions usually as champions of nothing. Us and 2 other English teams. I'm writing this while the spuds huff against Shamrock Rovers in the dreaded Wafer cup. (ha! Shamrock have just gone 1-0 up!!) It's the cup nobody wants to be in. If Arsenal ended up playing on a spursday night there would be less interest than the Carling Cup. The champions league has undermined it. It's struggling to be second best out of two cups.

It's the groups of the Champions league I really dislike. It's an elongated cash generating nonsense for a corrupt organisation and we all fall for it. Don't even get me going on the fixed draw due to TV schedules.

However, a win is a win!

- Posted too hot & quite grumpy using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

Birthday Bashing

2011-09-25T22:21:00.001+01:00

Well that was a better week wasn't it? Things feel nicer when you've won 2 games whatever the opposition. Division 4's Shrewsbury gave us a scare by scoring. Bolton woke us up with an early chance that Szczesny saved beautifully. Our hearts sank but was it mental strength that saw us through?

Our next Milk Cup opponents rocked up on Saturday for my first 6 pointer relegation battle. Exciting! Unfortunately the first half wasn't. As we went to our seats the steward asked us if we would win. My son & I both made that strange sound, accompanied with a shoulder shrug, that means 'don't know' or 'wouldn't bet on it.' Apparently we weren't the only doubters.

The team played out the first half carrying our anxieties. It was slow, ponderous and, dare I say it, dull. No pace, no speed, no invention. At half time we feared the worst. We were better than Bolton but we've lost in that situation before. On Friday @eastlower texted me claiming he felt bullish. 3 wins in 16 suggested a madness. The first half confirmed it. The bull had slipped it's chain. At half time we were no good.

The second half needed a boom and within 2 minutes RVP out (world) classed the whole Bolton defence to slam it past the near post. The stadium breathed out briefly but we've done that prematurely too often. The relief soon turned to nerves as we realised we now have a lead we could lose. Bolton were awful but so were Blackburn. We could easily score Bolton a goal if they asked nicely.

Suddenly things started to go our way. It seems a long time since we felt the touch of lady luck but she was lurking just outside the box as Theo was pulled down as he stormed through & Bolton found themselves a man down. Nothing can go wrong now? The way Theo was playing it was a daft foul. Wheater could've let him shoot & then taken the resulting Bolton throw. Poor T frustrated us. He's begged to play down the middle. He later went clean through only to fluff his lines. Out wide he's often ineffective. What do you do with a problem called Theo? You stick with him & let him slip a delightful ball to RVP to join the 100 club. Enough? Or enough is enough?

Bolton were done while we relaxed in the seats. A poor first half was forgotten as Song cracked one home. 'We are staying up, we are staying up.' 3-0 is as good as we could've hoped. More convincing than the Swansea win but nothing special. We are so far from the sparkling speedy Arsenal everyone fell for but we've turned that awkward corner. Wednesday (let's not even think about Sunday) will be a right test but we face it with hope.

Yesterday was my Birthday & the boys came through. Arsenal 3 Bolton 0. Cambridge City 3 Bashley 0. I should have birthdays more often. Indeed it was a happy one.

- Posted using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

Blackburned

2011-09-18T08:33:00.002+01:00

It's rare that I don't get to watch The Arsenal but yesterday we were all busy due to a ridiculous kick off time. My son & I were on a motorway to Cambridge to see an FA Cup 1st round qualifier and relied on Radio 5 to bring us the good news. We left 5 minutes into the game. "If we can't beat Blackburn we may as well give up now" we said as we left the house. Sky box was recording so we could enjoy it later.

Things started well as we queued to get out of London. The wonders of invention meant we were watching Gervinho's excellent goal on a mobile phone at traffic lights. We're on our way. One way traffic for both of us. Blackburn, unhappy with their manager, were chickens in the headlights. Nothing can go wrong now!

Until Blackburn attack that is. Unfortunately the defence are still shit. Samba was left alone to miss an easy header before Yakabu finished nicely as the back 4 stood about. Reports are just coming in that Mertesacker has finally finished turning for that goal.

We went on to score 2 more really good goals. Great unless you defend like utter muppets. A nothing ball bounced off Song into our goal as the defence stood about again bemused by the round thing being kicked towards them. Yakabu then scored again. "Offside" the team cried. "Bloody mark Yakabu" the rest of us replied. Totally unmarked 4 yards out! Staggering.

The 4th was comical. Blackburn attacked the wing. Djourou lumped towards the player and made the daftest of challenges. Indeed calling it a challenge is kind. It was pathetic. However, he should get away with it as the cross has gone straight to Koschelny totally unchallenged in our area. Koschelny is facing the ball. He has a number of choices. He could kick it very hard away from the netty thing, ie, his job or he could neatly sidefoot it home in a way Torres can only dream of. Oh! He's a fox in the wrong box. Stunningly idiotic.

I lost my mind. We had just turned off the motorway & I actually pulled over to swear on twitter. I wasn't alone. This was the worst defeat of the season & in a season that's only 5 games old & one of those games was an 8-2 loss that's saying something. At Old Trafford we faced a strong Man U with a very weak side. Yesterday we played a very poor team with our strongest fit 11.

People were saying we have to be patient as we have lots of new players and it takes time. Isn't that what the preseason is for? These boys should've been trotting about in the friendlies. The club messed up the summer & given themselves another excuse for this shower. We need changes quickly. I'm not going to jump on the obvious bandwagon. A defensive coach is the way forward in the short term. This needs stopping quickly and that can be done first thing Monday morning. Make no mistake we are in trouble here. If we played ourselves we'd both lose at the moment. Worst start since the 1950s. Bottom 5 at time of writing. Worst goal difference in the league. We are minus 23 goals behind Man u after 5 games! 5 games! 5!

When we scored Blackburn's 4th I explained to my son that lean periods are quite common in football. We need to just sit this out and it will be OK. My son looked at me and said, 'I've known nothing but lean periods!' He started really caring at the start of the 05/06 season and has known nothing but disappointment. 'Is it me?' he asked. 'No son' I replied, 'It's them.' As if that conversation wasn't bad enough I had to buy him a Cambridge City shirt as he didn't want to wear his Arsenal shirt. I hope it means as much to those making an utter mess of running the club as it does to the rest of us.

Shrewsbury must be looking forward to Tuesday night more than we are. If we can't beat Shrewsbury we might as well give up ............ As for the bottom of the table clash against Bolton.....

- Posted using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

What the......

2011-09-17T15:29:00.001+01:00

.......fuck was that?

- Posted depressed, miserable, fed up & pissed off using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

No one to blame.

2011-09-14T13:49:00.001+01:00

A last minute goal against always leaves you feeling deflated. It was not only a cracker but unusual in that I couldn't find anyone to blame.

Its rare for me to see a good goal scored against us. I'm biased. It's as simple as that. Every goal at Old Trafford, for example, were a direct result of our poor defending rather than their ability. It's my way of giving the opposition no credit. Bad things are down to us never them. The 88th minute screamer left me initially speechless before exclaiming, to the shock of the living room, that there was nobody to blame. The ball was headed clear, which made a nice change, and Benayoun sprinted to close down Perisic but the shot was too good. Brilliance that I'll take squarely on the chin.

It was no more than Dortmund deserved. Indeed, had we escaped to victory it would have been floodlit robbery. We were battered. Wave after wave of attacks led to poor finish after poor finish. There was an over supply of kittens available stemmed only by RVP's chocolatty finish after a sublime ball (that wasn't a cross) by Theo. Against all the odds Arsene's Jedi Mind Tricks to the bench were working even if the tactics weren't spot on.

The second half took place in our half with only the occasional appearance from their keeper. 1-0 to The Arsenal. The good old days. The defence was a mixture of solid and shambles. Solbles? Gibbs still concerns me defensively. I'm not sure a left back should be playing in such a free role which means he's rarely left or back. The huge plus again was Szzzzzzzny. Another amazing, commanding performance. We've got ourselves a right good goalie there.

At the final whistle I was down but soon realised we got away with that a bit. I'm sure I'll feel the same a lot this season. It could be a long one.

Written during breaks in the loo at work using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

Vorm Our Vay To Victory

2011-09-12T15:09:00.001+01:00

After unequally sharing 10 goals with the school bully (nice he allowed us two I suppose) all we wished for was a win & a win is what we got.

On the way to the ground there was anticipation rather than trepidation due to the late night shopping of the previous Monday. The new boys weren't so much exciting as necessary. Three Swansea fans asked if I could take their picture with the ground as a background. This was another cup final to them. Nothing to lose. They weren't confident but their belief that they couldn't defeat Arsenal because they were Arsenal planted doubt in me. We have been nothing short of shit for months. Would today be a Blackpool thrashing or a Hull City humiliation? With this side you can't tell.

We started brightly & the crowd were right up for it. The in fighting had gone. We were one again. The 8-2 had galvanised the club. Blame was shadowed by the future. We need to get out of this mess starting today. Mertesacker looked enormous even from my seat in the clouds. That's more like it. A big international beast of a man who knows where to stand at set pieces. He made the odd error but looked solid & I'd rather have him there than any of the other fit options. Most pleasing was how Koschelny mopped up the errors. He's come a very long way very quickly.

R. Teta (like R. Kelly, that's right isn't it) stole the new boy's show. He looked lively & slotted into the passing, moving, triangle thing we love so much. He showed the value of a signing who knows this league. Whereas Mertesacker looked a bit off the pace Arteta was at home. He maybe Cesc lite but that's where we are now.

Many positives after the *-2. Not least Szzzzzzzny who looks like a proper goalkeeper. He's confident and commanding & pulled off a number of top stops especially when Mertesacker let a Swan nip in front of him in the first half at 0-0.

Concerns were Gibbs & Walcott. Gibbs is interesting as Arsene obviously rates him highly but has bought an experienced Brazilian international who won't be happy with being 2nd choice. Although you could understudy Gibbs and still play more games than him. He did ok going forward. His crossing sometimes seems better than Walcott's but defensively he seems all over the place. Clichy used to ignore where he should be & Gibbs is copying that. It's an area that stronger teams will target.

On the other wing we have Theo. He's desperate to play centrally & I can see why. He doesn't get past people & his crossing is woeful. If he made a promise he'd struggle to cross his heart. I really want him to succeed but he's going backwards out there. Oddly enough it was an awful cross-cum-shot from Theo that led to the winner. A deflected shot-cum-cross was kept in by Vorm who inexplicably threw the ball against Angel Rangel (& if his names don't rhyme it's criminal) & into the path of Arshavin. My initial thought was what's he going to do as everyone had run away ready for a clearance. From a very tight angle rangle he found the net. A fantastic effort & thank Bergkamp it was as that was it for us.

We had chances. We hit the wood but so did they. In the end we were on the edges of our padded seats as Swansea gave it a final push. They should've equalised when the ball was skied from a few yards out. We scored a freaky tricky goal. They missed an easy one. The margins are thin.

At the whistle there was a lot of sighs of relief. The steward looked at me as we left (when the game had actually finished still unlike thousands around us) & said, "you've got to take what you can at the moment!" I agreed but this tainted the win. Yes it was lucky. It probably was just about deserved but it probably wasn't good enough either to make any of us think we can even challenge the top 4. We are so far away from the Manchester pair at present it's scary. Yet, a win is a win and my God we needed it.

- Posted using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

The Arsenal Thorough Worsted

2011-08-28T22:34:00.005+01:00

Eleven little red lads in a deep red hue,

Came to show Loughborough a thing or two;

But the Luffs they said nay,

It is our turn today,

And the reds returned, thorough worsted.

That is how the Loughborough local paper opened it's report on Arsenal's largest defeat in 1896. Before today that was the only time we have ever let 8 goals in. 115 years of football and nobody managed it. If the year started in a 19 nobody managed it. Eight! 8! Huit! Ocho! One fat lady! Fucking 8! However you say it it's a lot of goals to let in. That's 1 every 11 minutes 15 seconds. No one has done that to us in living memory. 8!

Usually we all analyse the term, performance and individuals but today there is no point. They all did their best considering the neglect. They scored two goals at Old Debtford. First time since 1984 I believe (haven't checked sorry) while missing a penalty. Considering the team selection and instructions to get two is a miracle. Conceding 8 was shocking but not unexpected considering the neglect. I actually feel sorry for our boys.

I feel sorry for the kids who have been thrown in right up to their necks. For a manager who has been so protective towards youngsters it's extraordinary to see him compromising these kids. I feel sorry for the older heads who have been swamped by youngsters. They can only guide so many and there are just too many. I feel sorry for the bench. Yet again it looked like a kids birthday party outing. There are no game changers on there. I feel sorry for RVP. He's at a stage in his career where he needs trophies and he looks about this flimsy squad and must despair. After today he would be well within his rights to kick the manager's door down and ask what the Squillaci is going on. I feel sorry for Szczesny. He was our best player by far and kept the score in single figures. Without him Loughborough would've become a distant memory! I feel sorry for the whole team being asked to play 'The Arsenal Way' despite not having the players to do it. Gary Neville sat in the Sky studio almost speechless at how high the defence were playing. Paul Merson was slowing losing it.

I feel sorry for the whole club as Sir Alex looked embarrassed by the win.

I feel sorry for the away fans who were once again magnificent. Old Scumford is a horrible place to go and they sang their hearts out and should get all their money back from the club if there is any decency left.

How has it come to this? It's obvious to all and very old ground. We were promised a big summer but that was a one way promise. We need players. We all know it. It's now critical. I know we have 8 (there's that number again) out and they would help but the squad is very very light even when everyone is fit. Again boring old ground.

I'm at a loss to know what else to say. I could say so much but it's all been said before. We know what needs to be done but with only 3 days to do it, it might all be too little too late. I've phoned missing persons and reported the loss of an entire football club and a shit load of money. Manchester Police have arrested the United first team on suspicion of murdering a group of London teenagers on a day trip to the city. Seriously though, we are in a lot of trouble here.

Eleven little lads in a stupid double blue

Went to Old Trafford without a fucking clue

It wasn't a twist of fate

When the Mancs hit eight

And the blues returned, thorough worsted.

Rabbit in a Magic Hat.

2011-08-25T08:07:00.002+01:00

So Arsenal, how could we have ever doubted you? Shame on us!
Even if you claim to have never doubted you were certainly worried after quite a short striker headed home an equaliser just before half time.

It was a massive evening. It just could not go wrong. Arsene needed to pull out a victorious rabbit from his magic hat or the future was firmly poo coloured. Imagine how this morning would feel if we were facing Trumptonshire in the Wafer cup. Imagine the pressure on the manager. Imagine the papers & the blogs! Stop now! The rabbit was found and what a lovely, fat, fluffy rabbit dripping with mental strength he was. He will be popping into every national newspaper office later with a knuckle duster just to make sure the editors have stuck our badge back together again. How annoyed will the tabloids be this morning? They were desperate for us to join the spuds. Find another story you muppets.

The first half was a breathless ding dong. Two teams with very little between them racing from one end of the pitch to the other. From kick off Udinese made a chance & within seconds so did we. This was uncomfortable viewing. Quite a lot of girlie screaming was going on in our living room as they hit the post a couple of times & we played pinball in their area. That turned to swearing then silence as Di Natale headed past Szczesny with a stunning header which Djourou should've dealt with.

Half time was unpleasant. After 1 goal in 3 & a half matches it was hard to see the breakthrough coming. Twitter was shuddering with concerned Gooners. However, we just needed one. Just one. The collective worldwide relief for all those in red with white sleeves was felt after a marvellous dribble by Gervinho & a whollop by the captain. 1-1. Nothing can go wrong now can it?

You'd think not but you have to remember that referees can do idiotic things in the blink of an eye. A corner was swug in, TV was pushed in the back, the ball brushed his arm & the essentially pointless extra official saw his chance to be given a more important job by Platini. Amazing how this bloke saw that but his mate missed a clear elbow on Theo at the other end. A clear red card & penalty. However, instead the home team were given a huge opportunity on a UEFA shaped plate. What followed resulted in everyone in the living room getting to their feet. Wojciech pulled off the most magnificent Seamanesque save, keeping us firmly in the driving seat while annoying Platini & the media enormously. A double whammy of joy.

Theo, still nursing a sore (but not glass) jaw, raced onto the final bits of a 1-2 with Sagna to make it 1-2 to The Arsenal. With the 14 on his back, he cut inside, headed straight for their keeper & buried it without hesitation. He looked so like an old 14 of ours that we were all surprised he didn't curl it around the keeper into the other corner. High praise indeed and proof, if it were needed, that Theo needs a chance to play more centrally. We may already have the striker we need. He'd be like a new signing!

And you thought I'd forgotten. Of course we need players. One win hasn't changed anything. We have a very long season ahead of us which will be littered with injuries & suspensions. We need experience so the likes of Frimpong aren't looking at Ramsey for help. Ramsey is still so young & inexperienced he needs someone to look up to & learn. Theo Walcott, at 22 is considered an old hand! RVP said after the game what we are all thinking. For the captain to publicly say the win was great as it will generate funds for new players is a big deal. We, as fans, have little power in forcing the club's hand other than stop supporting & that's not going to happen. But when the captain, whose deal is running out, cries out for help, they need to listen and act.

Last night proved & reminded us all how good we are. They played with passion & intelligence. Jenkinson, living all our dreams, looked beyond his years. Frimpong again did a job. The future's bright but with a smattering of the right signings it could be blinding.

Oh and Nasri can fuck right off too.

- Posted in bed, far too early, using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

Too Much Too Young

2011-08-20T23:07:00.002+01:00

I'm at that age now where a football match shouldn't leave me feeling quite so miserable. It's an escape. It's not important in the grand scale of things. For a couple of hours you forget everything and focus. Briefly, the fortunes of young millionaires rule your emotions. I shouldn't let it get to me but if a cracking away win puts a spring in your step then a home defeat will puncture you.

I was concerned by the team. It looked like a Milk Cup side with the odd first teamer. Our left backs are both virtually untested and both broken so we needed to shuffle to bring in another untested teen (who did OK!). The central pair at the back were solid. Indeed TV was our best player but then he is a grown up. I like Kos too. These two will see us through. Well until Kos' back goes into spasm and he limps off in agony. I've had that injury twice & recognised it. My goodness it's painful. If it's what happened to me he'll be out for a while & will be suicidal with what's on daytime televsion.

The midfield was all about Frimpong Tiddle Eye Po. He looks like Mr T (or considering his age, the man from the snickers (Marathon) adverts.) His obvious inexperience worried me yet he looked OK. He's obviously going to be a huge (literally) talent. He was holding beautifully but was so pumped up he probably deserved 2 or 3 yellows and a red. 2 yellows & only a 1 match ban was a result in the end. Who plays against Manchester's second team is a mystery.

The bench looked like a children's party. Not a lot on there to change a tight game. Rumours about Punch and Judy at half time to keep the little ones quiet in the dressing room are unfounded however RVP is a doubt for midweek after slipping on some spilt jelly and ice cream. Half the squad left carrying wash bags. The other half left with party bags while news filtered through that the Man U game will now be shown on CBeebies not Sky.

We can analyse the players, performance or formations all night but I think there is a wider issue here. At the start of every season fans have their hopes clearly marked in their minds. It might be a good cup run or safe from relegation. The problem we have at The Arsenal is our expectations are, if not Champions, very close to Champions every year. We have come to expect to be up there and as we play in the ££££ league every season then maybe the brief is being met. However, we can all see that this squad of players is just not good enough (yet) to give the title a realistic go. They will not win the league and I think that's the first time I've felt that so strongly under Arsene. We all know we will face injuries and suspensions over the season and this squad, as it stands, is not equipped to deal with it. After 3 games it's not equipped to deal with it.

The other question that keeps popping up is, 'Are the club as financially secure as we are led to believe?' Is the squad being filled with cheaper promising youngsters as we can't actually afford anyone else? If we make no significant signings in the next two weeks what other reason could it be? Arsene's faith in such a thinly experienced squad can't be that strong. We will be found out.

My immediate concern is Wednesday. We need to be picked up (a nice uplifting signing would do that!) and make sure we don't face the horrors of Thursday nights on Channel 5. That's what the spuds do. That's not for us. Great expectations again?

Lastly, I thoroughly enjoyed Twitter today. Straight after the match I was very down on the side and got loads of abuse from the rose tinted brigade. After a large roast dinner I was more positive and got abuse from the doom merchants calling me deluded. There is an Arsenal civil war going on and I pray the club do the right things to dampen this. Also, we are all supporters of this fine club. A bit of arguing or disagreement doesn't make you any less of a fan. I'll support this lot all my life. I'll follow them to the non-league if that ever happens. That doesn't mean I have to like everything that is happening. This squad is too light, too young and too inexperienced to give both mancs and the chavs a good run for their money this year. We will not win the league and we could be facing Wafer Cup nonsense very soon and I don't like it.

Maybe that's all we can afford. The sooner I accept that the better.

- Posted using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

What's Stan's Plan?

2011-08-18T07:47:00.001+01:00

I know I wasn't alone in dreading this game. It was our first home game of the season & I wasn't looking forward to it. It was a massively important match. We needed to keep away from Thursday night wafer cup games & potential clashes with the spuds. Nobody seemed hugely confident after a less than impressive run around in Newcastle. The team looked as flat as the fans feel. We've played these qualifiers before but I can't remember so many nerves.

