Monday, 25 April 2011

Is It A Bird? A Plane? NO! It's a CORNER!

I wasn't going to bother to write a blog following the debacle at the Reebok. What's the point I thought. I have nothing left to say about this side that I, and a million other bloggers, haven't said on numerous occasions this season.

......blah leaders.......blah blah...................tippy tappy...........blah..........SHOOOOT!.........corners are STILL a surprise........blah blah..............need experience.................blah blah...................when will they learn?...........blah.......Blah....BLAH BLAH BLOODY BLAH!

The frustration we feel is because of the potential we see before us. Many Arsenal fans have thought it's the hope that kills us. Sometimes I wish we were just shit. It might be easier to take! Imagine if Almunia was the best keeper we had. Imagine if Igor Stepanovs was our best defender while Jimmy Carter was our most creative midfielder. Imagine if our strongest front two were Chris Kiwomya and Lee Chapman. Imagine if David O'Leary was manager! We would finish 13th because we would be shit. This team and squad and manager are not shit. Arsene has hit perfection before and he can again. The players are not half-arsed journeymen. They are highly trained internationals who know what they are doing so why do they hide it so well?. So why oh bloody why can't they defend corners? Why can't they shoot? Why can't they defend 2 goal leads or 4 goal leads? Why can't they beat a poor Birmingham side in a cup final? Why can't they? WHY?

However, we will qualify for the group stages of the £££££££ league and that's the measure of success now. The board will go through the motions of trophy talk but they believe that a potless 3rd is a lot more valuable than a domestic cup double and 5th. Old ground!

Also remember how every pundit had written us off before the season started. Spuds and man c were guaranteed to finish above us. 'arry's a genius and the scarf wearing twat was chucking money away of players nobody wanted. £££££££ League? They were having a laugh. Haven't we done well pundits?

Anyway, this season has crashed to a pathetic halt against a team that crapped itself at Wembley. Staggering. We now find ourselves in a position where if we lose to man u (likely) we hand them the title or if we beat them (likely too!) we let Chavscum (south) in. Dog poo sandwich of a dog turd sandwich anyone?

Remember we are financially sound and we have an enormous amount of mental strength to fall back on. I'm going to camp out all night to get a good view of the open top bus parade. The players are going to drive the bus using only the power of their minds while Silent Stan holds aloft a bank statement. We are the envy of other clubs. Trophies are so last year (or the year before that or even before that. It's been so long I forget.)

I don't want Arsene out. I won't entertain the thought. We know what he can do and I hope he does it again. Remember Allardyce is looking for a job. Be careful what you wish for. We need big changes but not that BIG!

That's more than enough.

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

End of My Tether

When I started this blogging nonsense The Man from Eastlower gave me one piece of advice. Never blog straight after a game when you are cross. I'm going to ignore that advice! I'm not cross. I'm furious. My fury is not really isolated to tonight's game. Week in week out this side has been pushing me closer to the edge, further along, and tonight I think the end of the tether has been reached. I've had enough.

Tonight's game was a classic. Two teams playing at the top of their game but I only care about one team. I thought we played well. Better than for a long time. We looked full of desire and that cannot be faulted. However, yet again we squandered another lead and that's why it's hard to accept.

Defensively we are shit. There is no other word for it. We have twice let two goal leads slip to the spuds this season because we are clueless. Defending should start at the front yet ours doesn't even start at the back. We can argue all night long about whether the spuds goals were great undefendable goals or not but it doesn't change the fact that at 3-1 up away from home you should be able to shut up shop. Moments after the penalty they carved us open on the other side and we were lucky not to go 4-3 down. SZEZ balls saved another late on.

I'm reading Paul Merson's book at the moment and I've just read that in 1991 The Arsenal could get a battering, Ian Wright would break away and score and the opposition's heads would drop as they knew Dixon, Winterburn, Adams and Bould would shut up shop protected by the midfield. It's not a new idea is it? Defending a lead to win a game? When we score now the opposition don't think they have no chance. They know we panic and they go for it and usually score themselves. Get Steve Bould away from the Under 18s and get him in to teach us how to bloody defend properly.

