Who stole St Tottringham's Day?

Right, let's face facts. We have a very average team on our hands here. I've been thinking it all season but I think today has confirmed it. We lost. Fair enough but we weren't beaten by the totts. We have beaten ourselves so often in the past few seasons I'm starting to think it is actually us who are the wankers.

Some were saying that was our best performance of the season. Some were saying there were positives. Some were saying we got some pride back.

WE LOST TO TOTTENHAM!

If that was our best then we are in real trouble. We could've won that. We probably should've but we didn't. Brad Friedal had virtually nothing to worry him yet Sczzzzzer made some world class saves. We are no better than the spuds. That's where we are now. A fair to middling average team that will beat the likes of Bolton at home but will self destruct against the likes of Blackburn away.

We had chances but not many. RVP wasn't given one while Unlucky blasted over and Gervinho, with his hair out of his eyes like theatre curtains, somehow missed the target. The forwards (for they cannot be called strikers) let us down. The defence however was consistent. They let two soft ones past them. The first, a floated ball that Mertesacker and Sagna decided to ignore rolled down Van De Vaart's arm onto his boot and into our net. I couldn't give a Bale's uncle that it was a handball. The point is nobody was near him to stop him hand balling it. The second was just sloppy from just about everyone. We twated about in clearing it and Walker thumped it. Nobody went to close him down and he found a gap in our defence big enough to drive a burning bus through on it's way to fill up at Sports Direct. Song was miles out of position, the ball flew through where he should've been and Sczzzzzer fumbled it. Maybe a goalie error but I'll let him off because he is the only one keeping us in games at the moment. Song, despite being 5 yards from the ball, turned his back on it. Unforgivable! He did it at Chelsea and he's done it again. For a big man he's a bit soft. Is he worried that if the ball hits him all the dye will fall out of his hair and he won't look like a dickhead anymore? I don't want to pick on him as he was pulled all over the place due to our left back having a free role but today I seemed to be shouting at him more and more for being pushed off the ball and looking lost. Not his fault he's in the back four but I'm too irrational to be fair at the moment!

So we sit tonight 15th in the league after 7 games. We have amassed 7 points from those games so to describe us as average might be a bit kind. As it stands we are no good. How do you rate Everton and Wolves? That's how good we are. It's a brave and a bit shit new world. We need to stop worrying about the old rivals as they have changed. We need to hope Sunderland and WBA lose not Man U or Chelsea. We are in the poo and we need to scrape ourselves up this table but while we miss chance after chance and refuse to defend the bottom half will become a familiar home. We need to back this squad, what else can we do as fans? Yet, forgive me for not looking forward to the next game or the one after that. They could be wins. They could be loses. With this bunch your guess is as good as mine.


Exclusive offer to all readers. Fly anywhere in the world on Poland's newest airline at your own expense. 99% of the time Fly Szczesny flies through the air successfully. Rarely does it crash and burn like Easy Almunia.