We won! That's two games unbeaten with two clean sheets. Not bad eh? One foot in the £££ league draw? I wish! How Udinese got nil is as big a mystery as to why the club are refusing to buy the players we need (for that is what they are doing. It's the only explanation.) Udinese were impressive. They were fit & quick and in periods out Arsenaled us. It was heart in the mouth stuff. The second leg will be as tough as Joey Barton in a nightclub. I'd rather it were as tough as Joey Barton on the pitch but we'd need a 5-0 lead for that.

If our first game centred around the Hitler tribute then our second was all about injuries. What odds would you've got before this game that Gibbs wouldn't make it to September? He has proved once again that he is made of feathers and those little sticks they expect you to stir your coffee with in Starbucks. I feel sorry for him. He's a talent but with a squad this thin we have no room to carry these injury prone boys. Djourou's another one. 9 minutes after coming on for the stick man & he is limping off with a memorial Cesc hamstring pull too. We end up holding onto a 1-0 lead with two 19 year olds coming off the bench to make their £££ league debuts. How has this been allowed to happen? We got away with it but on another night that could've ended up 1-3 & kids on the bench wouldn't be looked at so kindly.

The other main talking point was Arsene's ludicrous touch line ban for calling an idiotic referee an idiot. He sat next to Boro Primorac who spent the evening on Twitter & trying to clear that Angry Birds level he's been stuck on for weeks. UEFA want to tell Arsene off for allegedly passing messages to Pat via Boro. Why did the club not prepare for this? Arsene simply needed a glove puppet that could whisper onto Boro's ear. I'd love to see The Arsenal answering a charge of passing on messages via Sooty. We had a chance there to make UEFA look as stupid as they really are. The 437 pizzas that arrived in the name of Primorac will certainly confuse them.

Since Monday the latest score is Leavers 3 (Cesc, Eboue, Vela) Newcomers 0. Nesri has come close to making it 4-0. Have the Newcomers even had a shot? I've no idea but we unless we act quickly we could be in trouble. The end of August is crashing towards us like a shawcross tackle. Rumours that our only signing will be Kate Middleton as she is Royally F****d too are unfounded!

Yet if we don't sign players (& I mean players in the plural) there may not be any room for jokes. It's clear we won't win the league this year. I'm worried about getting past Udinese.

I'm genuinely concerned. What's the plan? Get all this transfer money in pound coins and pile it up in front of our goal mouth?

We need players, good results against top teams & miracles in the treatment room in the next few days or there may be no way back.

You get one man in
One man out
Out out out out
Shake it all about
Do The Arsenal Hokey Kroenke
It will save a few pounds
Cos that's what it's all about.

(thanks to @ChargingThrough for polishing that rhyme up)

Up The Gunners.

- Posted using BlogPress from an iTelephone in a lovely cafe by the sea.

Spot the difference.

2011-08-14T07:57:00.001+01:00

I wasn't going to blog about yesterday. I didn't want to start the season like this. Three months ago I sat at The Arsenal as we slumped to Aston Villa. The atmosphere was poisonous. Boos rang out while Gooners fought among themselves in the stands. Things needed to change.

Three months of promises and that's what we get. Now, we didn't blow a 4 goal lead so this was a far less damaging draw than last season (ignoring the red card and possible ban for Song for a moment. Hold on! It is a pretty damaging draw!) It's just not how you want to start. It's hardly hitting the ground running is it? I thought we kept the ball well. Tried hard to get it back but did very little to actually beat a very poor Newcastle. That was our easiest game this month and we blew it.

The positives, after a summer of worry, were the back 5. Sez looked commanding in the box. There's a lot of pressure on his shoulders this season. He's our number 1 now and thank goodness as there is little in reserve to challenge that. The defence kept a clean sheet which makes a nice change but before we get over excited Newcastle were about as threatening as a baby with a spoon. If they finish above the bottom 3rd they will have done well.

And that's the crux. If we don't have the ideas to take 3 points off a poor side after 3 months of preparation I despair. It was a poor 0-0 with hardly a shot to register in the memory. Without Joey Barton the game would probably be forgotten already. What an absolute arsehole he is but yet again we fell for it. Did nobody warn Gervinho about him? That whole couple of minutes was a disgrace. Firstly it was a penalty. Gervinho was clipped. He was then assaulted while the ball was in play so that's a penalty too. These two penalty shouts ended Gervinho's debut and let Barton off the hook. Poor refereeing. Somehow we had a man fouled in the box which led to him being sent off. Staggering. Worrying too that Barton goes down easier than a crack whore holding a fiver and one of the Taylors thinks a stroke of the face is the same as an elbow. God help their wives for very different reasons!

What worries me more is that the side that played yesterday can only be strengthened by bringing Jack in. There is really nobody else that would make a difference. We have the cast of Glee (or Kids from Fame for older viewers) chomping at the bit on the bench but are any of them ready to invigorate a lacklustre show? In a couple of days this squad needs to try and keep us away from the prospect of unthinkable Thursday night football.

Turn it around boys. Give us fans something to believe in. Show us Arsene still knows. It's the least we deserve.

- Posted using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

Back to School Sale

2011-08-12T17:46:00.004+01:00

So today is the day Cesc Fabregas finally signs for Barcelona and joins up with his mind after it signed for them 15 months ago. It's been a messy divorce and that's a shame. He should be remembered fondly by Gooners but his actions, and more so the actions of the filth he joins, means there isn't a lot of love for our ex-captain. Due to where he is heading we can't even wish him well. He hasn't reached legendary status and will probably be forgotten. Generations of Gooners won't list him in their best ever teams. There are few things he has done that can't be outdone by others. He never lifted a trophy.

What does disturb me is it looks likely Fabregas was on some sort of strike. He hasn't kicked a ball for us since April and this fueled the rumours. What's important is we perceive him to be forcing the issue and that leaves us cold. It's said he wasn't match fit for Newcastle but you just watch him jump around like a spring lamb if they want him to play. Apparently Barcelona are facing a huge injury crisis after half there squad, on hearing the news of Cesc, ejaculated themselves to death.

Arsene said he wanted this resolved by the start of the season and, for once this summer, the club told the truth. It's unfortunate Arsene said at 9am that nobody is leaving and by 2pm somebody had. Arsene is losing friends. Not me. I'm still a believing Arsenist but I'm being tested. I think it's the fear of who may take over that helps this belief. He hasn't gone mad. He hasn't lost it. He's doing things his way. He gave us the Untouchables so I'm still looking for that next miracle (for they were a sight to behold.)

The dress rehearsals didn't go well. Tomorrow night is the real thing. After a busy summer was promised the final cast list shouldn't be like this. Captain gone. Nasri is sick (of surviving on the thousands The Arsenal pay him.) We have players who don't want to be with us like Bendtner. We have players who are just not good enough even as squad players like Squillaci and Almunia. We have a flimsy left back. Jack is injured. We have some new school boys on the wings. Tomorrow has to go well. No excuses. The club have had the whole summer to sort out the obvious. Imagine if we concede from a set piece! Imagine if we lose!

The money is there and we have 19 days to use it wisely. Unfortunately in that 19 days we have Newcastle, Udinese twice, Liverpool and Man U. Anyway, I'm still excitedly nervous or is that nervously excited. I don't know but Match of the Day is on series link. Bring it on.

Worried? Arsene Knows .....doesn't he?

Burning Chavscum Stuff!

2011-08-04T08:33:00.006+01:00

For the last few days I've been thinking about the mess that is the Arsenal summer. We were promised a big one. So far we haven't had it. I was going to start it with the line,

Hopefully this blog entry will be out of date quicker than a Diaby injury in a comeback match.

By that I hoped all my concerns about the squad would be solved before I'd posted the piece. They haven't. Constant rumours about numerous players on top on the relentless Cesc nonsense is dragging me down. There is a part of me that hopes Cesc goes this week so we can all just get on with our lives (& transfers?)

Before I could find the time to embark on a summer assessment along came the blog entry to end all summer blog entries. It was written by @Yankeegunner and you can read it at
http://yankeegunnerblog.wordpress.com/2011/08/03/the-summer-of-our-discontent/

It says everything I wanted to but better. It's how all us non booing Gooners feel. It says it all so I'll shut up and let you read that.

However, before I go I must supply you with a little treat. This week my son has attended a soccer school. We are away on holiday and you must remember that this was the only school available. Had The Arsenal been here we would use them but they weren't. Chelsea, however, were and I sent my boy into enemy territory donned in full Arsenal kit every day. I did my best with the banter but as the Chavs are statistically (if not morally) better than us I was in very thin ice on very hot days. My best line was,

'We got a packed lunch, shin pads & boots. Do you supply the air rifle?'

I did my best. Anyway, the course is now over and as a memento they gave a boy in the famous dark blue/light blue of the Arsenal (there it is again for @YankeeGunner) Chavscum wristbands! What to do with them? A quick twitter poll soon gave me the answer and it involved fire!

While others produce in depth analysis on our hopes & dreams I supply you with a video of chavscum stuff burning to an Arsenal classic. I've found my level. Enjoy!

- Posted using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

Come and get me plea

2011-07-27T17:07:00.005+01:00

Terry Neill was the first. How he could ignore the way I floated the freekick towards the shed (Frank Stapleton) and the supreme finish into the homemade goal as it rebounded (headed down superbly by Frank) back to me has remained a mystery to this day. It was a move of immense skill. Firstly, the ball had to hit the wooden part of the shed to receive enough purchase to execute the perfect half volley. An inch higher and it wolloped the window. Frank couldn't head it back if it hit the window. Frank's head might smash. The wrath of dad would curtail this promising career if the window was hit. Every free kick was a risk.

The pressure didn't end there. The shot had to be perfect if it was to beat the goalie (garden chair) and sail into the top corner. An inch higher and it would smash into the runner beans (The North Bank) and Arsenal's number 9 would be sent to his room. I never missed! The ball rustled the net and I wheeled away doing my best 'Alan Sunderland 1979 FA cup final up yours Man Utd last minute winner' impression. It was only a matter of time. The Arsenal sign kids from back gardens don't they?

Don Howe was no better. George didn't want to know. Too busy winning stuff. Bruce seemed more interested in Bergkamp than me. Arsene? Enough is enough. This is an official 'come and get me' plea.

After my extraordinary goalscoring feats with Frank I moved onto the wing. I'd teach Theo a thing or two about pace and could drop a cross onto a golf tee. 60% of the game is in your head. My percentages are higher than that and Arsene loves a high stat.

I'm older now than I've ever been but I still feel I could do a job. As I've piled on the experience I've moved to central defence. I'm you man. I have Arsenal DNA in its purest form. If you need proof just see how many Arsenal kits my son has spent his birthday and Christmas money on. He has it too. I see myself fulfilling that Stepanovs/Silvestre/Squillaci role that Arsene is so keen on. I'll do it for £30 & a foot long hot dog for my boy. Not only would the club save money but I promise to jump at corners. I promise.

Injury wise I'm knackered. Hamstrings tight, dodgy right knee and a back that enjoys supplying me with jip. Still fitter than Diaby.

I also feel my attitude would complement the squad. I wouldn't make much fuss but I do have a small list of unreasonable demands. I'm happy to discuss these with the unreasonable demands department once they have passed Samir onto the Greedy Bastard Dept.

Firstly I can't really do away games. I have a family and I can't be away that long. Also I'm not wearing that ghastly blue thing Nike have forced on us. Europen away games are even more problematic. I'm afraid I'll have to pull a Dennis on those. I'm sure I can defend set pieces watching on the TV as well as the boys who are actually there.

So Arsene, I'm experienced, fitter than one member of the squad, can run further than Arshavin, jump higher than Squillaci, cheaper than Nasri and promise never to go to Barcelona. Not even on holiday. We can't leave the defence how it is if we are serious. The pre-season games have already proved what we already know. Come and get me Arsene. I, like everyone else reading this, still believe our childhood dream. If not me, Arsene, then who? We need to know.

- Posted using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

The post with no name.

2011-06-17T18:40:00.001+01:00

I cleared away the cobwebs and found my blog. It had curled up and was hibernating in a shoe box in straw. Wake up!

No! You've got nothing to say. Leave me alone until August.

Nothing to say? How very date you. It's a massive day. It's fixture day which means after weeks and weeks of nothing we finally have some concrete Arsenal news. We have something to say. Not much but something.

So, like people waiting for important news we crowded around out electronic devices to find out our opening (& birthday) game. Newcastle and Bolton thanks for asking. So August sees The Geordies, Liverpool & Man U in the league and a massive two goes at qualifying for the £££££ league proper bit. August will now be known as 'a shit of a month' in our house and it should be in your's too.

Anyway, an early crack at the bigger boys might not be such a bad thing. In August we surely can't be hit by injuries (Diaby aside) and they can't be tired. By the end of August we will have a good idea of how good we are.

The other end of the season sees the famous 'easy' run in and we know how that ends don't we? I'd rather play Man U, Chavscum (North & South), Twatingham, Barcelona, Brazil & the Harlem Globetrotters than have an 'easy' end to the season.

The ins and outs have been uninteresting so far. We've signed another teen. A great prospect but not the defender we desperately need. We've been linked with everyone. Defoe? (Defoe!!) Bramble? (my favourite story ever! Bramble!!!) Samba? (he's in London!!!) Cahill? Ricky Gervais? Honda? John? Paul? George? Ringo? But so far nothing. They need to time it right or Twitter may just melt.

In other summer news Nasri is doing a Rooney and some of us are going off him a bit. Cesc is saying all the right things to cover himself if he goes or stays. I've paid for our season tickets and my son is doing football training, as I write, proudly sporting his new kit. We will be eating Internet bought second hand mince for months.

The quadruple is still on.

Right blog, get back in your box.

- Posted using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

A Qualified Success?

2011-05-23T19:46:00.001+01:00

So we've reached that point again where we are drenched in disappointment, facing weeks and weeks of footballessness. Waiting like little children on Christmas eve for the tiniest evidence of the man in red'n'white to deliver us a nice surprise. It's all we have during the summer. Father Arsene, fill our stockings with new goodies (some of which we've heard of) and a new summer metaphore that doesn't revolve around Christmas would be nice too! I've started badly. Mental strength ..... Turn it round son.

So our season ended with our only pleasures being the pains of others. Yesterday was hugely enjoyable & exciting. Mainly due to my decision to not chase the stream and just sit in front of the telly flicking between the teams in trouble. Most of us were sad to see Blackpool go (as they gave us 6 points) while all of us were delighted to see Birmingham disappear. Eduardo, Carling Cup, awful chants about an ankle, we were united in our joy. That bloody team seem to mess us up every year. Well next year they can derail Doncaster's season for a change.

But there you have it. A shred of pleasure born out of a grudge isn't really enough is it? We know things must change this summer. However, this is not a new feeling. Indeed, the chap from Eastlower just tweeted his final blog from this time last year and it's all still relevant, too relevant. Do we learn? The evidence suggests otherwise. Finding new thing to say about this team is harder than keeping a superinjunction quiet. Same old same old and I'm not going over it here for fear of sounding as boring as Jamie Redknapp. He loves to state the bleeding obvious so just as him.

The Fulham game passed me by somewhat. I followed it on twitter as I watched the shit try to stay afloat. I'm glad we didn't lose. In fact I like to think of us on an unbeaten run of 1 now. It's something to build on. A meaningless draw seemed apt though. We defended badly, scored a couple of good goals and exited stage left to cheers of 'spend some f**king money.' Apparently some of the squad misunderstood and immediately bought two cars and a shag pad in Hampstead each.

So how will we look back in this season? It's never really got past the 'OK' stage has it? Home games have been a bit of a trial. Chavs, Barca & Man U were the only real high points. The rest have been very hit and (quite alot) miss. We've been introduced to the phrase 'Mental Strength' and it won the coveted 'most inappropriate use of a phrase' award for 12 weeks running. Who says we can't win anything?

We've had it confirmed that whoever is running the club doesn't know his Arsenal from his elbow. 6.5% rise in season tickets announced during a run of form that made West Ham blush was extraordinary. Telling us we can watch a film about a wonderful championship winning night (I forget it's name) on the pitch seemed to rub salt in. And yesterday, as the team waited to be put out of it's misery our captain was given the day off to go and watch driving in Spain. One game left and the club captain wasn't there. I'm not blaming Cesc at all. I'm sick of watching that rubbish too but whoever thought it was a clever thing to do wants to be introduced to the underside of Paul Scholes boots. It might not matter but it's the kind of thing that rubs fans up the wrong way. Tony Adams never missed a game unless he was in prison! Poor decision by the club.

We have learned that we never learn. Same mistakes every game suggest the coaching is off or the players are stupid. It's a worry. Conceding from a set piece became as inevitable as a Flavor Flav track on a Public Enemy album. You know it's going to happen, you just want to get it over with & it's never a pleasure. 4-5-1 is a joke. (If you know nothing of Public Enemy that will do nuttin' for ya man. If you do this is the best bit!)

I've learned that The Arsenal have driven me to mild madness. This very blog made me write like a 6 year old (my most viewed work - I think I've found my style) and calling for an 80s singer to be in charge of transfers. Who amongst us doesn't want a so macho central defender?

So things must change. We have qualified for the right to qualify for the ££££ league and that is a massive challenge. We may well get Chigley from Trumptonshire but imagine the kerfuffle if what needs to be done isn't done and we mess that game up. Season over before it starts. Talk about hitting the ground running! Yes that means you too Arshavin.

Anyway, it's the summer break now and all we can do is hope for Arsene to do what needs doing. Decent signings will restore our hope and relationship with the club. They lost our faith and it was depressing to see the in fighting and hearing the boos. It was not a good season but remember our disappointment at finishing 4th was the spuds joy last time. I do think we've gone backwards a bit. We certainly aren't a better team & the 'young team' nonsense Arsene spouts won't wash any longer. And that post Milk Cup collapse was something else. If we change only one thing it's got to be 'stop bloody sulking when you lose.' Get over it and win your next game. Bolton did it after a horrific FA Cup semi final result against, you guessed it, us. There is no shame in losing. It's how you respond that sets you apart.

It's a massive summer for the club and an even bigger season ahead. We may not win a pot next year but the club needs to be seen to match their perceived ambition. They need to win the fans back. The start is crucial. None of your losing at home to WBA if you don't mind.

So enjoy the weeks off. No more stress or worry brought about by young millionaires who don't know you from (Tony) Adam(s). August will be here before we know it and the emotions will return. It's the purest of theatre and that's why we love it.

Thanks to everyone who reads my unconscious stream of nonsense. Some of you even seem to enjoy it & make sense of it. There are a million & one blogs out there and I really appreciate you spending/wasting your time on mine.

Up The Gunners.

- Posted using BlogPress from an iTelephone.

Thank Bergkamp that's all over.

2011-05-15T16:41:00.001+01:00

Right, got a new app on the mobile so might try to blog as we go. This might be rubbish but thought I'd try something new. Please excuse any spelling mistakes.

We arrived at the ground nice and early today. I fancied a 'Champions League Qualifier 2011-12' T-Shirt but couldn't find one anywhere. Must've sold out. There is a funny atmosphere in the ground. A large cheer went up when Newcastle scored like it meant something. For a brief moment it did as their lovely owner sat with his head in his hands. Oh for a home draw against Newcastle!

I've got end of season fever. Having said I'd stop buying programmes to counteract the price rises I immediately bought a programme, a Gooner and a copy of 'up the Arse.' The sellers always look quite disappointed when you don't actually say,
"one up the arse please mate!"
I resisted. I'm a slow reader. That should keep me busy until August.

As I write this I'm watching Pires warming up in another's colours. He's still rather, as Arseblog would put it, dreamy. I wish he was warming our bench.

The teams are out. I'll add some more at half time (or sooner if it's crap!)

20 minutes and all I can say is,
"Squillaci????"
I used to go to a record shop called Our Price and they always had a fantasic amount of records and CDs in their bargain bin. It was exciting. More records for your money. However, when you got there it was all Black Lace & Jive Bunny. There was never any Duran Duran or Adam & The Ants. If you shop in the bargain bin you get Jive Squillaci not Adams and the Ants.

My son is now facing away from the pitch. He says it's a better view. Club have just told me it's £10 extra to not watch.

It's going to take a lot of mental strength to watch this crap today.

To be continued.....

......home now. The second half was marginally better than the first but I didn't have the heart to blog. I think I may have almost run out of stuff to say. It's depressing when you see players in Arsenal shirts who are clearly not good enough. I even feel sorry for them. Squillaci, for example, is just no good. It's not his fault and for a lesser club he may well do a job but to see him sauntering about like he is in the park walking his dogs makes me angry. Is it a sign of the quality we can afford? If we are shopping at Squillacis'r'us then we are buggered. The only nice bit of today was the return of TV or the proper defender as he is known.

The club are making a big deal about the 125 anniversary and why not if it sells shirts and keyrings. However, in tribute to the founding fathers in that south London public house we have started playing like a 125 year old pub side. Stop it & stop it now.

The lap of appreciation was an uncomfortable few minutes. The players walked quite a long way from the fans and most clapped us. It was a mixture of boos and clapping. In fact more clapping than I'd expected. The stadium was only about a third full by then so I think most of the booers had gone to the pub. Rumours that Arshavin didn't make it right round the pitch are false!

By the end I was losing my mind. I tweeted that today could only get worse if Eboue ran on dressed as Sinitta and sang So Macho. It would've been more entertaining than the nonsense served up by our heroes but depressing as I'm not sure Eboue has the legs to pull off her skimpy outfits. However, if you look at the lyrics it spookily lists the characteristics we are lacking.