The title was there for the taking but as it stands we have slipped to 3rd and the FA have asked our players to present Man U with the trophy on a bloody big plate. Man U are average at best and yet we can't pull ourselves above that. 8 points from the last 18 is crap and the fact Man U aren't out of reach by now proves they are nothing special.

I really don't know what else to say. The same old problems are there. I could just cut and paste the same blog every week. We have blown it. It was in our hands and now we are 3rd. You lose the right to draw away if you get 3 draws at home on the spin so I'd say a draw tonight having been 3-1 up is rubbish.

There, never write a blog when you're cross (or furious!)

Sunday, 17 April 2011

Don't Blame It On The Sunshine.....

....Blame it on Ferguson. Why do we let that man into our ground? Somehow he is able to impose Fergie Time onto games that his horrid little team aren't even playing in. He uses his Jedi Mind Tricks to turn 8 minutes into 11 and make Eboue lose his head in the box. It seems staggering a team can go 1-0 up in the 98th minute and somehow not win. Remember this team can lead 4-0 at half time away and not win or lead 2-0 at home against their biggest local rival and lose. Nothing surprises us Gooners anymore.

I do have some sympathy for Arsene about his gripe about the extra 3 minutes in the extra 8 minutes. However, had the team not twatted about for the previous hour and a half then the 99th, 100th and 101th minutes wouldn't be an issue. It really was more of the same. It's odd really that after a season of awful defending it's our inability to score more than 1 goal at home in 3 matches against beatable opposition that has really finished us off. Even the most positive of Gooners must see now that the dream is over and we must fight hard for 2nd place. What's so frustrating is Man U are nothing special and the title was there for the taking. Man U will be Champions by virtue of being the least shit of us all.

Another frustration is it's another game we dominated from beginning to end and failed to win. Liverpool seemed to hardly have a kick as they ran around injuring themselves. At the end they had players on that made our boys seem middle-aged and yet we still couldn't break them down. They broke the FIFA guidelines on how many ponytails are allowed on the pitch at any one time and they had a bloke called Jonjo which is not even an acceptable name for a dog. His brother Bingo and his sister Banjo were, however, proud of his performance. It's all so predictable and we are often accused of having no plan B. Sometimes I'm not sure we even have a plan A as tippy tappying the ball about looking for the perfect opening surely can't be a plan. Can it?

Our breakthrough came when the ref gave us a penalty in the 98th minute. I like penalties as they force us to shoot. Can't tippy tap a penalty around the team before letting it roll out for a goal kick. Nobody show the team the video below. If it's good enough for Henry and Pires......

Anyway, RVP took a splendid penalty and we were home and dry. Well any other club would be. Ferguson's mind control over the ref let Liverpool attack & get a free kick. It turned Eboue into a defender with the touch of Gunnersaurus who fell on top of a scouser and they equalised in the 2nd minute of our next match.

Collapsing comically is now apparently known as 'doing an Arsenal' and who can argue. Dogs roaming parks without owners are 'doing an Arsenal' (lost their lead!) Gooners are no longer given babies or freshly born lambs as we can't hold onto anything. Arsene said after the game we have to bounce back. What? Again? We are starting to make Tigger look lethargic.

I'm not expecting massive changes in the transfer policy now Silent Stan is in charge but we need to freshen up this side. Every game we fail in is a game nearer to the heart of the team, or Cesc as we know him, leaving. His frustration must be at boiling point. I don't think it would take much but I do think it's time to buy some experience. A player to match the signing of David Platt when he came to us in 1995. A 'been there, done that' player. 88 appearances and 13 goals later he was gone with honours in his back pocket. We need a Plattesque signing or two. That won't kill any younger players. It will make them better, stronger winners. They must all be sick of being the bridesmaids that are promised a shag but eventually don't even get a peck on the cheek.