I don't want no seven stone weakling
Or a boy who thinks he's a girl
I'm after a hunk of a guy
An experienced man of the world
There ain't no way that I'll make do
With anything less than I'm used to
If I have a man tonight
He's gotta be right, right, right

Somebody put Sinitta in charge of transfers. She wouldn't sign Squillaci!

- Posted using BlogPress from an itelephonic device

What did you do at the weekend?

2011-05-09T16:36:00.005+01:00

Our Weekend News May 9th 2011

At last the holidays have started. We've had to do two hours work everyday for ages now and they only give us thousands of pounds a week to do it. The boys have been told by the club that we have got into that thing where we play clubs with funny names and we can have a few weeks off.

The boss took us to Stoke yesterday. We wanted a trip to the seaside but at least there was a nice river. We went to Britannia for lunch. The boys were laughing saying they thought John Terry had probably had Britannia. Oh we are naughty.

Anyway we were all set for a nice relaxing afternoon in the sun when these bigger boys came and asked if we wanted to play football. Robin was up for it but nobody else really wanted to. Eventually Robin, Jack & Aaron persuaded us. The bigger boys explained they need some practise as they were going to try and win a trophy next week. We didn't understand until Cesc explained what a trophy was. Cesc had even held one once. That's why he is always in charge. He's so cool.

Andrey was in a right mood. He hardly ever wants to play. He got cross and pushed a much bigger boy over. That was brave as Andrey is only little. They kicked the ball towards our goal. It was very funny because we all stood still and the ball hit one if their boys quite hard on the leg. It looked like it hurt but he was happy because he scored a goal. We put out tallest boy in goal and he didn't catch it because his gloves are new and he didn't want to ruin them on the first day he got them.

We couldn't stop laughing at the bigger boys. We kept standing still so they could score and they were so happy when they did. Couldn't they tell we were taking the mick out of them? Robin scored a goal for us but then he is so competitive sometimes. Most of us can't understand it.

Some of the bigger boys said we could be quite good if we tried a bit harder. One said we were quite close to success. We all laughed as it's 207 miles to Manchester and that's not very close at all.

It was a fun game. We wanted to take them on at rounders but they all had to go home as their mums were waiting for them outside which was a shame. Some of the lads heard that lots of people had paid a lot of money to watch us play the bigger boys which seemed odd. Why would anyone pay money to watch that?

Anyway we are back at our hotel now. Very posh, none of your Premier Inn for us. We will put some pictures on Twitter so you can see how much fun we are having.

Wish you were here..... Oh some of you were! Sorry about that.

The Arsenal Squad xx

And Now You're Gonna Believe Us!

2011-05-01T18:55:00.004+01:00

Arsenal! How I love you so but why oh why do you do this to me? Victories against the Manc vermin are few and far between and you give us a bittersweet one. There was no singing and dancing in the street. All wins are nice especially against that lot but two months of utter crap diluted the feelings we should've all had at the final whistle.

As we went through the turnstile I said to the steward handling my sandwich that I thought we would probably win today as that would be typical inconsistent Arsenal. Apparently it was a popular view. Had we twigged the great Arsenal paradox we could've made a killing at the bookies. Man U riding high at the top with one foot in the £££££££ league final while Arsenal watch corners like children watch fireworks (in amazement with our mouths open!)The law of Sod predicted an Arsenal victory today.

People in the ground seemed a bit flat, disappointed that we were an extra rather than a player in the title race today. Nobody bounced out of bed today thinking 'big game, massive game, make or break game.' The oddest thing is that the team didn't show that at all. So many times this season we have looked lethargic and uncaring but not today. Cesc was left out which flattened our mood further. I've pulled my hamstring and made it to the upper tier (mental strength) yet Cesc couldn't play with a slight knock (poor show!)

The fact Cesc wasn't there confuses the issue more. He is our captain, our leader, our world class world cup winner yet the team didn't miss him one bit. From the off we were at Utd. We didn't let the settle, hustled them, won the ball back. Hell, we even defended from the front. That was a team playing with spirit and passion. There was even a little bit of fist pumping!

It was up there with the two other truly great performances this season against the chavs and Barcelona at home. These three games are what Arsene is banging on about. Talk about mental strength all you like after these games. Do not mention it when you've folded up for the umpteenth time. It annoys us!

I tweeted after the game that I felt a bit depressed by that as it just goes to prove that Arsene was right all along and we are good enough to win the league and we have chucked it away again. People told me to just enjoy the win and I am. It was marvellous but you know what I mean. If we showed even half the desire in even half those awful games we drew they would be wins and we would be Champions. Simple!

I was shocked by how crap man u are. Are they really better than us? How are they on for the title and £££££££ league? They will be the shittest champions ever and we will have less points than them. Depressing!

Now do we celebrate St Totteringham's day yet? They are 12 points behind with 4 games left to play but will have to make up the 27 goals we have on them to go above us. They are crap and have no chance so I think we can keep the bunting up for that little knees-up. And I believe at the start of the season the Spuds were convinced this was their year (it does end in 1) to finally finish above us. Ha ha ha ha and if you will ha!

So where do we go from here? I hope Arsene doesn't hide behind this result and say 'I told you so.' Playing and beating Man u in a meaningless (for us) game is one thing but it's (as they used to say) the wet Wednesday's in Wigan that win you the league and we need some experienced boys in to help on days like that. Maybe we just play better when the pressure's off. The last two months seem to confirm it. However, you're only supposed to be as good as your last game and we just played man u off the pitch and Ramsey scored the winner. Sod your trophies! That'll do nicely for now.

Up The Gunners

Is It A Bird? A Plane? NO! It's a CORNER!

2011-04-25T22:27:00.006+01:00

I wasn't going to bother to write a blog following the debacle at the Reebok. What's the point I thought. I have nothing left to say about this side that I, and a million other bloggers, haven't said on numerous occasions this season.

......blah blah......no leaders.......blah blah...................tippy tappy...........blah..........SHOOOOT!.........corners are STILL a surprise........blah blah..............need experience.................blah blah...................when will they learn?...........blah.......Blah....BLAH BLAH BLOODY BLAH!

The frustration we feel is because of the potential we see before us. Many Arsenal fans have thought it's the hope that kills us. Sometimes I wish we were just shit. It might be easier to take! Imagine if Almunia was the best keeper we had. Imagine if Igor Stepanovs was our best defender while Jimmy Carter was our most creative midfielder. Imagine if our strongest front two were Chris Kiwomya and Lee Chapman. Imagine if David O'Leary was manager! We would finish 13th because we would be shit. This team and squad and manager are not shit. Arsene has hit perfection before and he can again. The players are not half-arsed journeymen. They are highly trained internationals who know what they are doing so why do they hide it so well?. So why oh bloody why can't they defend corners? Why can't they shoot? Why can't they defend 2 goal leads or 4 goal leads? Why can't they beat a poor Birmingham side in a cup final? Why can't they? WHY?

However, we will qualify for the group stages of the £££££££ league and that's the measure of success now. The board will go through the motions of trophy talk but they believe that a potless 3rd is a lot more valuable than a domestic cup double and 5th. Old ground!

Also remember how every pundit had written us off before the season started. Spuds and man c were guaranteed to finish above us. 'arry's a genius and the scarf wearing twat was chucking money away of players nobody wanted. £££££££ League? They were having a laugh. Haven't we done well pundits?

Anyway, this season has crashed to a pathetic halt against a team that crapped itself at Wembley. Staggering. We now find ourselves in a position where if we lose to man u (likely) we hand them the title or if we beat them (likely too!) we let Chavscum (south) in. Dog poo sandwich of a dog turd sandwich anyone?

Remember we are financially sound and we have an enormous amount of mental strength to fall back on. I'm going to camp out all night to get a good view of the open top bus parade. The players are going to drive the bus using only the power of their minds while Silent Stan holds aloft a bank statement. We are the envy of other clubs. Trophies are so last year (or the year before that or even before that. It's been so long I forget.)

I don't want Arsene out. I won't entertain the thought. We know what he can do and I hope he does it again. Remember Allardyce is looking for a job. Be careful what you wish for. We need big changes but not that BIG!

That's more than enough.

End of My Tether

2011-04-20T23:05:00.004+01:00

When I started this blogging nonsense The Man from Eastlower gave me one piece of advice. Never blog straight after a game when you are cross. I'm going to ignore that advice! I'm not cross. I'm furious. My fury is not really isolated to tonight's game. Week in week out this side has been pushing me closer to the edge, further along, and tonight I think the end of the tether has been reached. I've had enough.

Tonight's game was a classic. Two teams playing at the top of their game but I only care about one team. I thought we played well. Better than for a long time. We looked full of desire and that cannot be faulted. However, yet again we squandered another lead and that's why it's hard to accept.

Defensively we are shit. There is no other word for it. We have twice let two goal leads slip to the spuds this season because we are clueless. Defending should start at the front yet ours doesn't even start at the back. We can argue all night long about whether the spuds goals were great undefendable goals or not but it doesn't change the fact that at 3-1 up away from home you should be able to shut up shop. Moments after the penalty they carved us open on the other side and we were lucky not to go 4-3 down. SZEZ balls saved another late on.

I'm reading Paul Merson's book at the moment and I've just read that in 1991 The Arsenal could get a battering, Ian Wright would break away and score and the opposition's heads would drop as they knew Dixon, Winterburn, Adams and Bould would shut up shop protected by the midfield. It's not a new idea is it? Defending a lead to win a game? When we score now the opposition don't think they have no chance. They know we panic and they go for it and usually score themselves. Get Steve Bould away from the Under 18s and get him in to teach us how to bloody defend properly.

The title was there for the taking but as it stands we have slipped to 3rd and the FA have asked our players to present Man U with the trophy on a bloody big plate. Man U are average at best and yet we can't pull ourselves above that. 8 points from the last 18 is crap and the fact Man U aren't out of reach by now proves they are nothing special.

I really don't know what else to say. The same old problems are there. I could just cut and paste the same blog every week. We have blown it. It was in our hands and now we are 3rd. You lose the right to draw away if you get 3 draws at home on the spin so I'd say a draw tonight having been 3-1 up is rubbish.

There, never write a blog when you're cross (or furious!)

Don't Blame It On The Sunshine.....

2011-04-17T19:32:00.013+01:00

....Blame it on Ferguson. Why do we let that man into our ground? Somehow he is able to impose Fergie Time onto games that his horrid little team aren't even playing in. He uses his Jedi Mind Tricks to turn 8 minutes into 11 and make Eboue lose his head in the box. It seems staggering a team can go 1-0 up in the 98th minute and somehow not win. Remember this team can lead 4-0 at half time away and not win or lead 2-0 at home against their biggest local rival and lose. Nothing surprises us Gooners anymore.

I do have some sympathy for Arsene about his gripe about the extra 3 minutes in the extra 8 minutes. However, had the team not twatted about for the previous hour and a half then the 99th, 100th and 101th minutes wouldn't be an issue. It really was more of the same. It's odd really that after a season of awful defending it's our inability to score more than 1 goal at home in 3 matches against beatable opposition that has really finished us off. Even the most positive of Gooners must see now that the dream is over and we must fight hard for 2nd place. What's so frustrating is Man U are nothing special and the title was there for the taking. Man U will be Champions by virtue of being the least shit of us all.

Another frustration is it's another game we dominated from beginning to end and failed to win. Liverpool seemed to hardly have a kick as they ran around injuring themselves. At the end they had players on that made our boys seem middle-aged and yet we still couldn't break them down. They broke the FIFA guidelines on how many ponytails are allowed on the pitch at any one time and they had a bloke called Jonjo which is not even an acceptable name for a dog. His brother Bingo and his sister Banjo were, however, proud of his performance. It's all so predictable and we are often accused of having no plan B. Sometimes I'm not sure we even have a plan A as tippy tappying the ball about looking for the perfect opening surely can't be a plan. Can it?

Our breakthrough came when the ref gave us a penalty in the 98th minute. I like penalties as they force us to shoot. Can't tippy tap a penalty around the team before letting it roll out for a goal kick. Nobody show the team the video below. If it's good enough for Henry and Pires......

Anyway, RVP took a splendid penalty and we were home and dry. Well any other club would be. Ferguson's mind control over the ref let Liverpool attack & get a free kick. It turned Eboue into a defender with the touch of Gunnersaurus who fell on top of a scouser and they equalised in the 2nd minute of our next match.

Collapsing comically is now apparently known as 'doing an Arsenal' and who can argue. Dogs roaming parks without owners are 'doing an Arsenal' (lost their lead!) Gooners are no longer given babies or freshly born lambs as we can't hold onto anything. Arsene said after the game we have to bounce back. What? Again? We are starting to make Tigger look lethargic.

I'm not expecting massive changes in the transfer policy now Silent Stan is in charge but we need to freshen up this side. Every game we fail in is a game nearer to the heart of the team, or Cesc as we know him, leaving. His frustration must be at boiling point. I don't think it would take much but I do think it's time to buy some experience. A player to match the signing of David Platt when he came to us in 1995. A 'been there, done that' player. 88 appearances and 13 goals later he was gone with honours in his back pocket. We need a Plattesque signing or two. That won't kill any younger players. It will make them better, stronger winners. They must all be sick of being the bridesmaids that are promised a shag but eventually don't even get a peck on the cheek.

Onwards to the place that 50 years ago today celebrated their last league title. 50 years! And we are moaning about being 2nd!

Rest in Peace the 96 who went to football, just like you and I do every week, but never went home.

Rest in Peace Danny Fiszman. A true Arsenal gentleman to the end. I hope his vision of where The Arsenal are going can continue in his honour.

Eboue Do Like to Be Beside The Seaside

2011-04-10T23:21:00.004+01:00

Well that's more like it. It seems a very long time ago The Arsenal actually won a game they were supposed to win. I must admit being slightly nervous after the last few weeks so it was a nice surprise not having a surprise as far as the result went.

However, there was a surprise in goal as the keeper soap opera took another shocking turn. Rumours Jens buried Alunia up to his neck on Blackpool beach have not been confirmed. The tide is coming in or has it just turned. It didn't take him long to get his spot back and I'm happy to see him there. Apart from Torres has any player dropped in form more quickly than Almunia? His confidence is on it's arse. He is no longer a mistake waiting to happen. He is just a mistake. I feel for him. I really do. He seems like a very nice bloke but maybe too sensitive to take the flack. He looks permanently worried which doesn't help. His time is up and it might sound mad but I think we'd be mad not to stick with Mad Jens.

Blackpool started well but we weathered that and scored an embarrassingly easy goal as the orange back four played musical statues as Diaby strolled in to score. He may have been out in the party game but we were 1-0 up. Never been totally convinced by Diaby. Sometimes you want to shake him to wake up the obvious talent that sleeps through most games but today he looked alive. Without thrusting unfair comparisons upon him he looked, on occasion, Vieiraesque!

The second was a joy too. Eboue, Tinkerbell, Gunnersaurus, call him what you will, scored a cracker. He stormed into the box and unleashed one past Kingston. 2-0 and only 5 goals away from relaxing. Of course we would concede and we were lucky to as well. Had Blackpool not scored I fear RVP would've been facing a penalty. As it was Lee Mason made a good shout and allowed play to continue despite fouls by Jack and Jens. Blackpool scored, Jack was booked, Jens was let off and we all started to worry. Mason let us play on when Blackpool should've had a penalty and soon after that a superb (Yes! You heard right) tackle by Squillaci led to more Capt Pat impersonations by Diaby as Theo raced on to a long ball allowing RVP to win us the game. Lovely stuff and a reminder of The Arsenal we have all lamented over the last few weeks.

Half way through the first half I tweeted, 'A huge shadow looms over our defence' to which I had a mixed response. There was literally a huge shadow from the stadium covering our penalty area. I was trying to be ironic or sarcastic or something but my goodness you do get some precious responses to perceived criticism. Well done to all that got it. You win a biscuit of your choice.

Right, it's late and I'm on holiday so a bit out of it but I must mention the imminent take over of our wonderful club by Stan Kroenke. I'm not sure what to make of it yet. Maybe I should quote Colin Murray on MOTD2 and say, 'We're not sure what it means so we'll just move on!' I hope it means things won't change a great deal. Things are going OK. I know we all get frustrated by no trophies but we need some perspective. The club sees success as Champions League qualification. Any cups that come our way are a bonus. Fans see cups first but finishing top 4 is the only measure of success now. The domestic cups just are not 'worth' (in financial terms) winning. It's a crying shame but it's the truth. If we won the domestic cup double as we did in 1993 but finished 5th or worse then that would be a disaster. Finish empty handed and 4th and we are successful. Don't blame the club. Blame the Champions League. We need that money more than a trip to Wembley or even the title. By saying I want Kroenke to keep things as they are is not a negative statement. Of course I want to see Cesc lift a pot but we as fans need to change our ideas about success today. The Champions League moved the goal posts out of the stadium and across the road. It's become vital and teams like the spuds have already said they may have to sell if they don't get top 4. Arsene has delivered that every year and a new stadium too. I don't want massive money signings with dodgy money. I want Jacks to come through the ranks. I want Ramseys to be nurtured. I want things done the Arsenal way. Stan remember that (or you can forget about getting your hands on my 1/100th of a share!)

Wengerists

2011-04-03T16:21:00.009+01:00

At no point yesterday did I feel angry or surprised at the teams total lack of drive or urgency. I've slowly lost faith in this side and have been boring Mrs Feverpitch and Son of Feverpitch all season with my 'I'm not sure they are any good' comments. By that I mean special and to win the league you need that special something. We are second so we are not that bad but we are not special. Anyone who's been lucky enough to see us win league titles will know what I mean.

To win a cup you need luck of the draw and performances on the day. Winning the FA Cup or, dare I say it, the Milk Cup does not make you a special side. Winning the league does. Man U this season are not a great team but what they did yesterday smacks of winners. I'm not sure we have that in us. We are more likely to give a 2 goal lead away (or even a 4 goal lead!)

The most frustrating thing is we obviously have the quality and we are beating ourselves. Every time we get down the wing a cross is lumped into the box to nobody. Everyone is so interested in passing that shooting is seen as an opportunity to give away possession. Yesterday was appalling and it followed Sunderland at home which was appalling too. Since sneaking past Stoke on Feb 23rd we have only beaten Orient. Champions anyone?

The staggering thing about a team that has lost at home to WBA, Newcastle and the spuds is that at 5.30pm yesterday the league title was in our own hands. That's how special Man U are. Yet we tossed it away like John Terry and friendship. I feel lower than the ratings of a Katie Price TV show about yesterday and yet I wasn't surprised. I got criticised on Twitter yesterday when I wrote,

'Maybe we should let Blackburn score, get it out the way and show 'character' by snatching a draw.'

I was accused of being cynical! Oh yes! Well I pay an awful lot of money to watch millionaires not give a shit so I'm allowed a bit of cynicism. I didn't boo at the end but I understand the people who did. I was too bored to boo. I'd been beaten down by another lethargic home display. The highlight of the day was that I can walk home although it was more like a trudge home as we tried to work out why these men don't want prizes.

Almunia is no longer a mistake waiting to happen. He's happened. As someone said on twitter 'Almunia's done an Almunia.' Enough said.

Things need to change in the summer. I'm not saying Arsene's time is done as I'm firmly on his side. Apparently fans were physically fighting each other over this in the ground yesterday. We have our own civil war on our hands. I'm on the Wengerists side and we will defeat you with our beautiful attacking formations but if you attack us we may well crumble. It might be too late to win back the AntiArsene Brigade but what the Boss has done for the club as a whole cannot be so easily forgotten. We might not get pots, bottling it might be called 'doing an Arsenal', we might not have a statue to Michael Jackson but look where the club is now in the world compared to say, the spuds. The finances are strong,the future's bright and we must not forget that.

Having said all that we do all live in the now and at the moment I've lost faith in this squad. We need an injection of fresh players. We need to stop all these bargain buys as nothing special has ever been found in Lidl. Since the Carling Cup final can any of us really say we've looked like champions? We just need to play out the season and make sure we get 2nd. We need to get rid of the pointless players and bring in some hungry winners. People who don't walk about the pitch. People who will get furious when things go wrong. We need leaders across the pitch. We need strength and power. We need more players with the Rocastle mentality. More players like Jack.

I grew up having to watch Liverpool dominate everything and I remember Souness saying what made them great was that if a team wanted to play they would play them off the pitch and if they wanted to fight they would fight them to defeat. Special.

Oh Rocky Rocky

2011-03-30T19:37:00.002+01:00

Ten years ago The Arsenal lost a true legend. If you were lucky enough to see David Rocastle play then he was your favourite player of that era.
He was a special talent. He felt like one of us. He hopped over the advertising boards and played with the passion that you or I would if only that dream had come true. He was enormously talented on the ball. I can still see those winding runs across the Highbury turf. Things happened when he had the ball. He scored goals. That goal at Aston Villa! Anfield! Middlesbrough! That goal at Tottenham in the Littlewoods Semi-final! "And it's Arsenal through to Wembley!"

He could also look after himself. He took no crap. He epitomised that 'all for one' attitude that snatched the Littlewoods Cup in '87 and the big one at Anfield in 1989.

I remember Rocky breaking his fingers in a Makita tournament match and the ref not allowing him to receive treatment. Gary Lewin took one step onto the pitch and dragged him off by the ankles. Rocky played with taped up fingers for a while after that.

On the day Rocky died The Arsenal were at home to Tottenham. Robert Pires was wearing Rocky's number 7 shirt and scored a goal in the second half. A goal that did Rocky proud. The ultimate tribute from on high.

It was a tragedy when he died in 2001. We, as fans, lost one of our own but that's not the tragedy. He was a young man with a wife and children. The fact he cannot be an honoured guest pales into insignificance when you consider his 'other' real family. The same happened to my wife at the same age as Ryan, Rocky's son. He was more than a true Arsenal legend. He was a husband and a dad & was taken too soon.

Rocky, my first favourite player, thanks for the marvellous memories. Always remembered. It was an honour to watch you.

Almunia Will Probably Drop Our Game In Hand

2011-03-20T16:26:00.003Z

Liverpool
Sunderland
West Brom
Chelsea
Newcastle
Spuds
Man Utd
Wigan
Man City
Newcastle (again)
Sunderland (again)
West Brom (again)

That little list up there is a little list of all the teams we have dropped points to this season. You can read into that what you will but with the odd exception it's a poor list. The last 3 entries depress me the most. Basically we haven't been able to beat Newcastle, Sunderland or West Brom all season. Best squad ever?

Maybe I should've left this blog. I'm not in the mood (just a mood.) Let me state clearly how I feel. We will not win the league this season. Feel free to disagree. Feel free to wear the positive trousers and I would love you to be right but my gut feeling is we are more likely to finish 3rd or 4th than we are 2nd or 1st.

The FA Cup defeat left me utterly deflated. Man U were there for the taking and we limped out without excitement. We may well have had more shots at old scumford than any known team before us but we got nil and they got two. With that still weighing me down I wasn't looking forward to WBA away. I went with my son to Chesham to see Cambridge City. A top of the table clash to take my mind off The Arsenal. I thought I'd try and ignore the phone for half an hour. Let The Arsenal get ahead and all would be will. 3:02pm and the phone buzzes. I'd forgotten about the Sportacular alerts. Come on Bolton! Please be Bolton!

Latest
WBA 1 Arsenal 0
It's 2 bloody minutes past 3!

The Chesham v Cambridge game was awful. City were a goal down to an own goal. The Arsenal were a goal down due to the fact that corners still surprise the team. They seem to think that if they all stand still it might somehow go away. It's happened all season. It happened at Wembley. It happened yesterday. Will they never bloody learn. We may well win the league if we don't conceed another corner.

As Cambridge played worse and worse I seemed to be checking Twitter more and more until a deluge of swearing greeted WBA's second. GET BACK IN YOUR GOAL ALMUNIA was the cleanest and told me everything. I couldn't bring myself to watch that goal until this morning and that's only because Sky Sports News were laughing about it as I went into our living room. I've seen it once. I tweeted that Almunia and Squillaci looked like an elderly couple lost in a massive shopping centre car park. Some told me that was unfair on Squillaci but surely he need to be stronger there. Old git mode - Tony Adams would've cleared that! He seemed to turn like a battleship as Almunia charged out like a child out of an open door when the rain had stopped. It was Almunia's fault. He's hopeless. We may just win the league if no team lumps a ball forward tempting Almunia to lumber out to it like Katie Price to publicity.

So yet again injuries have done us. We showed character to get a draw? Maybe but where was that character in the first 70 minutes. Another set piece and goalkeepeing cock up. We are going over old ground here. I've been lucky enough to see championships won and they are won by special teams. There's not much special outside our first 11.

Old ground.

Enough.

Welcome Interlull, for the first time ever, I'm glad to see you.

11 Men - 1 Cup

2011-03-12T22:49:00.003Z

And then there was one. The single. The onedruple. We can now officially concentrate on the league. Hands up who's confident. Both my hands are down typing this. Sorry to be negative but I just can't see it. This side has pushed my faith to the limit and broken it. Indeed if anyone would like to keep my faith please do as I can't be trusted not to lose it.

So in the last 2 weeks we surrendered to the second best team in Birmingham in a cup final. We were all set to bounce back after results went our way but could only manage a 0-0 with Sunderland at home. We felt cheated against Barcelona but on reflection we had no shots and only touched the ball twice in their area so not great but we will bounce back again against our bitter rivals in the FA Cup. It's a perfectly arranged fixture. They have injuries and a big Champions League night around the corner. We have a week off. We can go out all guns blazing while they save something for Europe. We name a decent balanced team while they have seven defenders playing. Bounce back Arsenal, show us the desire and mental strength and courage you need to be a success.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why this season is done and dusted instead of won and polished. We had more shots than them! We had more possession than them! We tippy tapped the ball about more than them! They scored 2 more goals than us. Game over. I'm too tired of it to actually pick on players like Diaby. I won't pick on anyone like Diaby. All I'll say is there are one or two who played today, like Diaby, who should give their wages to charity just so they can sleep at night. Jack, however, can keep his money with bells on. I feel sorry for him as he gives everything and keeps ending up on the losing side. He doesn't deserve it and he certainly doesn't need to keep apologising on Twitter.

Today's game was important for so many reasons. We have now given the mancs the upper hand in the league. Their confidence in beating us at our place will be sky high. We needed to return to Wembley as soon as possible to prove we could win there. We needed this win to win over the Wenger doubters. I still won't join that bandwagon as I can see no alternative. Who could we have in his place?

After what I saw today this could be a long post but I'll keep it short. It's late and nobody really enjoys a moany blog so I'll end on this (and feel free to disagree.) I really think we are done. The injuries have killed us again. Djourou's sickeningly painful injury was no surprise. We get one every game. It leaves us with Kos and Squillaci for 10 league matches with Almunia behind them. That's 900 minutes of football where one mistake could be too many. Confident? Cesc is always injured and without him we are average. There, I said it. Average! And that needs addressing in the summer. We need to clear out the dead wood and bring in some winners and leaders. Defenders who can defend and midfielders who pass and move rather than pass and stand like Diaby. We need more than one goalscorer as our best one has at least one big lay off a season. The experiment, Arsene, has failed.

4 then 3 then 2 then 1. What's next?

Ref Off

2011-03-09T18:29:00.003Z

Having declared (or tweeted as it's now known) that I thought West Brom away was our most important game this month I shouldn't feel so annoyed about last night. In the long term it could be a blessing. If Cesc lifts the Premier League trophy high this defeat will mean nothing. The double is still on yet I'm annoyed.

Defeat I can take but it was the manner of it I can't. Don't get me wrong, I'm not moaning about losing. Barcelona are awesome and deserve to go through. Let's not forget we didn't have a shot. We were, however,resolute and strong and I'm proud of them. Yet, despite all their superiority they needed a big helping hand from a clearly biased referee. I'm not blaming him for our defeat at all but we must remember that we were winning this tie before he got his chance to make sure UEFA's chosen one's progressed.

On three occasions Barcelona players raised their hands to our players in front of the ref and nothing was done. RVP shoots one second after the ref blows and is sent off. Staggering! RVP was right to say the ref was a joke. It's near on impossible to play Barcelona with 11 but with 10 he assured them safe passage. I know it's the football fans job to bemoan refs and it is an impossible job but even the biggest Arsenal hating knuckle dragger could see this man was in their pocket. I'm not saying he was showered with used Euro notes or ladies of the night but he was overcome by his own importance, the crowd, the atmosphere and the stature of the game and clearly wasn't up to it. Without the red card we would've probably eventually lost but it would've been a fair loss. Not once have Barcelona beaten our strongest team. Jens sent off, Silvestre in defence, vermaelan out, RVP off. Last night we played 12 v 10 for the last half an hour and that's when they did us. Their winning goal was a penalty. With injuries, sendings off and a bent ref, we lost to the odd goal. That's how much better they are than us.

The way the pundits pleasured themselves to oblivion was sickening too. Get over it. I know Sky would show nothing but Barcelona if they could but please! We know they are good. We know they can pass. Yes, they deserved to win but for a team THAT good they needed a lot of help. Anyway, sky and UEFA are happy as their team are through.

In a way I'm glad we are out. The Champions league is a grotesque competition that only services the corruption of UEFA. What are we even doing in it. What are we champions of? The group stages are a boring money generating farce. Why not go the whole hog and invite the top half of all European leagues to take part in a massive Champions of nothing league. Each group could have 12 teams in it and could go on and on making more and more money for a flabby ruling body. The bottom half of every league could have their own cup of crap. The winners of each tournament could then play each other in a show piece final where there are only 100 tickets available to real fans at a cost of £15,000 and a kidney.

I'm not enjoying this game of 'who's injured now' we play every match either. There must be some kind of curse on the club when your best keeper collects the ball, like he's done thousands of times before, and has to go off injured. We all collectively panicked when Almunia stripped off yet he played really really well. He made some excellent and brave stops and with Szezzer out for a bit we need more of that from him. The talent Arsene sees shone through last night.

As I write this I hear news of UEFA charging Arsene & Nas for inappropriate language! These people are beyond belief. UEFA are a bunch of corrupt scum filled arseholes (appropriate language I think you'll agree.) Ban the snood, charge our boys for naughty words but let 3 Barca players off for throat grabbing. Interesting they aren't charging RVP for calling the ref a joke. Maybe they secretly agree. Unbelievably Egotistical
F*cking Arseholes or UEFA for short.

In a fit of frustration I tweeted @uefacom a picture of that mug Abidal holding RVP firmly by the throat. I politely asked them to clear something up. My son loves football and likes to copy the professional players. I asked them if grabbing a player by the throat is OK as he has a game tonight and he wanted to know if he could do it. He saw a 'top' international ref let 3 Barca players off last night so it must be an acceptable part of the game.

They haven't replied.

I'm going to have to stop now and have a lie down. I really hope we do the mancs on Saturday. Beating them is always a pleasure and it would mean another Wembley trip and we need a win there to prove we can. The double is very much on.

Up the Gunners.

Down With This Kind Of Thing.

2011-03-05T18:10:00.006Z

What a week it's been. Got back from Wembley, having watched The Arsenal put in a lackluster display, and got a bad case of the Dovers or Dermots (depending on what podcast you listen too.) Due to this brief illness I missed the Orient game and felt too ill to blog about it. Too late now as everything has been said. Shame I missed it. It would've been a nice blog, a positive blog, a promising blog about confidence, professionalism and the desire of some of the fringe players. It was the night we needed.

However, miss it I did and am now faced with the task of recording my thoughts on our latest tryst. The silver lining of the chavs somehow beating the mancs was tarnished too quickly. Maybe even mentioning silver is brave as the team seem to come out in a rash just contemplating it. Today was a big one. We are still in for 3 pots and the Premier League is the most realistic and the best. I had high hopes that this team would grasp it and run with it. Instead, the lightly undulating performance at Wembley returned but this time it was totally flat.

We started badly. Sunderland, to their credit, attacked us and the majority of the opening 15 minutes played out nearer the North Bank. A steward at the Clock End was actually asked if he could arrange some football up our end. To get an idea of how we played in the first half sit in silence for a couple of minutes......

.......No Talking!

..........Bored yet? Yes we were.

The second half had to improve and it did. We showed far more but not enough. We had lots of the ball without doing a great deal and, despite hitting the bar, never really looked like a goal would come. The keeper obviously had a good game as they always do but our attacks were predictable and cumbersome. No spark, no RVP. No key, no Cesc.

Throughout the afternoon I was struck by how ordinary we looked. There was no slick passing, movement or pace. This team without Cesc, RVP, Theo, ADSB17 and Vermaelen is ordinary. That's quite a list of quality to be missing and take the equivalent players out of any team and they would struggle too. Maybe we are expecting too much from those that are left. Maybe they are not up to it. The fact is they have to be if this season isn't going the way of so many before. Was it the missing 'stars' or did they have both eyes on the big game on Tuesday. I hope not because that's unforgivable. To cock up today because there is a game they would rather concentrate on would be hard to swallow. If that is the case then they had better go through on Tuesday. They shouldn't be tired as they gave nothing today. My son even suggested a chant of 'You don't even need a shower!'

I apologise for the depression but I've seen this all before. The 'bottling' has begun. Smash the bloody bottle and wake up. You are so close to greatness. Stop running from it. Grasp it, concentrate and things can be achieved. My belief in this team is wearing thin. How a team that's lost a two goal lead to spuds at home to lose, a 4 goal lead at Newcastle to draw, lost at home to Newcastle and WBA can still be in with a shout of the league says a lot about the quality of the team above us. Today was another 'one of those day' that was have too often.

So on to Barcelona and Manchester. It's going to be quite a week. Two important games but probably not as important as today. They need to snap out of this and put us miserable bastards in our place. I'd happily go there if it meant the Premier League was the prize.

Up The Gunners!

A Set Piece, A Goal of the Day & A Cock Up.

2011-02-27T22:39:00.005Z

Another final and another defeat. I didn't want to start this way but we are all thinking it. That's three in a row now. Of course it means nothing but it does add to the fire about The Arsenal bottling it when it matters. The defeats in Cardiff and Paris were depressing. Chavs 'cheated' by playing a stronger first team against our kids while Barcelona just squeaked past our 10 men. I remember leaving Paris with a glow of pride. Not today.

I left the game thinking we were crap. Before I'd reached the car, a spud texted me to say, 'Rubbish! You battered them and lost! Ha ha!' He was right. We didn't batter them but were the better team and had ample opportunities to win it. The second half saw chance after chance converted into goal kicks. It was frustrating.

As I trudged out into the cold, damp Wembley evening it struck me that the goals summed the season up. The set piece - They have a 9 foot monster up front so who should we pay special attention to at corners? Oh too late, he's scored. Our goal (from memory) was a slick build up, a decent shot off the wood (so close but not quite) followed by a neat cross and a smart finish. Goal of the day. The winner - a defensive cock up of enormous proportions. A nothing ball in the box, a fresh air kick, a keeper fumble, a soft open goal. The good and the bad of The Arsenal in a neat little cut out and chuck pullout.

I'm gutted we didn't win today. To all the supporters around me shouting abuse at Brum about it being a Mickey Mouse cup and not worth winning, why were you there? Why all the abuse, anger, c words and £70 for your ticket if you don't care. I don't care about X Factor so I don't watch it let alone pay to see it. I cared today. My £200 for 3 tickets cared. I think I cared more than the team. What they gave me wasn't enough.

I don't really want to pick on individuals as it's obvious who did or didn't do what but I will pick on Jack Wilshire. If only everyone put in a shift like him we might actually get over that hurdle. That boy is incredible and a future captain to be sure. www.twitter.com/evadztif tweeted that the only man we had on the pitch was a 19 year old boy. He gave his all and was gutted like a fan at the end. Tell Jack it's not worth winning.

So another cup thrown away. Birmingham are beatable. We normally beat them yet today our best fit 11 couldn't beat Birmingham who aren't even the best team in Birmingham. When the underdog is hungry and all that ...I know, but I felt let down a bit. We played well without being special and you'd expect more in a final. There was just something missing. Cesc maybe? Vermaelen? Are we that shallow in reserve?

A missed opportunity for sure and one we needed to rid ourselves of the monkey clinging to the back wall. No cups for the new ground yet and a right old struggle to get one. Only Man U, Barcelona and The Orient (I'm taking nothing for granted) stand in our way.

Much like the team today, I've run out of ideas.

We're Back (Back Where We Belong)

2011-02-27T09:44:00.004Z

Time for one last classic Arsenal song and this is the most classic of classics. It appeared a couple of weeks after that amazing night at Anfield. A fitting tribute! And the line, 'We only had a minute but then we went and did it' will never be bettered!

We're Back - Shootout Mix by FeverpitchFC

Enjoy the day. Lucky pants, where are you?

Highbury Sunshine

2011-02-26T13:24:00.002Z

Another song to build us up to the final tomorrow. This one just brings back fantastic memories of our wonderful old stadium. Highbury was a second home to many of us. Listen to the words and let the memories flood back. Ripping the numbered ticket from the season ticket book. Having a brief chat with your turnstile man. Peanuts - 20 pence a bag. Highbury Sunshine by Yeah.

Highbury Sunshine by FeverpitchFC

Hot Stuff!

2011-02-25T16:34:00.002Z

Today's pick of the hit parade is the 1998 FA Cup Final song 'Hot Stuff.' This is a classic! I went to this final with Mrs Feverpitch, Eastlower and a friend who has a normal name. Newcastle had their own song that was played to the crowd before the game. It was a dull folk song by, I think, Sting about how depressing the north was and how much a Cup win would mean to the whole area. Our song blew it away. We bounced along to the verses and all joined in with 'The Arsenal' bit. The Geordies were beaten before kick off.

Hot Stuff by FeverpitchFC

Shoutin' For The Gunners

2011-02-24T19:39:00.002Z

Thought this might be a good time to post some old Arsenal songs to get us in the mood for Sunday. Today's treat is Shouting for the Gunners by Peter Hunnigale and Tippa Irie. This was the official 1993 FA Cup final song. It brings back great memories of Steve Morrow, Andy Linighan and that lovely cup double. Chas and Dave could only dream of a song this good!

Shouting For The Gunners by FeverpitchFC

15 Minutes Extra Stoke

2011-02-24T17:15:00.008Z

In a day and age where health and safety stops you doing anything I'm surprised Stoke are allowed. Their thuggish brand of crap is both dangerous and very tedious to look at. The game itself I found quite dull. Maybe The performance against Barcelona spoilt me. If I hadn't seen such riches and all that. The atmosphere was flat. It really had the feel of a game we needed out the way.
Maybe I'd just had enough of Stoke. I was going about my business, driving around Islington, when I stumbled upon the Stoke team bus. I looked to the right and there, large as life, were Stoke. They were on the Market Road AstroTurf training. I pulled over and watched as Delap took throw in after throw in. He chucked the ball to Carew while bibbed defenders tried to get in the way. Then the coach decided to change it and they pumped the ball into the box from the floor. That was it. Depressing and 15 minutes was too much. Delap, as he was the nearest to the pavement, got a bit of abuse from some local kids. Shawcross was too far away! I like Delap! He could be useful to us this season. Cesc could grab his ears and lift him up to practise hoisting all those cups he will be presented with!

The most important thing about last night was the result. I'm starting to believe we can actually win this league. For me, it's the big one. It's the one that proves you are the best. The Champions League (Why is it called that? It's not a league. The Champions and a load of other teams who aren't champions generating a load of cash tournament would be a better, if less catchy, title for it.) proves you can beat randomly selected Europeans over two legs and then lose a final because your goalie gets sent off. It's all about what you do on the day. The Premier League is the one and we are well placed, very well placed.

To be honest we could've left after 10 minutes and missed very little. It's only a matter of time before people start leaving about then to miss the traffic. We would've missed Cesc limping off and Theo being carried off, two things we didn't want to see at the start of this marathon. Everything we do well seems to go through Cesc and he will be a huge miss. I know he is desperately disappointed about Sunday but in all honesty just get him fit for the Barcelona game. I know I've just said that's less important than ,say, Sunderland but we owe them one. To knock the arrogance out of them on their pitch would be it's own reward. It can be done!

Before the game a few of us were bemoaning Squillaci as this year's Silvestre. Defensively he probably is but last night he stuck it to us by being a match winner too. He looked delighted and we were delighted for him. He's had far more games than anyone expected and whatever you think of him, if Cesc lifts any pots this year Squillaci will have played his part. The same can be said about Bendtner. His has his critics and he might not be the best player we've ever seen but his own inflated self belief is his asset. He can miss 10 times and he never gives up. His head never drops and he stays confident. Another intelligent assist last night. He is playing his part.

So on to Wembley and the chance to change the phrase, 'Haven't won anything since 2005' to 'Only won the Carling Cup since 2005.' It's important to get this bunch a cup. They need a medal to push them onto bigger things. I went to Cardiff with my son the when we lost to the Chavs and he was given some good advise by his Godfather. 'Never take a cup final for granted. We may never get to go to another one so enjoy it. Look at Sheffield Wednesday!' Wise words.

Hands Up Who Didn't See That Coming

2011-02-21T07:40:00.009Z

After the highs of Wednesday we had to come back to earth with a bump and that was a big bump. The biggest bump since Sam Alladyce fell out of that tree he'd climbed to see if he could see a job from up there. In midweek we beat the best team in the world. Yesterday we weren't even the best team in Leyton.

I'm away from the Sky Box for a few days so had to rely on the computer to watch yesterday's little treat. A small screen and a cameraman suspended from a hot air balloon didn't make it easy viewing. The football didn't help either. So little happened in the first half I'll write all I can remember. Almunia started badly by fumbling a shot. Bendtner's shots were nearer to the corner flags than the goal. Squillaci & Almunia got themselves in a muddle. We passed the ball a lot. We saw another team do that recently didn't we? Miquel looked good and I got abuse from the spelling Nazis as my phone corrected his name to Miguel. That summed up the first half. Twitter was more interested in a misplaced 'g' than a misplaced shot!

Right, we don't want a replay. Anything but a replay so Arsene will do his stuff and we will put this to bed. A step up and the game will be won. An Interpol officer fell off his chair as Rosicky headed us ahead. It was a good ball from Bendtner too. Rosicky's celebration suggested he was as amazed at scoring as we were. It's been a year. Still not playing well but we are leading and have enough on the pitch to see this out. Arsene's 'big guns' waited on the bench to bring experience to proceedings yet nobody stripped off. The manager's subs against Barcelona were inspired yet today nothing. With Squillaci and a debutant in defence we needed to protect them. They had done well but at any moment a lower league chancer could try and dance past them and bury a shot straight through our hapless keeper. Oh! Too late! The lower league chancer has danced and scored!

Now who is to blame? We love to blame someone so here goes! Arsene let the team continue to play poorly with game changing subs resting with their feet up. The two central defenders made pathetic challenges to stop Tehoue although I don't really want to blame them. Miquel had a good debut and the equaliser must not take away from that. It was a massive day for him and he was great. Squillaci is just not very good and sometimes makes me miss Silvestre! So Tehoue has skipped past two men and is now one on one with our keeper. He hits it. He hits it well. He hits it hard. Top corner? Out of reach? No, it's straigt at Almunia. It passes straight through him as if he was a shadow of himself and ripples the net. Little more than we (and they) deserved.

Remember how we felt on Wednesday. That top of the world feeling where people in North London went to work in Arsenal shirts and scarves. Drivers blew their horns at these people to get a wave or a clenched fist in return. We spoke and thought of nothing else. That's how Leyton will be today and good luck to them. That's what football can do. They get a pay day and a cracking day out. We get another fixture that will stretch this squad further.

After 86 minutes the live text feed on Arsenal.com wrote,
'IMPRESSIVE: Arsenal have completed 658 passes this afternoon. Not bad eh?'
Not bad at all if we had completed 3 or 4 more shots on goal. Can we please get over this obsession about possession and passing. Barcelona passed us by yet we won. We did the same yesterday and drew. Passes are important, but unless you convert those passes into goals or even chances, ultimately pointless. A 32 pass move that results in a throw in or a 3 pass move that scores you a goal? I don't want us to change to long ball merchants but people must stop hanging on these stats. They mean nothing.

So not a disaster but not a good day. If you see an Os shirt today give them a toot. That was us last week and we loved it.

By Far The Greatest Team......

2011-02-16T23:22:00.004Z

Oh what a night at the New Highbury! Now that was a proper game of football. That was the beautiful game at it's prettiest. We all woke up this morning and this was the first thought in our minds. Barcelona tonight. Work dragged, kick off seemed an age away. It was a mixture of excitement and dread. We could do this lot. We could lose badly. Story of the season so far?

I got to the ground early. My son and I went to our seats to find a free flag. Manufactured atmosphere? It wasn't needed. Mrs Feverpitch joined us and timed her entrance to 'The Wonder of You.' The place was jumping. Noise like our new house hadn't heard. We started brightly and were all over them but squandered chances. Suddenly Barca decided that enough was enough, took our ball away and refused to let us touch it again that half. They scored twice with one wrongly ruled offside thank goodness. We were being battered. We were feeling what it is like for the Premier League to play us. Let us touch the ball. Their passing was a joy. Pinging it around so easily. Everything stuck to their boots effortlessly. 99% possession and yet we went in only 1-0 down. They had 'done an Arsenal' and not taken their chances. It has cost us in the past. Hope it costs them.

The second half was more even but we were still getting the run around. The crowd were growing tired with little bursts of chants breaking out before dying away. The linesman up our end was keeping us warm. He was useless. Had he shoved his flag up his arse and started a little dance he would've got more decisions right. Thank goodness (again) he missed AA's handball. Good man.

Suddenly we broke and RVP smashed it from a daft angle and Valdes decided saving it on the near post was beyond him. 1-1 and the Grove exploded. Barca were shaken and we all could taste victory. For the second time in a few days we scored a stunning 'Arsenal' goal. Crisp passing cut Barca open while Arshavin salted the wound. 2-1 and I was there.

Tonight was a great, amazing, fantastic night. It's why we are Gooners. Having just beaten the best team in the world we are now the new number 1. That's how it works isn't it? We get to wear the crown and sash for a bit. We may still go out to Barca and there is no shame in that. They are awesome but tonight we were better at never giving in. This team showed enormous heart and spirit. A goal down to Barcelona and you think 'that's it' but the team didn't. Arsene gets stick for his subs but tonight he gambled and his numbers came up. Every player played brilliantly tonight but if I had to single out a player it would have to be Koscielny. He only had Messi to deal with and did it very well. He came of age tonight. He did the number 6 shirt proud. Jack played beyond his years again, Cesc...., RVP.....The whole lot were perfect.

So the best night at the Grove so far by far. The team and the fans gave everything and we have given ourselves a great chance. The Leyton scouts left at half time thinking we were crap. From Barcelona to the Orient. Back down to earth. Until then, be elated, be happy, smile, sleep well. Tomorrow will be as good a day as yesterday for we are Gooners and we are proud.

Sheep in Wolves Shirts, Shorts & Stockings.

2011-02-14T10:37:00.002Z

Buy Wolverhampton a pint. Having stopped the manc's unbeaten run in it's tracks and preserving our unbeatables legacy, they lay down and presented us a lovely 3 points with little effort on our part. Cheers Wolves.

Everyone had been saying that Wolves' were better than their league position suggests and the win over the Manc's did give me some concern that we would know we'd been in a game by 4.50pm. However, Huddersfield gave us a better fight. We were great. We didn't need to be any more. Fantastic & Brilliant weren't necessary to beat such a lack lustre side who didn't really muster a shot on target. Yet the goals were far greater than brill. The first was a sweeping move swept in by RVP. A superb finish as good as you'll see. The second goal was pure Arsenal. 10 passes in 10 seconds apparently. (read that somewhere, haven't checked, if it's not true it should be!) That's got Barcelona worried!

Despite the pre match worries it turned out to be the perfect workout before the main event. We looked string and confident, and coming off the back of such a magnificent collapse, that's all we could've wished for. We look as ready as we can be for Wednesday.

I was really pleased with Arshavin. He's on his way back. Class is permanent and all that. He is trying now. He is getting back, helping out and flinging himself in front of balls in the last third. He still looks a bit off but he has upped his effort and you can't criticise that.

So onto the little matter of Wednesday and the annual game against that team that stole our style! Now, there's a lot of doom and gloom about this match with many not giving us a chance. We have a chance, of course we do, but I think they will beat us over two legs. That's not so much a reflection on us as a reflection on their brilliance. They are bloody fabulous. We won't get thrashed but I think over two legs they will just be too strong. We are the underdogs but that's not always a bad thing. On any given night anything can happen. When the underdog is hungry the favourite might fall. Be hungry Arsenal, be hungry.

Tribute to a Central Defender

2011-02-06T19:32:00.003Z

Worried Squillaci is the new Gus Ceasar? Younger viewers might not know who Gus Caesar is. This song will explain all. Enjoy this tribute to the great man - The Gus Caesar Rap.

The Gus Caesar Rap by FeverpitchFC

Lower Than Joey Barton's Morals

2011-02-06T08:39:00.003Z

I parked the car outside my house at 3pm. Before I'd reached the front door my little radio told me we were 1-0 up already. Went downstairs and put the kettle on, 2-0. Got onto Twitter and asked for a good stream, 3-0. Found a stream, 4-0. It was perfect, total football. We were playing highlights. The passing was crisp. The finishing was clinical. How many will we get? 6 would be nice. That doesn't happen too often. It could be 7 or 8. I hope we don't ease up. Let's go for it. No mercy.

How in the name of Eddie McGoldrick did that happen? At half time I tweeted that there will be some bloggers moaning it should be 5-0! My God they were right! How in the name of Pal Lyderson did that happen? Throughout this season my belief in this team has been gently eroded. Arsene says it's the best bunch he's ever had. Did he not see the Invincibles? I hoped we had finally found some form. We were on a run. We had fought hard to get through 'tricky' cup games and overturned the injustice of the Saha goal against Everton. What really convinced me was the spirit shown against Everton and the way the team celebrated the win. Players punching the air and hugging at the final whistle. The Invincibles did this a lot. We all realised they were on to something special and they reacted to every win like us fans. I saw that again last week. The first half yesterday confirmed to me that this team had found their feet and were ready to chase Man U. So how in the name of Siggi Jonsson did that happen?

Diaby let us down badly. How does he feel this morning? He was playing well, the team were 4-0 up and he reacts like a mug to a very hard tackle and we let it slip to 4-4. He's not totally to blame but I bet he didn't sleep well. Everyone agrees that, given his injury history, his reaction was understandable. Fair enough but he needs to walk away, stay on the pitch and protect that fragile defence. If he is going to put us in the shit after every hard tackle then move him on. Never been a huge fan of Diaby and this hasn't helped.

Diaby's sending off was magnified as Djourou went off again injured and we had to rely on Koscielny and Squillaci who couldn't stop a pig in a passage. Now Kos has done really well this season. He came from a lower level and has stepped up admirably but he needs a proper defender next to him and the bargain bin Squillaci is not the man. As it stands these two are our only fit central defenders and all the defensive midfielders are injured too. Why oh bloody why didn't we strengthen last week? Why? What will Barcelona do to Koscielny and Squillaci? What will bloody Wolves do?

And so on to the ref. Since Sky exclusively broke the debate about whether female refs should be allowed anywhere near a game of football, I for one think only women should be in charge after seeing a succession of utterly hopeless men try to ref or run the line against us. Now I know we all blame the ref for everything and it's a tough job but Phil Dowd yesterday was an absolute disgrace. If we discovered in years to come that he had a grandparent from Newcastle would you be surprised? If we found out he receives a huge discount on Dunlop Green Flash from Sports Direct would we be surprised? The first penalty was soft. Danny Mills on radio 5 said that it wouldn't be given at 0-0! It was a sympathy penalty but was just about acceptable. The second one was a straight up bent decision. Had the ref picked up the ball, punched Szczesny in the face and dived into the net while screaming 'Touchdown!' it would've been less bent than awarding that penalty. Unless the ref is right and the rule is that it's a clear penalty if you jump for the ball and miss it. Just like the new rule about not being offside if you are offside.

The equaliser was inevitable. The worst collapse in Premiership history was complete.

Yet, having witnessed the worst defeat I can remember (spuds at home), various other crap defeats (WBA at home! WBA!!) and now the worst collapse in modern history we somehow only find ourselves 4 points behind the new Invincibles (Oh wait they lost to Wolves. I'd laugh if we weren't playing them next!) So after all that it was 1 point gained. 2 massive points lost but 1 tiny little point gained.

In any other business, Twitter is an odd place sometimes. A word of warning if you post messages about Man U losing an unbeaten run. You will get a lot of sad little messages from sad little mancs reminding you that they won the treble. Yes but as the song goes (made up by @eastlower on 26th May 1999. I was there!) 'You might've won the treble, but you're all still c*^ts!' Also, Twitter has the odd sad little Gooner who can only write Wenger Out. Be careful what you wish for. They never say who they want to take over. Ok, Arsene makes mistakes but he is totally responsible for the state of our club, the healthy finances, the massive stadium and the fact I don't have a cup final ticket due to the massive stadium. Before you abuse me for supporting the manager think about the alternative if your brains can think two thoughts at once or is 'Wenger Out' all you can muster.

Thank Jimmy Carter for a week off.

When The Ball Is Played.

2011-02-03T12:46:00.002Z

Saha was miles offside when the ball was played to him. The fact it hit a defender is irrelevant. He gained an advantage (scored a goal) by being offside and the linesman was totally wrong. That's that. No need for a huge debate on phase one or phase two nonsense. He was clearly offside and if he wasn't then the rule is stupid.

It's the first offside in front of the North bank that was clear to us Clock Enders. To confirm it, the club helpfully played it on the jumbotrons and there was nearly a riot. The ref ran over to the linesman to ask about his family and whether he's got anything nice planned for the upcoming half term and the goal stood. There's your video evidence and it was ignored but what else could they do. I've never seen a goal disallowed once the players have lined up for a restart and there isn't a ref alive who would be brave enough. Where was Sian Massey when you need her? She gets offsides right.

The team, who had started badly, reacted to the injustice by playing worse. It was as frustrating on the pitch as it was in the stands. We made chances but whistled them wide or straight at 'time wasting' Tim. The boo at half time, for the ref not the team, was top drawer. Who says The Arsenal fans can't make a noise. We can boo with the best of them.

The second half started slowly too. I think the team would've got more grief from the crowd if the ref hadn't been so inept. It really was a poor show. He seemed to get every foul, push or advantage wrong. He'd lost it and was lucky the shenanigans involving RVP didn't turn into a full scale punch up. Whatever Cesc said or didn't say to the officials at half time, he was right. David! Why did you lie? Why David? Why?

Arshavin was introduced to a few groans and a picture of Nasri on the big screens. Wishful thinking? He seems to have turned a small corner recently. He's putting in the work, getting back to make tackles and turning the game last night in our favour with a neat finish. He's put in two cracking last gasp tackles this week and I'm confident he can fill that hole when Kos gets sent off and Djourou get injured. Squillaci and Arshavin at the back. Don't have nightmares, do sleep well! Anyway, he'd be like a new signing back there!

So the score went to Arsenal 1 Everton 0 Linesman 1 before our new Andy Linigan rose like a salmon to win the game. Justice! They way the team celebrated at the end was a wonderful sign. That offside goal may have done us the world of good. We played really well at the end to overcome that injustice and the confidence that brings is so valuable.

I'm so glad The Arsenal don't get involved in all that transfer nonsense. We are crying out for a central defender and we could've got one I'm sure. Not a world beater but a body that would relieve the pressure of injuries. It wasn't to be and I hope it doesn't cost us. The transfers of Torres and Carroll were staggering. The fees are eye watering to normal people. At a time where nearly everyone is feeling the pinch the opulence of these clubs verges on the vile. I'm not sure how comfortable I am being a 'fan' of all this. We pay a lot of money (to us) to watch multimillionaires do something that's not that important. I still love it but it leaves a bitter taste. Devalue the transfers to Torres - £5 million, Carroll - £3.5, Bent £2.4 and it would still be too much. The game took a huge change for the worse when it allowed these men with more money than dick length into the beautiful game. Blatter goes on about how video technology cannot be used as it can't reach all levels of the game. I don't see lower league players being bundled into helicopters to fly to their latest bottomless pit employer. The Chavscum chairman feels more of a man today as he's slapped us all with the size of his electronic bank transfer. Oh look at the size of it.

We should be proud of our club and the success it's achieved without stupidity. Arsene knows - That goodness for that.

A Costly Walk In The Park

2011-01-30T16:31:00.003Z

A home tie against a team from the old Division 3. That'll be a walk in the park and indeed it was. Unfortunately, the park was full of dangerous dogs and shit. On a freezing cold January morning I entered the ground unconcerned as to what I was about to witness but, for the umpteenth time this season, the team was chopped around and produced an utterly dire display. Harsh? We won!

It was an embarrassing victory. We scored an own goal and were awarded a very soft penalty. Huddersfield played amazingly well and we underestimated them as we did Leeds at home and Ipswich away. For the third time this year we got away with it against lower league opposition. This one was costly though. As Nasri pulled up the stadium and Gooners worldwide held their breath before uttering a united, 'Fuck.' Damn the hamstring. Nasri's loss for future games is unlucky. Nobodies fault just the bad luck injury fairy hits us again. What wasn't bad luck was Squillaci's utter stupidity at stopping Hunt who was on the run of his life. Is that the best a French international can come up with? Let's face it, he's not that good is he. People say we need a stop gap player to add to our central defenders. We have the stop gap already and he's suspended now for being a muppet. We have just over 24 hour to sort this out. Panic buy time!

Huddersfield were fantastic. We were wondering at 1-0 how they hadn't scored as they had chance after chance. Almunia pulled off a world class save (yes! I said it!) and Arshavin saved us with a last gasp tackle in the box. In fact these two were the only two that came out of this game with any credit. Arshavin worked hard again and he just needs to remember where he put his shooting boots. Maybe Eboue has hidden them for a laugh. Not funny anymore.

I don't really like picking on players but I seem to be today so I'll mention Denilson! He was awful today. Frustrating as he can do so much more and what better game to shut up the critics than against a League 1 side? Why can't these players take their chances to shine when it's on a plate for them. If we fail to bring in another defender Song will end up there with Denilson in his role and the team will suffer. Song can cover at the back but shouldn't.

I also thought Cesc let himself down a bit by waving the imaginary card at the ref when we were awarded the softest of penalties. I don't like to see that. I got a text from my cousin saying, 'Classy from Fabregas, wanting a Division 3 player sent off, how desperate are you?' My reply was, 'Very desperate.' I also don't like that stuttering run up. It won't be long before a player air kicks the ball, waits for the keeper to dive and rolls the ball the other way.

This is turning into a miserable rant. Imagine if we'd lost! It was freezing cold, frustrating, not very entertaining and we squeaked through but that's what matters. A change of attitude is needed for The Orient away in the next round.

You may know that my footballing mistress is Cambridge City and this could've been a big day for them. They beat Long Buckley and Hitchen Town in the FA Cup this season. Had they beaten Dover, Farnborough, Gillingham, Aldershot and Huddersfield they would've been running out at The New Highbury today and their squad of 16 part timers would've given us a game on that performance.

However, we limped to the hat and the quadruple is still on but what a cold costly day it was.

Milk Cup Finalists 2011

2011-01-26T18:37:00.003Z

Dust down that yellow ribbon and give it to the nearest female lineslady. Once more the women of the land will be adorning yellow ribbons. When we ask them why they are wearing yellow ribbons we know the reply.

So we are in the league cup final. 90 minutes away from getting that King Kong sized monkey off our backs. It might be 'only' the league cup but there are only 4 things to win and to get one of them is an achievement. The 1987 win over Liverpool was a victory that young team needed to set them on their way to Anfield '89. No sodding about in the final. Play the strongest team and win us a pot.

Last night was a odd game. The atmosphere didn't quite suit a semifinal. The team, despite playing well, lacked urgency in the first half. I must admit, having not scored against Ipswich for 135 minutes, I was slightly anxious about getting 2 in 45. When the breakthrough came it was delightful. As NB collected a marvellous ball my son said, 'Oh no, not him, he never scores!' Quicker than a Rooney dive, the ball nestled in the corner after curling past Fulop. A cracker from the waxed wonder. It was followed by a proper old school, headed goal from a corner from Kos. Captain Cesc showed great leadership (!) by putting the game beyond doubt and extra time so Charlie Brooker's new show wouldn't be bumped. A good night all round. All credit to Ipswich who led this tie for a lot longer than we did. In fact, Leeds and Ipswich have given us more trouble than most of the crap in the Premier League. That Championship toughens you up.

So the scramble for final tickets is on. It will be so nice to go to Wembley and not go to Ikea. The beauty of Highbury was that season ticket holders were guaranteed a cup final ticket. 30,803 into 44,000 doesn't go but fingers crossed. I've not seen the pitch at the new Wembley yet. I went to the semi where Arsene got the team so wrong but was carted off in an ambulance before I reached my seat. Don't ask!! It was not a 'lucky' medical emergency as we lost. In fact, The Arsenal have never won at the new Wembley when I've been in an ambulance so I'll do my utmost to avoid it. Lucky pants are a better option.

The man from East Lower tweeted last night that he was sure I'm planning a final mix tape already. Well, he's right. I love a crap football song and would make pause button tapes in the late 80s. This led to mix tapes and then CDs especially for those annual journeys to Cardiff. My mixer, tape, CD and record decks have gone but I'll do a rushed laptop job I'm sure. Apparently I must soundcloud it or something. I'll podcloudcast it up my dropbox if I can work out what any of this means! If not I'll put it on A TDK D-90 and post it through Eastlower's door with a yellow ribbon for Mrs Eastlower.

Any requests?

Wham Bang Thanks Wigan

2011-01-23T16:25:00.006Z

Thank goodness RVP got his hatrick or I wouldn't have slept soundly. It's not a strange urge of mine to fill Robin's house with match balls but the guilty feeling that I was responsible for the worst penalty miss since Euro 98 or Italia 90. I thought I'd be clever and give the Twitterverse an insight into the atmosphere at The New Highbury when a goal is scored and a hatrick is completed. Everyone around me saw what I was doing and warned me he would miss it if I tried to record it. It was like standing on your chair at 1-0 up with 2 minutes left and shouting, 'Nothing can go wrong now!' Sorry Robin, sorry.

The game itself was a stroll in the park with a stop off for an ice cream. On a scale of 1 to 10 Wigan are shit. How did we drop points up there? The people of Wigan don't even want to watch Wigan as up to 100 fans filled the away section.
We battered them for 87 minutes only allowing them 3 minutes after half time to attack a bit. RVP's first goal was super, the second Bergkampesque and the third a rasper. That boy certainly can hit a ball. Penalties are just too easy! RVP scored more goals than Szezzer had touches! Another hatrick was achieved as it was the third successive game where the team played well collectively. It would be hard to pick out an outstanding individual as all jobs were done effectively and problem free. RVP will get the headlines and rightly so but this was a team performance to be proud of. I do believe we have found the form we so desperately need.

I still feel we need another body at the back to cover injuries and tiredness. Djourou, at one point, looked to be in pain as he held his shoulder and that would have left just the one. Thank Cesc he was OK but we are light there and it would be neglect to ignore it. It would worse than neglect if that body belonged to Woodgate! A daft story which make me feel as sick as when I heard the news report 'arry had had his trousers tugged. Mugged?! Now he knows how Birmingham will feel after a couple of weeks of Bentley.

Good to see Beckham's son wearing a superior scarf at the game yesterday. Romeo's dad said be a tottenham fan and he obviously replied, 'F.............. Well you know the rest. Interesting David didn't see fit to support the team that loves him so much away at Newcastle. Maybe he doesn't give a shit about spuds and their walletless manager. That would break Sky Sports News' hearts if that were true.

Right, the tractor boys next with our first Wembley final since 1998 only 90 minutes away. We need to score twice which is possible if the new efficient, professional, no nonsense Arsenal turn up. If the useless, flighty buggers play then we could be in for a right stressful night. NO! We are on form. Don't let us down. It's about time she wore that yellow ribbon again.

Elland Back & It Was Nice

2011-01-20T17:52:00.008Z

I wasn't going to write a blog today. I just couldn't be bothered so I thought I just copy out some stories from The Current Bun. Who doesn't like getting the opinion on issues of the day from a topless woman? Debbie, 22, from Aldershot thinks The Arsenal might have finally found some form. 'I was impressed with their penetration' she giggled. That with 'exclusives about the latest man in Jordan's life and pictures of cats looking like Hitler should keep you happy. But you know what, that just wouldn't be right. I'd better do some work of my own.

I hope Debbie, 22, from Aldershot is right though. I hope these last two results lead to a run of form. The win at W'ham was great but they were awful. I was concerned we would do that thing we do and lose after a nice victory but we came through against a team much better than W'Ham. There were understandable changes but that can break the momentum. The big guns waited on the bench in case. I texted @eastlower at 8pm asking him if we would win. He said we would know after 5 minutes. A wise man that Eastlower. Nasri lifted the doubts as he twinkle toed his way past the White Wall to break ITV's hearts. You could almost hear the crackle in the commentators voice at it dawned on him that an upset was unlikely. On HD you could hear Andy Townsend crying.

ITV are second only to ESPN in the shit league. ESPN were actually sitting around a table by the corner flag, outside, at Man Shitty on Tuesday. At least Leeds gave err....Adrian......ummm......err.....checks notes.....ummm...Chiles a room to sit in. Shame they let the cameras in. The commentary is no better. At one point they said Leeds hadn't played at Elland Road since 2004! No wonder their fans didn't know what the seats were for. I was impressed by Leeds, or the White Machine as ITV renamed them, and I hope they do come up. We always win there!

The bottom line is that the team were impressive. We missed a couple of 'sliding in' chances that would've led to a breakdown for Townsend and ITV going off the air. My son turned to me and said, 'I'd love to tell you what I think of Bendtner but Mum is in the room!' He isn't keen on our Nick despite him putting in a shift. It ranged from rubbish (a great tackle near our corner flag which he promptly gave straight back to the tackled to set up a dangerous chance) to the magnificent (his cross for RVP's goal was a delight.) Really, AA was the only disappointment again but he did work harder than I've seen for a while. Lucky the game was on ITV as his second half shot knocked the Sky satellite out of line.* I hope he stays and finds his early form again as a sparkly Arshavin is a treat. Very pleased about the cracker from Bacary. He deserves every goal he gets, great player.

The defence looked solid despite poor defending for the soft Leeds equaliser!!! We do need a new central stopper as we are light. Big V is out for a while now, Squally is injured and not that good so we can't rely on Kos and Djourou to play every 4 days. Please Arsene get a body in. Stop gap or long term we don't care but we are short.

Right on to Wigan, Another win would start to convince me we have hit some form at the right time. We have a big week of home games coming up. The quadruple is on but you don't care about that. You just want a cat that looks like a dictator picture and who can blame you.

*#78 of 101 ways to describe the shooting of Arshavin vs Leeds Utd
Cat from www.funnycats.com as you can clearly see. I hope they don't mind! Not my cat. He looks like Charlie Chaplin so it wouldn't have worked at all.

Unexpected Fresh Bed Linen

2011-01-16T09:09:00.005Z

Things seem a little better in the world when your team win. Football is an escape from all the crap that's all around us. It's a separate entity because if it wasn't it wouldn't matter. Whatever is going on around you it can cheer you up or get you down. It's in your soul. It affects us as one. It's a crucial whimsy!

So Gooners worldwide are at their happiest this year. We hammered W'ham as we should. It went to plan. It's what was expected and,this season, the expected happening is quite unexpected.

W'ham were poor. Much worse than the team that pushed us to the limit at our place. They look as doomed as Avram's face. He's in desperate need of a massage. Wonder if he knows anywhere good. The Krays wouldn't have stood for it. Their fans have had this all season and some could only face it by sleeping through it. Wake up! It's not a nightmare. It's real and you lot will have a lot of nice new teams to play next year. Maybe by then Wayne Bridge will be match fit. It was almost cruel playing him against Theo. As Theo scored the second goal Chris Waddle* said, "what was Bridge thinking there" and as the nation, as one, we replied, "Where is John Terry while I'm here."

Not being a reader of red tops or Heat I didn't know Wayne had moved onto a member of the Saturdays (a popular singing group of attractive young things I've been informed. A modern day Spice Girls if you will.) Twitter was alight with "John Terry only plays on Saturdays" gags. Twitter is an unforgiving, unforgetting marvel.

So welcome back my Arsenal. Goals scored with none in reply. A clean sheet is a thing to celebrate. There's an open top bus parade this morning at 11am from the stadium to the town hall where Schezzy will be holding aloft freshly washed bed linen in a literal tribute. He is rapidly becoming my keeper of choice. Of all the many keepers we've had this season he's the one who gives me the willies the least. (http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/_/dict.aspx?word=give+the+willies)
When Djourou set up a chance for W'ham Shezzer was big and made a crucial save at 1-0. I'd stick with our future now.

Last season we drew this after winning 2-0 at half time. We were all thinking it and it was heartening to hear that Cesc had remembered too and warned the team to not repeat it. It would've been a collapse on a spuds scale for W'ham to get back into it but Cesc clenched his fist (see below) and that's all you ask sometimes.

Onwards to the replay. I'm positive but this team's form is as up and down as John Terry on a team mates wife so I'm not complacent about Leeds and I hope the team aren't either. A great win against shit doesn't mean a midweek win is assured. Leeds are probably a better team than W'ham and we need to be careful. We've had so many false dawns. Calm us down boys, find some form, expect the expected. Enoughs enough.

*How is that man allowed to speak in public. Compared to his commentary 'diamond lights' was a career highlight.

Brian Talbot's Fist

2011-01-13T17:05:00.006Z

When I was much younger, in the early 80s, team busses would sometime drive along the main road near my house on their way to East Anglia when Ipswich had a team to be proud of. On Arsenal away days to Ipswich or Norwich I would put on my full 1981 season kit and burn it down to the main road on my chopper and muck about down there until we saw a football bus. Often it was just teams on their way to the Abbey Stadium to play Cambridge United. I remember seeing the Aston Villa coach once. Sometimes Arsenal didn't pass or we just missed it. However, on one occasion we hit gold. The bus, totally normal apart from a rectangular sign saying "Official Arsenal Team Coach" in the front window, stopped only a few yards from us as a car in front of it turned right. I froze then started punching the air and pointing to the plastic cannon on my chest as if they wouldn't recognise the red shirt with white sleves I was sporting. Then it happened. Brian Talbot, ex Ipswich, looked straight at me and clenched his fist. The passion! They were going into battle with the blue foe for me, The thin kid in a cheap replica kit on a chopper, on a Cambridge pavement. The bus disappeared but I'd made contact. Brian Ernest Talbot clenched his fist at me!

I'm sure we lost. We were crap then but Tolbot's fist had proved to me they wanted it. It kept me going through the dark days of Lee Chapman and it's what upset me last night. There were no clenched fists, no passion, no real shots, no nothing. It was lack lustre, pathetic and frankly embarrassing. It has dented my faith in this team further still in a season of inconsistency and faith denting.

If this is the best set of player Arsene has ever seen they are hiding it well. These performances are not blips anymore. It wasn't just one of those nights just like Leeds wasn't just one of those lunchtimes. I'm afraid I'm coming to the conclusion that this squad is not good enough. We are suffering from a lack of funds to bolster a clearly talented crop. Something is missing. Experience? Drive? A passion for success? I don't know. What I do know is no team of any standard should put in a performance like that in a semi final of any cup. It short changes the fans. Managers and players come and go as we remain and we deserve better than that.

I didn't want to pick out individuals as it seems to run deeper than that. The team isn't functioning. However, if you are a professional and you can't control the ball on the half way line thus allowing your opponent to have a clear run on goal you have a problem. If you get caught out by a long high ball and all you can do is stick your leg out hopefully thus allowing you opponent to have a clear run on goal you have a problem. If you midfield don't defend the ball or create any chances you have a problem. If your goalscorers won't shoot you have a problem. If nobody in your team will clench their bloody fist when you are up against it you have a problem.

Of course we might still win this cup. We could coast the second leg. Or we could be sloppy like we were against Leeds, get a 1-1 and slump in the corner with our heads down. After a season of defeats by crap and draws with crap would any of us be surprised? I don't know what to think anymore. Support you evermore and all that but I'm not confident of anything. I think we will beat W'Ham 3-0 on Saturday but we could lose 2-0. Would any of us be surprised of either?

Last night took me back to the early 80s. Hope dashed by a poor performance and a 1-0 loss at Ipswich Town. I stuck with them then and I'll be by their side forever. I feel 11 again all of a sudden. I'm off for a Marathon, a can of Quattro while Ant Music glides over me (on 7" vinyl of course.)

An FA Cup view from the Loo*

2011-01-10T18:49:00.003Z

You have one job to do once or maybe twice a week. People look forward to seeing you. Everyday you focus on performing well and entertaining the crowd and you let us down like that. It's a big day, you're centre stage and you just don't turn up. Where the hell was Gunnersaurus at half time.

You just thought to yourself, "like most of the team" didn't you? Shame on you! However, I'd agree with you and your negativity! I was worried Arsene might underestimate dirty Leeds but his team, as ITV put it, included 10 full internationals and Denilson.

We just never got going despite being far better than dirty Leeds. Constant, but understandable, changes bring disjointed performances that you hope you can get away with. We just, but only just, got away with it.

The second half started with the usual concern over missed chances and then our only non international looked more non league with a daft leg stretch in the box. 1-0 down at home again. Well done to Sanchez Watt for standing quietly as his team mates went delirious. A classy moment from the on loan Gooner who looked pretty good to me.

The dirty Leeds fans were in full voice all afternoon. Derogatory songs about ITV were the highlight but I also enjoyed the relentless chant of "Yorkshire Yorkshire!" I tried to get a similar proud chant of "The South East" going but I am obviously the only one that loves my county.

I must admit I'd given up. Too many players were awful. Bendtner, who my son really doesn't rate, was dreadful. I'm sure he's world class but maybe only in his own head. Had we been playing in his head he may have got that routine left foot volley near to the goal rather than pathetically wide. Arshavin only livened up after he realised he had to play the full 90. Trying to run off every time the subs board lights up does not look good.

And onto Eboue. Gunnersaurus' mystery disappearing act only fueled the rumour that it is our number 27 in that costume. Maybe he would cross the ball better wearing a dinosaur costume. His crossing was so poor he'd get the sack from a hot bun factory in the run up to Easter. I know he's become a right cult but is he really good enough? I think you need more than being a nice bloke to warrant a first team place. When you do get a start, and this applies to nearly all of them on Saturday, you need to perform. Only Schezzer, Djourou, Theo and Cesc came away with any credit.

The ref had a strange end to the game. He awarded us a spot kick for a foul on Theo then changed his mind as Bendtner was offside after the foul. Very odd and wrong. Theo then admitted he dived which is honourable but slightly stupid. He might get hung, drawn and quartered in the replay and get booked for play acting. Compare Theo's 'dive' to Man of the match Berbatov's. Now that was a dive and it won the game and he didn't apologise. MancSpudScum! If Arsene only makes on signing this window let's hope it's a ref. Man U have one, why can't we? The one we got was a foul and the Captain didn't disappoint. We scraped a draw at home with a championship team. Woooooo!

So Arsene wanted anything but a replay and got a replay. Another game for the manager to tinker with. At least the next cup game should be easy enough. The chavs softened up Ipswich so a team including me in defence with Squillaci should gain a handsome victory resulting in fun and games in the second leg. We've got one hand on that Milk Cup. Reorder the silver polish Arsene.

*written on a mobile phone while hiding in the lav at work.

Peanuts, Chavs & Muppets

2011-01-06T11:13:00.011Z

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Italians should not be allowed to manage a football team. Especially one with stupid floppy hair who ties his scarf like a wanker.

Mancini was scared of us. That was clear from the off. We ripped them to bits at their place and he was scared. He saw what we did to the other chavscum and panicked. He thought 0-0 was the best they could manage and he was right. They were able to muster no shots on target despite the squillions of pounds of talent on show. 10 men behind the ball at all times. It did look like the whole team were scared of Tevez's face as the homesick looker was left all alone up front. The plus side of all this is our defence looked amazing against a team making no attempt to score. It's odd really. They believe they can win the league and we are rivals. I expected them to really go for us. Its not like we are not beatable at home. We've lost to some right crap like spuds. You can spend all you like but the small club mentality was still there. It was like playing a team scraping for their lives at the bottom.

I think a team should let us all know before hand if they won't try to play. They should make a statement saying,

"we don't know how to beat you and have no intention of trying to, so we will kill the game, make no attempt to score, let you have all the ball but guarantee it will be 0-0 so save your £50 if you want to avoid a frustrating and disappointing evening. What will make it worse is we will time waste from the off and our players will fake numerous injuries at every opportunity. Our manager will, at the end, lie about how he wanted the team to play to win while secretly be physically excited about the dullest performance the Premiership has ever seen. If you can't take your chance that's not our fault"

I was struck by how useless Yaya Toure was. I quite liked him at Barca but he seems to have given up. He's clearly gone there for the money (like most of them) and he has a huge arse to keep up. He is a massive lump of a man who doesn't run or do anything. He was beaten in the air by Clichy for goodness sake. He tried to jump but his arse prevented it. He's trotting about and becoming a multimillionaire. Like Damien Hurst, he earns enough to live in a castle yet produces rubbish. He is my new God!

Talking of Gods it was great to see Pat warming up for them. He too is just taking their money like an overweight boxer fighting one last bout but good luck to him. Take their money, build up your bank account and come and become an Arsenal coach soon. You'd be most welcome. It was a shame Greedybayor wasn't there to hear how we greet real legends.

Another thing that annoyed me were the pundits saying Chavscum north were brilliant at what they wanted to do and Arsenal fans can't complain because of George Graham's tactics. Bollocks! George always tried to score and win the game. 1-0 to The Arsenal! They wrote songs about it. It was in the Full Monty. Nothing wrong with defending. It's an art the present Arsenal team would do well to remember but it has to go with attacking. George stifled games so we could win. If The Arsenal ever go anywhere for a 0-0 draw I'll fry my season ticket, put it between a stale bap and sell it to the club for £8. See how they like it.

Enough about the anti-football of last night and briefly onto a tradition that has become traditional between myself and The Man From EastLower. Every Christmas and Birthday we buy each other gifts that are suitable for a friend of donkey's years. We have exchanged many a caravan themed present over the years due to our utter horror of the thought of them. This year EastLower got me one of the finest. A Caravan bird house! Unfortunately it only attracts Great Tits.

I went for a selection box of cheap stuff. First up was an old school packet of peanuts. You'll have to be of a certain age to appreciate this but we miss him. Eastlower will one day revive this industry. "Peanuts, Decaff and skinny Mocha nuts, £6.50 a bag." Change is not always good.

However, I was proud of his 'big' present. I made it (a bit) and it's unique! Nowhere else is there a calendar of cu^ts. I was going to write that on it but was worried he would open it in front of his mother. When you see it it's clear what it is. A muppet a month, sometimes two.

Make one for a friend or loved one. It's easy to find 12 pictures of utter morons. Start with footballers and politicians. It's easy and it's fun. Ive started you off with these examples. Enjoy yourself!

Stamp Collecting in the Midlands

2011-01-02T09:01:00.003Z

I like The Arsenal's New Year Resolutions. It's a time for change, out with the bad, a new start. Yesterdays performance was lovely. Lots of the things we are good at with only a little of what is bad. In many ways it was a better win than the thrashing of the chavs. It was the kind of game we are good at losing. The chavs lost there, ManUre drew and we won.

It's so pleasing when we beat a team like Birmingham. They are thugs. They know they can't play us at football so their only plan is to kick and stamp their way through the match. The studs up assault on Cesc was appalling. Martin Taylor all over again. Cesc was lucky. What made it worse was the gormless twat Johnson couldn't understand what he had done. It was delicious karma that meant gormless scored our third goal for us. What is it with Birmingham and collecting talentless morons?

Our first goal was delightful too. Birmingham spent the afternoon fouling us so it was ironic we scored from a free kick that wasn't a foul. RVP dived, took the free kick, it hit Bowyer (another scumbag who's only ability is to stamp his way around the pitch) and deflected it into his own net. Ha Ha Ha. They say things even themselves out. Well N'twat dived to get Wigan a penalty against us. RVP redressed the balance.

We created chance after chance before Cesc passed to Nasri who placed it beautifully. Na Na Na Na Na Na Nasri. Give that man a golden snood.

So 7 points out of 9 isn't bad. Let's make it 10 out of 12 with a win over chavscum (north) on Wednesday. They have joined my hate list. Shit team whose success is only due to rich owners. That's the way the game is going. Hate list will only get bigger. Let's put them in their place like we did with chavscum (south) last week. If we are serious about this title we need a run. It's already started.

I'm off to meet the man from Eastlower today for the swapping of crap Christmas presents and I'm not sure what we will moan about as the Reds seem to be Rip Roaring. Set piece defending maybe? Injuries? Even Fabianski has let us down by looking like a goalkeeper now. Oh well, there is always the weather.

Happy New Year Gooners

2010-12-31T16:13:00.004Z

Just a quick post to wish each and every Gooner worldwide (except Piers Morgan) a happy and prosperous 2011. Raise a glass to by far the greatest team the world has ever seen and toast the forthcoming unbeaten year full of goals and clean sheets.

Our new central defender, seen below in an exclusive picture, will make a difference.

I was going to do a review of the year but can't remember it it such detail as to do it justice. So briefly, my highlight was probably beating the filthy chavs last week. My lowlight happened at Wigan when we caved in to lose 3-2. The game that sums The Arsenal's year up is spuds at home where we were brilliant and utter shit all in the space of 90 minutes. That was our 2010. Brilliance with a smattering of shite.

Anyway next year will be different. The team will come of age and we will win cups. The new signings will gel immediately and we will once again reign supreme. The chavs (north and south) and mancs will be beaten on a regular basis while the spuds will never get the chance to release another DVD. Crap like Newcastle, West Brom, Wigan and Stoke RFC will be routinely thrashed.

My off the field highlights are the explosion of Arsenal blogs and the fun of Twitter. It's like watching games with hundreds of like minded people who all hate the opposition with the odd classic tweet from the players themselves. Shezesczzzzney (I'll learn the spelling when he is first choice) making a lovely comment about Ca$hley was class. I also enjoyed Lansbury asking why people hated Ca$hley and getting a million replies of, 'because he's a c*^t! Brilliant.

Happy New Year Gooners. Have a good one, don't drink too much and get to bed. 2011 starts tomorrow and there's a game on. Come on you RIP ROARING REDS!

Victoria Constant Inconsistent

2010-12-30T08:15:00.004Z

How many times have we been here? The high of a good win shattered by a poor performance. Why are we depressed? Why are we even surprised. Majestic one game, crap the next. Against Spuds at home we were both in the same game.

Much was made on Twitter about the 8 changes before the game. Didn't Wolves get in trouble for 8 changes? There was very little support for it. The boys from Monday, much like us fans, we riding a wave of optimism and that probably should've been used against Wigan. Maybe one or two changes but 8? I can understand Arsene's thinking. He is very protective of his players, too much sometimes, but he would argue that everyone in the squad should be able to play and deliver. However we broke a massive barrier on Monday by finally beating a major rival and to break that up so dramatically proved to be an error in judgement. Arsene would argue that the team he picked should have enough to beat a team in the bottom 3 and I agree but the confidence of beating the chavs has been wasted. That confidence can't be bought and we haven't had a lot of it lately and it's criminal to have lost it so easily.

I hate these midweek games ignored by TV and radio. You spend your evening looking for streams from God knows where, shouting as a shot goes in as your picture freezes. Many thanks to the Gooners on Twitter sending me a flood of streams. Got a good one in the end but not sure the performance warranted the effort. These are the games that will win you the league. A point isn't good enough.

Something Arsene can't be criticised for is the shit referee. Their penalty was a clear dive by N'a N'cheating, N'diving N'bastard. The more you see it the less contact there is. N'twat was rightly sent off later for headbutting Jack, who went down like a pro. Good lad! There was the clearest of clear handballs at the end, which would've led to the worry of a penalty, that the ref ignored. If only he had been the ref against the spuds when the Capt did the very same thing. Inconsistency is the only constant it seems. But let's not blame the ref. We should have enough.

We scored two good goals despite playing like muppets and I expected us to take control. It never really happened. 2-1 up and now they are a man down. Come on The Arsenal, put this game to bed. Oh no, they have a corner, it's a deep one, the defence run around like school kids, goalie goes walk about - 2-2! Crap.

Under normal circumstances we would be out of it by now. It's the general crapness of all the teams that has kept this season alive. If any team had gone on a decent run they would be so far clear it would be over. And that's where the frustration stems from. Why can't that team be us? Well it's because we have cut price defenders and a goalkeeper who isn't good enough. We have our best defenders injured and half injured. We can't defend set pieces. We don't build on confidence building wins.

The central defenders aren't good enough. Kos was bought as a squad player and injuries have thrust him into many more games than planned. He's done quite well but he's not ready. Squilly too makes basic errors consistently. Are we really going to win the league with these two? Be honest! Fabianski. Does he give the aura of a Premiership winning keeper? Be honest! He is improving but still a mistake waiting to happen. Arsene himself says no one take control of set pieces. No surprise really is it?

We won't win the league this season. There, I said it. This team has proved time and again that a run of form is beyond them. Would a draw at Birmingham be any more surprising than a win (or a loss!) We're an unpredictable roller coaster. Victoria Constant Inconsistent.

I Hate The Chavs

2010-12-27T22:13:00.007Z

Deep down in our heart of hearts we didn't expect that did we? We all knew the team could produce a performance like that but so often this season it's been rubbish. Not tonight! That was everything I hoped for. They showed passion, commitment and a real desire to beat the evil chavs. We not only won but we deserved to win.

Bringing in Djourou was a popular (and right) decision. He is clearly our best fit defender and was superb. Dropping Arshavin was also popular (and right.) I must admit I didn't expect to win. The performances this season have left me thinking that we can lose to anyone (and we have!) but tonight I saw The Arsenal come alive. We were better than the team that bought the title and left feeling proud. We can do it. We can. It makes all those silly defeats seem all the worse. Imagine where we would be now had we beaten the teams we are easily capable of beating.

I think I enjoy nothing more than beating those bastards. Due to my family being split between London clubs I was brought up to hate that lot. I've hated them since Kerry Dixon! The fact they are a small club whose only chance of success was to be taken over and pumped full of money makes it easier to hate them. Most of their players are scum (see picture) and their fans are worse. Their fans have started a punch up on The Arsenal bridge as I write this and there are police everywhere. They started the night singing 'that' song about Wenger. Classless scum.

So David Mellor, Tim Lovejoy, Suggs, Bubble from Big Brother, John Major and every glory hunting kid under 12 years old - your small, historyless club took one hell of a beating and long may it continue until you slip back to mid table where you belong. Find a chav tomorrow and take the piss. Enjoy it, they deserve it.

So onwards to two away games. 9 points this week would be fantastic and well within our grasp. Please don't let this be a one off. Prove to us you have what it takes to take this league by the scruff. Tonight was The Arsenal's Christmas gift to us fans. Make it a Happy New Year.

What a night!

Happy Christmas Gooners one and all.

2010-12-23T22:44:00.006Z

I had a fantastic pre Christmas blog planned. I was off, with my son, to the festive members day on Tuesday and this was going to be filled with pictures and sarcastic comments about how they don't seem to be doing any defensive training. We had an e mail too saying we could meet the players in an exclusive signing session. The M&S lunch had been bought and we were ready. Bit of snow and it's unsafe to go! It wasn't long ago that you could walk on an icy pavement and if you fell over you were an idiot. Not anymore. Icy pavements mean claim time so let's just call everything off and stop the idiots leaving home.

I found some old video of the open top bus parade from 1993 and I thought I might post that as a festive treat but would it post? Would it hell so I've resorted to two badly made Christmassy pictures of our boys. Rubbish I know but nobody slipped over in making them and nobody has been sued.

So what do we all want for Christmas? A big new defender would be lovely. Some consistency with a bow on it please. Beating one of our rivals with extra stuffing would do nicely. Gooners to appreciate what we've got rather than moaning about being second, in a semi...etc. Yes I know but moaning is what us football fans do best. We all secretly love it. There is so much more to say when things are going badly. There's not too much to moan about at the moment. OK 'could do better' springs to mind but this team isn't perfect. We all know that. The invincibles they are not but we are doing OK and that's not a bad place to be.

So just the chavs at home and Wigan away to see out the year. 6 points in the bag? Oh how merry would Christmas be and how happy will new year be if we turn over the chavs? Good will to all men and all that but not to them. A team full of bastards who deserve a beating. That's the (festive) spirit!

With that I wish you all a Merry Red and White, Yellow and Blue Christmas. We are The Arsenal and we are the best, we are The Arsenal so f*ck all the rest. Have a cracker Gooners one and all.

Merry Christmas from the Boss & The Boys

2010-12-21T22:39:00.002Z

Now go and beat the chavs for a truly merry Christmas.

Swine of a Flu.

2010-12-18T19:50:00.004Z

Told you it was Barca didn't I? Don't know quite why they go through the rigmarole of a draw. We get Barca while the MancTwats and ChavScum (southern section) get easy trips to nice places. Oh well, it's our own fault for playing like mugs in Portugal. We may beat them or we may lose but either way we will have to do it without Silvestre. Ohhhh Baby. Let us just all pray or ask Father Christmas for the ability to defend by then as they won't just rip us a new one, they will measure up, send us a quote and have it installed professionally unless we wake up at the back. Worried? It's the fever talking.

I've been in bed since last Saturday. No I'm not a student. I've had a lovely bout of flu. The cynical lady in the chemist told me it is swine flu but the Government don't want people to have swine flu as the country is depressed enough. So due to the recession I just have flu. Christ I thought I might die! This was no man flu. There is no cure. Drink lots and eat bacon (hair of the dog?) I watched the MancTwat away game and assumed the team were that lethargic through my eyes as my days were numbered but apparently they were that shit. All I remember from that game is the irony of the miners getting out early and of all the people in the ground who looked like they had been underground for 2 months it was David Beckham who has obviously decided not to wash his hair until we get awarded a world cup final.

I was really pleased for Sczezcezezczny. He looked confident and is tall enough to have Shrek's penalty covered. How we laughed when the grannie lover lover cocked that up but sadly it was still closer to going in to anything we tried. It was a poor show.

So on to today. A desperate search for someone to take son of Feverpitch to the game ended abruptly as a ton of snow fell in Islington in less than an hour. How could Ryan Shawcross be expected to time his perfect tackles in such conditions? Good to see the council doing their best to not run out of grit by not using any at all. The alternate twitter commentary was entertaining but told a story. 'Run Arshavin you lazy....', 'Row Z Clichy Row Z', 'Oh no that looks bad for RVP' were just a few telling tweets.

In other news we have signed ourselves an new player. Japanese wonder kid Ryo Miyaichi joins us in January and he has been described as a cross between Theirry Henry and Christiano Ronaldo. A magnificent cu^t then! Good luck fella (can you play in goal?)

Barcelona, Bell-ends and Belgrade

2010-12-10T19:38:00.003Z

So it's Barcelona in the next round then. I know it is yet to be confirmed but we all know it will be. It's in the stars. We can feel it in our water. My mock draw using scraps of paper during a particularly dull bit of the day gave us Barcelona so get used to it. Our top of the table, semi final defence will once again be tested by Mr Messi.

Belgrade was a delight! For a game of 4 goals it's quite odd that nothing happened. However, for once, we played badly and won rather than playing well and not winning. I prefer the winning bit without the not. The penalty was a bit soft but you take what your given. Van Persie's strike tested the net. The goalie sensibly got out of the way. The equaliser would have been unbelievable had we not all seen it coming. So now we were worried. The team didn't lift themselves and it was with relief that the lethargic Arshavin was taken off for a boy full of Red Bull. Theo injected life into the side, scored a great goal to set up the Barca showdown (You know it!) Another lovely goal by the boy Nasri and we were home and finally dry. It's just a shame the shoddy nonsense the team served up in Portugal has led to (quite probably) Barcelona. Let's sort out that soft centre between now and then and give them a game.

Bell-End news has been lively this week. First up was cockney Bell-end Mike Ashley who deemed Chris Houghton not good enough and replaced him with a man I'm sure we all had pencilled in to take over from the great Arsene when that unthinkable day arrives. Good luck to Newcastle and their new Messiah.

This was followed up with Prince Bell-end Evra who was none to kind about our great club. Well all it proved was that he is a dick and Man Utd still employ dicks just like the good old days of Sherringham and Keane.

Onto Monday where I'd love to see the dicks get one hell of a spanking.

YELLLLLLOOOOOWWWWSSSSSS!

Soft Centre Point

2010-12-04T18:35:00.007Z

Top of the league! If the FA feel like stopping the Premier League today as a protest to FIFA I'll support them. Champions! That would be grand.

How a goal can change things. At half time there were rumblings in the crowd. We'd started brightly (as we usually do), could've been 4-0 up but contrived to be huffing and puffing at 1-1 with a team flirting with the bottom 3. The centre of our defence could not be softer if we had the caramel bunny playing back there.
Time and again Fulham pushed the ball between our middle two and at one point the linesman was our best defender. Today's game was dedicated to CentrePoint. Maybe it should've been dedicated to CentreHalf. It's a real worry. It will cost us. It probably already has.

May I remind you we are top of the league while I'm having a moan. However this isn't a negative moan. It's a frustrated moan about how close we are to greatness. We've lost at home 3 times in games we should've won. This is not complacency on my part. We didn't lose because of a dodgy ref, a deflected goal or a turned down penalty. We lost to Newcastle, WBA and Spurs because on those 3 days we were crap. Coming up is a massive WHAT IF but had we turned up on those 3 days and played the way we know we can we'd be 10 points clear. ARRRRRRRRRGGGGG! Imagine that!! They were games we threw away. I know all other teams will have a list of 'what ifs' but I don't care about them. I care about what we seem determined to throw away. If we miss out on the big one by a few points it will be unbearable.

Today's win is obviously fantastic and thank goodness it's not in that list above. However it's in the list with West Ham and Birmingham. It was hard work of their own making. The turning point was Koscielny knocking himself out during a bit of defending we've become accustomed to. It was shambolic but it led to our best fit defender coming off the bench. How awful do we need to be before Djourou is considered for a start? He looks commanding and attacks everything. The balls through the centre were snuffed out. He needs to be first choice now.

Fabianski polished his reputation again but the fact he kept us in it at one point underlines the softness of our centre. And someone please have a word with Song. He thinks he's Messi and Henry's love child and it needs to stop. The softness starts in the centre of the midfield and he once did a fine job there. If this continues I'd drop him until his highlights grow out. Oh I miss Gilberto.

So rant over! We are in a Semi final, top of the league, touching distance of the next bit of the Champions League and yet I'm cautious. I just hope the end of the season isn't filled with regret where a tinker here and a few quid spent there would have ended in euphoria. Don't blow it Arsenal, don't blow it.

Mixed Messages

2010-11-27T22:05:00.003Z

What on earth do we make of this team? After a week of worry, analysis, debate and downright grumpiness The Arsenal put in a display to be proud of at Villa. Is the defence strong enough? Are we better without Cesc? Is it Arsene's baby? Everything alright now. An away win heals the wounds (in November too!)

I kept quiet after the Braga game. I really was lost for words. It was a performance to forget. I've forgotten how poor we were at the back for the two goals. Forget it but learn from it. It was a week to forget. Texts from spuds clogged up my phone. One spud was particularly proud of 'Champions League - We're having a laugh' late on Wednesday night. Let them enjoy their temporary glory. I've worked out a cunning way to deal with them after a defeat. This maybe useless information as it happens only every 17 years but if you get a spud crowing about how good they are just calmly admit that we are crap. You don't have to mean it or believe it but it takes the wind right out of their sails.

Spud, 'Your lot are crap.'
Gooner, 'I know! We are awful. It's all over. Our players just aren't up to it.......etc.'

It stops them in their tracks. It confuses them. It makes their heads hurt. Walk away and uncross your fingers.

Many of us, mostly men, looked on in envy as Robert Pires kissed half our side in the tunnel (not a euphemism) before today's game. The exchange between Bobby and Clichy was technically a french kiss I suppose. Calm down! What a player he was and it was a joy to see him back although it's sad seeing him run flat footed out for Villa. I'm not keen on Villa. It's not hate like Spuds or the chavs I just find them dull and pointless. Irrational I know and I can't explain it but I wouldn't open my eyes if they were playing at the end of my bed. So it was pleasing to stick 4 very good goals past them and go top for a bit.

Just enough time to text that spud 'Top of the league - We're having a laugh.'

Complacent Rubbish

2010-11-20T15:09:00.007Z

I've just got back from the ground after the worst defeat by the Spuds in my 31 years of supporting The Arsenal. My wife and son have been subjected to a full analysis and a few choice words (sorry son) on the walk home. This blog might be a rant. This blog is therapy.

This team are, I'm afraid, a complacent arrogant bunch who seem to think that just by turning up they will win. It happened against Newcastle and WBA. It nearly happened against W'ham and B'ham. Today was the worst of all. The first half we were brilliant. We played the dirty Spuds off the park. We scored two good goals and were coasting and that's the problem. They went in at half time thinking this was easy. What the hell happens at half time. They must be told how wonderful they are while their ego's are stroked. Here's an idea boys - THE GAME IS NOT WON UNTIL THE FINAL WHISTLE!

The second half was a disgrace, as bad a performance as I've ever seen. They gave up and that's unforgivable. Spuds will now have and open top bus parade and a DVD out for Christmas and why not? We gave in to them in the most pathetic way. I'm gutted. Without big changes in attitude this team will win nothing. I've mentioned complacency before so why can't they learn? It's depressing and worrying how we lost today. Three defeats at home by crap is not the form of Champions. Utter utter rubbish Arsenal. Today was a new low. I'll support you ever more but today you own me and thousands of others an apology.

An awful toon to Baca da net with added worms.

2010-11-14T16:38:00.009Z

It's been quite a week for me and my relationship with this beautiful game. Last Sunday I saw my beloved team not try in the cold and it was unforgivable. They faced a tricky away tie on a wet Wednesday in Wolverhampton and I wasn't confident.

Wednesday afternoon is when the kid's football teams I am somehow in charge of practise and play matches. We are not good. As I stood on a sunny yet bitterly cold park pitch, worrying about what Henry might do to our brittle boned players that evening, my under 8's were taking a battering. I have no subs to turn things around with. Tactics are lost on them. One boys tells me he doesn't want to play anymore as his hands are dirty! He was told to go away from me before a torrent of anger reigned down upon him like shards of glass thrown by Hades himself. He looked at me, puzzled and just said, "What?"

What if Chamakh has a sudden panic about dirty hands? I'm not confident. My Under 8's faced another attack. GOAL! The keeper and his two defenders were standing in a self made circle with their heads bowed. In shame? NO! They were looking at a worm. A WORM! And they had no idea we had conceded! What if Fabianski, Squill........ No they wouldn't be that interested in wildlife would they?

As it happened dirty hand and worms couldn't stop us. A great start and end with some stout defensive play led to a fantastic 2-0 away win. Wolves were quite good and we were OK but we got the 3 points so suck on that Mr McCarthy and your dirty tackles they don't get shown on MOTD. Of course Cesc was hung out to dry but what do you expect?

Next up on my tour of falling back in love with the game was a trip with my son to Cambridge City vs Chesham. Awful. 0-0 with hardly a shot. City have been top of the league, won an award for best side in October, only lost one league game (we were there) and yet we have yet to see them score. A long drive, cold, no goals but that's the fan's lot isn't it. The highlights were half time and the sunset. I didn't want to go to football again after that. A brief depression during which I was checking the fixtures to see when their games don't clash with The Arsenal. Didcot away looks fun!

It was up to The Arsenal to win me fully back. Some of the kids I coach will always be more interested in the trees. Arsenal show me what they are missing. It was not the best game but that's OK. Two fairly even teams tend to do this but we have that little bit more class and it showed in the end. A crackery by Bacary got us off the sofa and an equally crackery strike from Cesc nearly made me spill my tea. Fabianski played well again. He is slowly getting his account into the black. He has proved himself to be a good shot stopper but his decision making and confidence at crosses (missed that corner today by miles) needs a lot of work. He is the best we have but until his errors become as rare as a well driven BMW he will still have his critics. I'm still not sure he's the long term answer but fair play to him as he's started to be a match winner rather than a points loser and long may it continue. Shame we conceded (not Wookash's fault) but, like Wayne Rooney with a crisp £20 note and an old lady on a Friday night, we struggle to keep a clean sheet.

Next up the North London Derby or should that be the Gareth Bale Derby. It will truly be an honour to be in the same stadium as the great man. Let's turn them over and put that mug back in his place safe in the knowledge that he plays for a half arsed club and will never play in a world cup finals. Before that the under 8's will be chasing the ball like a swarm of wasps, keeping their hands clean and talking to the animals. The future is safe.

When Bagpuss goes to sleep.....

2010-11-07T16:37:00.008Z

Let's get this blog thing out the way. We were awful. There are no other ways of saying it. Awful. I thought we would beat Newcastle at home and that's not complacency. If we have any aspirations of winning the Premier League we must beat teams like Newcastle or West Brom for that matter but to be blunt we are struggling a bit. Today was a low point in result and performance. I try to stay positive on here but after today you'll have to excuse me.

I've been lucky enough to see quite a few championship winning teams and I'm afraid, deep down, this is a squad that is missing that special something. As I write this the Chavs (south) have just gone 2-0 down. Great but we will make no ground on them today if they lose and we have to if we are at home to a team we should beat. Newcastle brought nothing to the game apart from too much hair and yet they won. We just brought nothing.

The something special we do have is Cesc and he is obviously struggling with the injury. Today he was below average at best. He makes our team tick. He makes our team great. Today he was asleep and, like Bagpuss, when Cesc goes to sleep his friends go to sleep to.

I wanted a big win today so I could title this 'Rapper's Delight' after the tabloid rubbish yesterday. I wanted to have a rant about spending £6 on a limp chicken and chips in the ground. I wanted to make a comment on the flashing advertising boards driving me mad but I won't. I should take about our defending for their goal or how there we two covering defenders when Kos got his red but I can't be bothered. I wanted to write about our goalscorers.

Wolves will be right up for it and so must we. Set the Bagpuss alarm clock for Wednesday.

I'd rather Jack.....

2010-11-05T16:51:00.007Z

Excuse the lateness but I find it hard to get up for this after a performance like that. It has been discussed across endless blogs and we all know the midfield was missing, the team were complacent, Clichy has forgotten how to defend .......

Maybe Arsene rested too many players but who can blame him. Shakatak haven't lost at home for 100 years and we haven't won there in longer. They looked like a hungover pub side at our place and much better at theirs but if we needed to win that wouldn't be the team and you hope that wouldn't be the performance. We have two more goes against poor sides so qualification is certain. Oh there's that complacency again!

That game was very like a Cheryl Cole CD. Tiny high points (the silence between tracks), loads and loads of awful crap (the songs) and one thing of real beauty from Lil' Jack and Theo (the end of the CD when you feed it through a shredder). Theo's goal was Henryesque. It was fantastic to see an Arsenal player score a goal that took us all back to the great man. The ball from Jack could've been Bobby while the two touch finish was TH. The invincibles reformed for a come back gig oh so briefly and it was emotional. Shame we played the rest of the game like the hungover pub side.

Much has been made of Clichy and his lapses of concentration. He's been criticised from all angles and it's hard to disagree. Get well soon Mr Gibbs. However poor old Gibbs is made of sticks and feathers and is putting no pressure on Clichy. Complacent? Maybe.

I also have a problem with the kit! It was very very yellow. I'm all for a yellow away kit but that hurt the eyes. Also why are the player's names in lower case? Trivial? Maybe but if you see

SHAKHTAH DONETSK vs arsenal

who would you put your two quid on? Level one english at primary school where you learn all names have capital letters is basic stuff and that is why we lost and don't tell me otherwise!

Onwards to newcastle and wolves who are full of hard bastards and if we have anyone fit on Thursday morning it will be a miracle. However I expect two easy wins, at the risk of sounding complacent!

We're Back (Back Where We Bellong)

2010-11-01T18:09:00.008Z

I'd given up hope. I went to this game expecting a battering for W'ham. Indeed on Twitter on Saturday morning we somehow turned an East End football club into an 80's pop band in jest. @Eastlower set the bar high hoping our Young Guns (Go for it) while recommending the Club level Tropicana juice at half time. @Avennel even suggested a win would take us to The Edge of Heaven. I thought W'ham should Wake us up before they go go down. How wrong we were.

It was not an enjoyable game to watch and it looked exhausting to play in. An early goal and we may have ended up with the large win we all expected but it never came. Rob Green was having his annual fantastic game against THE Arsenal but to be honest if Andrew Ridgeley was in goal with Pepsi and Shirley as full backs we wouldn't have scored. It wasn't through lack of trying it just felt like one of those days.

At half time I sent @eastlower an text suggesting that the game wasn't very good. He wasn't there and asked to be supplied with text updates. These updates consisted of a barrage of swear words. Mild at first but with only 5 minutes left they were verging on the late night Channel 4 variety. My mood wasn't helped as he kept sending me messages asking if we were 5-0 up yet!

Then up popped Alexandre Dimitri Song Billong! Critised roundly by a large part of the crowd around me for going too far forward, not playing the holding role and ruining his song from the @arsenalpodcast. He is maybe floating too far forward, this might be unbalancing the team but he's a goal machine at the moment so who can critise. Have a pop at his ashtray hair if you will but don't berate his positioning. He scored the winner, the place erupted, the win was ours. We must give him Freedom as he calls I'm Your Man! Sorry! Must stop it now.

Half way trough the second half I thought how hooligan films always feature W'ham and that I expected Danny Dyer to steam the Clock End wearing knock off designer jeans and a checked shirt as things got tasty. Lo and behold, 5 minutes later it got a little tasty as 6 W'ham fans in the Clock End decided to get a bit lippy. Some Gooners became upset and I had the phone ready to video! It's not that I want a record of a punch up it's just that the W'ham fans really were old enough to know better. Is there anything sadder than a man in his late fifties, balding, coat done up against the cold screaming, "You and me! Outside now!" The stuarts (as my son used to call them - Are they all called Stuart?) did their job and fistichffs were averted. They left after 86 minutes and missed the goal! Shame.

Eat a hat of humble pie.

2010-10-26T22:45:00.004+01:00

With only 20 minutes to kick off I'm standing in a safari playground miles from the nearest TV. Indeed our Sky box is miles and miles away. The perils of half term. I just need to get to the laptop and dongle but the kids won't leave. We've bumped into friends and that's added to the delay. Oh well, the first half on the car radio it is apart from the radio, along with various other bits of the car, doesn't work as well as it once did. As we wound our way through country lanes we got very intermittent commentary. We missed the sending off and the first goal. Twitter alerted us of both. We did get one gem from Ian Dowie however.

"I don't think that's a yellow, he was inches away from playing the ball!"

Yes! Apparently if you are close that's not a foul. Therefore Edwardo and Ramsey weren't fouled by that criteria. That comment by Dowie coupled with the Manchester paper claiming a foul in the opening minutes of a game should never be a red card as it ruins the game (and there are two clubs in that city who know about ruining a game) just goes to prove what a bunch of morons professionally speak and write about football. After the last blog I'll move on as a feel a rant arriving.

Arsenal's performance was as smooth as our coverage was bumpy. It was helped by the sending off but ow anyone can complain about the red is beyond me. The little 8 million pound boy wasn't good enough to deal with that ball by Cesc, fouled MC and had to go. Don't blame the ref, The Arsenal, the sunshine or the boogie. The pass beat him and he brought MC down. Off you go son and thanks for letting your team down.

Having missed the visuals of the first half I had to sit through the half time chat to see the red card and the goal. Jamie Bloody Redknapp! That's why I never watch half time.

The second half was brilliant. Fabianski was fantastic, adding to some good first half saves and I think he may well have been MotM. Fair play to him but we need this time and time again. If he is consistent an odd mistake is tolerated as it's unusual and he's only human. I hope he proves us all wrong and we are feasting on hats made of humble pie.

So a splendid 0-3 away win at Chavscum (North), a side that overnight have bought their way to becoming a rival. We have to tolerate these smaller clubs punching above their station due to shiny new owners. Good luck to them on their soulless quests. I just enjoy putting them in their place. One day we will work out how to do the same to Chavscum (South).

So onto tomorrow night and a cup we could comfortably win. Laptop and dongle to the ready.

Rooney makes Beautiful Game Ugly

2010-10-22T23:05:00.005+01:00

So Wayne Rooney has a massive tantrum and gets his pay rise. Shame Man U fell for it but that's the game now. Players bigger than clubs, debts ruling decisions, money talking. Had Rooney gone the money would've disappeared up a Glazer and not been reinvested so they had to let the spud faced idiot have a bit of a scream before giving him what he wanted. Shame nobody else can act like that at work. Great timing too. On a day when the Government announced cuts across the country an over-paid footballer demanded more. The people losing their jobs in the coming months are expected to scrape together enough money to sit in a stadium and cheer on that mug. Just when over-paid pointless entertainers should keep their mouths shut and thank their lucky stars they are paid stupid amounts for playing a game a massive fat headed twat decides to speak out. Maybe he should call his old mate Ronaldo and have a chat about slavery.

It comes at the same time of news that Portsmouth FC may be forced to close down. Don't worry Wayne, Ashley, Adebayor ......as long as you are OK stuff the rest.

I watched 'Once in a Lifetime' last night. An interesting film about the New York Cosmos in the 1970's. There was a warning there. Huge sums of money were pumped into the North American Soccer league. Pele joined the Cosmos to play with a low level of team mates. The money was right so he went. Many other followed him (for the money) and for a moment it looked like soccer would establish itself in the US. Television wasn't interested and the league died.

How much longer can our Premier league live in this false world? The economy is knackered. People will find it hard to go to games. There were empty seats the other night in the making money group stages of the Champions league. Do we really need that nonsense? Dump the bloody group stages. The results in our group would be the same if we were drawn against Trumpton, Balamory and Holby City. Cut to the chase. Knock out straight away. Stop guaranteeing the big sides home game. And while I'm in a foul mood either rename it or only allow champions to play in it. If The Arsenal miss out then we should maybe stop losing at home to West Brom, win the league and take part as champions. There's a plan.

It's this feeling of disgust at the obscene amounts of money tarnishing the beautiful game that means we must beat those hideous bastards on Sunday. A shit little club made 'big' over night much like that other blue outfit in London. Chavscum north and south must be stopped. Maybe thin ice as The Arsenal aren't exactly poor but we can't compete with them financially so I see it as our duty to put these bastards in their place. Skill, coaching, scouting, tactics must defeat greed.

Anyway, if your job is on the line or you've lost income in these economic problems worry not as Wayne et al enjoy the high life safe in the knowledge our heroes won't give you a second thought.

Eastlower & Teddy Sherringham

2010-10-17T16:55:00.010+01:00

So what do we all make of that then? It was important to win and win we did but it never felt convincing. Yes we played them off the pitch as we have done with many teams this season yet it didn't seem that surprising when Birmingham scored. Not sure there is anyone to blame for a change. When a striker is 8 foot 6 all you can do is stop the cross. It was a good goal very much against the run of play. However, as we'd decided to not have a shot in honour of Hleb returning and they decided to have a header on target then maybe they deserved to be ahead.

The equaliser was richly deserved despite the calls for a dive. Rooney gets penalties like that (against us) so everyone calling him a cheat (Sky) can get lost. Even MOTD said it was and they hate us! Nasri had a shot on target and it was 1-1. Chamakh Made it 2-1 wit neat footwork after a masterful ball by Lil' Jack. What a player that boy is. Zigic should be thoroughly ashamed of himself for diving after a man a third of his size clipped his ankle but then Goliath did the very same thing when Lil' David took him on. Big pansies the pair of them. Jack took the red card on the chin despite not being able to reach Zigic's chin and we will miss him. Maybe the manager will have to play the club captain for a bit.

I thought that's where my day would end. However I met The Man From Eastlower outside where he furnished me with a customary late birthday present. I've know Eastlower for many years and we've being buying each other crap presents every year. We are both on the look out all year for appropriate tat. He handed me a gift bad with two gifts in. The first was a present to 'relive my past glories.' It was a mullet wig!

It would be rude to not put on a gift wig so it went on. I felt strangely at home. People got their camera phones out and before I knew it two young girls had their arms around me smiling for the cameras. Despite looking like Gerry Francis I felt briefly like a star. I can only think that, from behind, I looked like an Arsenal legend from the early 80's. When they found out it was a wig they left. The mullet pulls in the ladies!

The second gift was an LCD belt with a pre-programmed message that states 'I LOVE TEDDY SHERRINGHAM.' The Man from Eastlower - The True King of Tat. The pressure's on for Christmas.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

2010-10-03T18:25:00.003+01:00

I really shouldn't be writing this now. I need to calm down but I want to get this out the way so I never have to think about it again. Beaten by that scum again and it's getting a bit much.

Yesterday I drove a 120 mile round trip to see Cambridge City and Chippenham kick lumps out of each other only for City to lose 1-0 in the 92nd minute. Now The Arsenal kick me when I'm down.

Everything I say is in the heat of the moment. I told you I should've left it. I won't swear as I've used up all the unparliamentary words I know. I'm gutted, disappointed, annoyed. We were the better team. Were we? Possession was enormous but little was done with it. Take the chances.

I was sent for a walk after the second goal. What did they think the chav was doing in the wall? Helping us defend? Surprise surprise! He makes a hole and the ball sails through it. Song turned away. Unforgivable. Didn't see that at non-league.

Injuries, Drogba, Keeper worries (although he was nearly 'faultless' again!), strange loss at home to newly promoted side, injuries, midfield can't defend, injuries.

Same old same old.

Chavs. Scum. Beat.

2010-10-01T18:37:00.003+01:00

Now I've finished colouring in the Bieber book I can turn my thoughts to The Arsenal again. Tuesday night was a bit of a blur for me. I was still numb after Saturday and feared the worst. Fabianski was in goal. Nothing can go wrong now! He played well. Credit where it's due.

It was a decent performance with an even better result. The groups of the champs league are purely a money making exercise that needs getting to the end of. Hopefully we can put this nonsense to bed before 'matchday 5 & 6', stick some of the squad players in and dream of bigger 'matchdays!'

I'm pleased for Fabianski. Looks like he will start at the chavs and we need him in top condition. However, two saves does not a goalie make. His back catalogue is littered with crap. He's a 24 track double album with a hit single and 23 fillers. Dave Seaman was called Safe Hands because he had safe hands game in game out. We relied on him. He was never an issue or a worry. He made mistakes, humans do but his mistakes weren't a list. Indeed the itelephone just corrected 'dave' to 'save'. That's how safe Dave was. I miss Save Seaman. I know we need to get behind the players Arsene picks but Fabianski, & Almunia for that matter, need a lot more "faultless" games to convince me they are good enough for The Arsenal.

The Chav game is massive. I know about the points and all that but more important than anything is that club (and now Chav north too) are everything that's wrong with football. Owned by squillionares who don't care about the game and just throw money at it to get success. The Chav team is full of horrible young millionaires who spend and shag their way through life.

Arrrgggggggggggg

Look I really hate them. It's the thing that unites us all. It's the thing we have in common with the spuds. They must be stopped. The heroes in Red and White must step up and defeat the evil. There is so much more at stake then 3 points. The future of humanity rests with our starting 11. Stop tarting about and beat them.

And breath........

Pattie Malette in goal

2010-09-25T18:31:00.006+01:00

If we are going to lose to a team that we really should be beating ideally we play quite well and lose to a fluke or an error. Actually it's a shame we didn't lose solely because Almunia was hopeless. I could've had a rant about him and moved on. He played his part by being hopeless for the second goal and awful for the third but he was not to blame. Yes! I said it, Almunia was not to blame!

The man from Eastlower warned me to leave this blog until tomorrow. Let the dust settle. Don't say anything too rash. I feel calm. It was obvious from about 3.30 that we weren't on it today. I'm not blaming Almunia as the whole team were disgraceful. Ok, Almunia should've stopped 2 and 3. He is a mistake or two waiting to happen but we have been left with no viable alternative. We know this, it's old ground. What's very worrying is how the rest of the team gave so little. It was poor. There is no other way to say it. WBA deserved to beat us. 2-3 flattered us somewhat. Arsene needs to fix it and quickly. Chavscum (South) await us after a long away trip. The defence and Almunia had won me over but now I have the jitters.

It was my birthday yesterday. Spuds, Chavs and even Liverpool joined in to give me a little present. Arsenal! You let me down. Cambridge City nearly joined them but scrapped a 2-2 draw with Hitchin in the FA Cup. Just when I thought my afternoon couldn't get any worse I was presented with Justin Bieber's biography as a gift from a good friend! Eastlower and I have been trying to out crap each other with really bad gifts for years now and this friend wanted in. Well he is in, he's joined the crap gift club. He has set the bar high.

Not sure I found out anything today I didn't already know about the team. Hopefully it was an off day for the team. They can do better. Hopefully it was a bad day for Almunia. Not sure we have better. I did, however, find out that Justin Bieber is too young to have a biography and that his mother is called Pattie Mallette (as in Timmy) and Eastlower, his brother and my good self will be using it as a euphemism at every opportunity. Childish but the only thing that raised a smile today. Pattie, we salute you.

9.9 on the Twitcher Scale

2010-09-22T18:15:00.005+01:00

North London was rocked last night. It registered 9.9 on the Twitcher scale and how much fun was that? OK it's not a massively important win in the scheme of things. It's the cup we don't want to win but it's a victory, and a rather heavy victory at that, over our so called (geographical but certainly not aspirational) rivals. It puts them in their place. It shuts up their players who seem to think they are our equal. They are not our equal as by losing they have lost a genuine chance of winning a pot. They'd be happy to win that. Maybe we should too but we've got bigger things ahead of us. We might not win them but we might. They won't.

The first half was a joy. More lessons for 'arry to learn. We played them off the pitch. Great fun. The second half saw the introduction of their big guns if you can call Keane & Lennon 'big' or 'guns'. It paid off as a hopeless linesman who flagged us offside wrongly twice gave an offside Keane onside for the annoying got to pass it to Flappyhandski who made very little effort to stop it. Enough Arsene! Move him on.

Two clear penalties converted topped off with a nice move by Arshavin gave us an enormous win. Spud kids were crying as Gooners chanted "shall we make a DVD" & "are you tottenham in disguise" while the team played the 'wayhey' passing game. All the songs were coming out. Glad the pope is still telling the spuds where to go.

Arsene couldn't get a signal to text his substitutions. He knows how I feel in the Clock End when I try to text the man from Eastlower a rude word to describe a Bolton player. Imagine Eastlower's surprise as he goes through Arnos Grove an hour after the game ends and his phone pops up with 'Bast*rd'. Poor Pat's phone vibrated all night as he was trying to sleep.
A cracking nights work. Jack was immense despite being assaulted every 3 minutes. What a prospect. Spuds can only dream of such an English homegrown talent.

Glad to hear the spuds megastore (why do they need a megastore?!) was inundated with Gooners calling about the DVD. Good work. But there won't be a DVD. There won't be a t shirt or an open top bus parade because big clubs don't do that. We'll take the mick for a bit & move on to bigger and better things. But for the next few days we will enjoy it.
Altogether now

"we beat the Scum 4-1!"

The Breaks.

2010-09-19T11:17:00.004+01:00

The game against Braga was a work of art. It was Michelangelo (the artist not the turtle) painting the Sistine Chapel. Yesterdays game was like watching cement being delivered. It's not a criticism of the team. Every game is different. It was just hard work to watch and it looked hard work to play.

Sunderland pressed us harder than 3 Huddlestones in a lift. The majority of the match seemed to be played in our half with the defence playing heroics. Immediately after the match I tweeted that we were poor but that's unfair on half the team. I must learn not to tweet heat of the moment tweets (a sentence I thought I'd never write!)

Considering Kos and Squilly are a brand new couple I think they passed this test with flying colours. The defence defended while the keeper kept. Almunia looks like 'a new signing.' He's had a shot of confidence & is looking commanding. He's coming for the right things and took 2 or 3 corners well. I even heard him shout "keeper" at a cross. That's what we want. Scroll down this blog and you'll see I wanted him out. Replace him with Schwarzer, Scooby Doo, anyone. However, he's on his way to proving a lot of us wrong and I for one will be happy to eat humble pie with added hat if he turns it around. Good luck to him.

The ref obviously received an e mail 'straight from the FA' to send off an Arsenal player for next to nothing. Alex Song was selected for a rest. Rubbish but Song was silly to give the ref that option.

The missed penalty, which landed in my garden in Islington and missed my son's goal post too, was the killer really. If that goes in it's game over. Our 4th choice penalty taker looked like our 8th choice as he hit it higher than Bubbles from The Wire. Least us not forget that if Arshavin had maybe hit the target once with his chances Rosicky's miss would've been ok(ish).

Last minute winners are horrible if you let them in. Ask the scousers in 89 or the Sheffield Wednesday fans in 93. Yesterday we gave Sunderland a point they probably deserved. Bruce must've thought he was managing Man U as the ref played on and on and on until the home team in red scored. If Darren Bent had an ounce of decency he'd have put that wide and celebrated with our team but he forgot himself.

A brief mention to my other team, Cambridge City, who beat Weymouth 3-0 away. 6 points clear after only 9 games with 7 consecutive clean sheets. Marvellous.

Onwards and upwards Gooners. Who's next? Oh yes, them! Weakened team to give them a chance? Weakened team wheels, deals, teaches them a lesson and gives 'arry a twitch? I hope so. Release our win on DVD? Never.

2010-09-16T18:58:00.002+01:00

Those blokes at UEFA clearly don't have jobs, kids, homework, football training. They dont have to feed the kids or wash the kids because if they did they would be late like us. And that ladies and gentleman is the only moan on the most perfect of perfect evenings

I sat in my seat at 7.55 and within seconds was up again cheering the opening goal. Many things might make is late but The Arsenal were good enough to wait for me before they scored. Thanks lads.

Not sure where to go now. This is so much easier if there is a goalie or slow old defender to moan about. There isn't. It's really quite hard to say any more than that was fantastic, marvellous, wonderful and every player, to a man, were fantastic too. The Arsenal hardly got out of second gear and won 6-0. Perfect.

I remember coming out of Highbury during the unbeaten season and meeting up with the Man from Eastlower. We had little to say but 'that was great again'. There is so much more to say and argue about when things are going badly. Tonight was a 'that was great' evening.

It's nights like this that make me realise how lucky we are as Gooners. Some of the football and all the goals were delightful. Indeed if 'arry saw any of that he might learn a lesson.

This perfect evening was made complete with the two ends of the stadium singing in turn the 'We're the North Bank / clock end highbury' song.

Here's to many more games this season where there's little to debate.

That would be perfect.

Just The Ticket

2010-09-13T21:02:00.005+01:00

This season is ticking along nicely. We are beating everyone we should only dropping points away at Liverpool which is fine. However at half time I was slightly concerned. We'd started slowly, scored, were missing chance after chance, then conceded a sloppy equaliser. That was last season football and we don't want that back.

The goal we conceded was so poor I immediately blamed Almunia on twitter. I saw him rush out (which was fine) but then having lost the man he followed him (which was not fine) I felt he should've got back in goal. I got a twit slap for blaming him & when I saw it on the jumbotrons I apologised. In the heat of the moment I've become conditioned to blame our keepers and I know I need to stop. When my car was broken into recently I'm sure I saw a man with zebra arms running away.

The second half was this season football and I like it. They'll moan about the sending off but it's not our fault the ref was utterly hopeless. What about the reds he missed for Robinson and Davies or the clear penalties we should've had. It was all rounded of with a sexy little beauty of a goal. 476 passes led to a sublime ball to Vela who tried something new by unchipping in into the corner. 4-1 was fair. Indeed 7-1 would've been fair had Arshavin not been wearing Crocs. However, that's only a minor gripe. If we score 4 he's allowed to miss chances. If we are 1-0 down it won't be so ok.

The biggest disappointment was Bolton. I kept reminding myself as I climbed the stairs of the clock End that Bolton are no longer bastards. They play football now Fat Sam has gone. Well they don't. They played very little and joined the list of teams that are too scared to do anything else but kick us. They are just not that good at it anymore. It's pleasing that we seem to be able to deal with it now.

Next stop Champions League. Must be very exciting if you are a spud although I'm sure they'll come back down to earth quicker than Wayne skydiving towards a hooker.

Non League Day - Sept 4th 2010

2010-09-01T06:45:00.009+01:00

I know this is an Arsenal blog but anyone who has read it or follows me on Twitter will know that from time to time I mention another. I once described The Arsenal as the wife and Cambridge City as the mistress but that suggests cheating and secrecy. The Arsenal won't mind I sneak off to see someone else when they are away from home. The two can exist together as the chances of them ever meeting is slim.

Saturday 4th September has been declared 'Non League Day' as there is no club or international football that day. It's the brainchild of James Doe, a lifelong football fan and supporter of Harrow Borough FC. Its aim is to promote the semi professional game in this country by virtue of a fortuitous break in the football calendar.

My dad travelled to London in the 60s and 70s on the train to watch football. It was not a place for a child. He saw too much fighting for him to take me. The crush on the platform was the final straw. Cambridge City, the local non-league club, were the safer option. He'd watched them with his dad and now he was taking me. They had a wonderful wooden stadium which I remember feeling as big as Wembley. I even saw them play The Arsenal once in a friendly. Pat Rice led the team out. Money worries led them to sell their 'Wembley' to developers and build a small ground around the training pitch next door. They lose that ground at the end of the season and with it go many of my memories of my dad.

He always stood in the same place with the same people. John, always pessimistic, Jed, who made me laugh with every comment, Whizz, with his headphone for latest scores. Dad knew Whizz for 30 years but didn't know his real name! When my dad died in 1999 I didn't go for 4 years. It was our place and I couldn't go without him.

But I returned with my son and he loves it too. The old faces have gone. They're not standing where we always stood. I don't stand there either. That was our spot.

I urge you, this weekend to support non league day. These clubs need your support. You can get into the game, buy a programme, raffle tickets, a tea and a burger and still have change from £20. Many clubs are offering special deals on Saturday. City are letting anyone showing a season ticket to a Premiership or Championship team in free!

So on Saturday my son and I will drive from (near) The Arsenal up the M11 to see City vs Stourbridge in the Zamaretto Premier League.

If you fancy it go to http://www.nonleagueday.co.uk/ where there is a map of games so you can find your nearest. Go on, you won't regret it.

Video from http://www.youtube.com/user/citymatchdayvideo. This is such a valuable service for us fans who've moved away & I hope the club don't mind me borrowing it for my blog! (Right click & select show all if you can't see the goals!)