Onwards to the place that 50 years ago today celebrated their last league title. 50 years! And we are moaning about being 2nd!

Rest in Peace the 96 who went to football, just like you and I do every week, but never went home.

Rest in Peace Danny Fiszman. A true Arsenal gentleman to the end. I hope his vision of where The Arsenal are going can continue in his honour.

Sunday, 10 April 2011

Eboue Do Like to Be Beside The Seaside

Well that's more like it. It seems a very long time ago The Arsenal actually won a game they were supposed to win. I must admit being slightly nervous after the last few weeks so it was a nice surprise not having a surprise as far as the result went.

However, there was a surprise in goal as the keeper soap opera took another shocking turn. Rumours Jens buried Alunia up to his neck on Blackpool beach have not been confirmed. The tide is coming in or has it just turned. It didn't take him long to get his spot back and I'm happy to see him there. Apart from Torres has any player dropped in form more quickly than Almunia? His confidence is on it's arse. He is no longer a mistake waiting to happen. He is just a mistake. I feel for him. I really do. He seems like a very nice bloke but maybe too sensitive to take the flack. He looks permanently worried which doesn't help. His time is up and it might sound mad but I think we'd be mad not to stick with Mad Jens.

Blackpool started well but we weathered that and scored an embarrassingly easy goal as the orange back four played musical statues as Diaby strolled in to score. He may have been out in the party game but we were 1-0 up. Never been totally convinced by Diaby. Sometimes you want to shake him to wake up the obvious talent that sleeps through most games but today he looked alive. Without thrusting unfair comparisons upon him he looked, on occasion, Vieiraesque!

The second was a joy too. Eboue, Tinkerbell, Gunnersaurus, call him what you will, scored a cracker. He stormed into the box and unleashed one past Kingston. 2-0 and only 5 goals away from relaxing. Of course we would concede and we were lucky to as well. Had Blackpool not scored I fear RVP would've been facing a penalty. As it was Lee Mason made a good shout and allowed play to continue despite fouls by Jack and Jens. Blackpool scored, Jack was booked, Jens was let off and we all started to worry. Mason let us play on when Blackpool should've had a penalty and soon after that a superb (Yes! You heard right) tackle by Squillaci led to more Capt Pat impersonations by Diaby as Theo raced on to a long ball allowing RVP to win us the game. Lovely stuff and a reminder of The Arsenal we have all lamented over the last few weeks.

Half way through the first half I tweeted, 'A huge shadow looms over our defence' to which I had a mixed response. There was literally a huge shadow from the stadium covering our penalty area. I was trying to be ironic or sarcastic or something but my goodness you do get some precious responses to perceived criticism. Well done to all that got it. You win a biscuit of your choice.

Right, it's late and I'm on holiday so a bit out of it but I must mention the imminent take over of our wonderful club by Stan Kroenke. I'm not sure what to make of it yet. Maybe I should quote Colin Murray on MOTD2 and say, 'We're not sure what it means so we'll just move on!' I hope it means things won't change a great deal. Things are going OK. I know we all get frustrated by no trophies but we need some perspective. The club sees success as Champions League qualification. Any cups that come our way are a bonus. Fans see cups first but finishing top 4 is the only measure of success now. The domestic cups just are not 'worth' (in financial terms) winning. It's a crying shame but it's the truth. If we won the domestic cup double as we did in 1993 but finished 5th or worse then that would be a disaster. Finish empty handed and 4th and we are successful. Don't blame the club. Blame the Champions League. We need that money more than a trip to Wembley or even the title. By saying I want Kroenke to keep things as they are is not a negative statement. Of course I want to see Cesc lift a pot but we as fans need to change our ideas about success today. The Champions League moved the goal posts out of the stadium and across the road. It's become vital and teams like the spuds have already said they may have to sell if they don't get top 4. Arsene has delivered that every year and a new stadium too. I don't want massive money signings with dodgy money. I want Jacks to come through the ranks. I want Ramseys to be nurtured. I want things done the Arsenal way. Stan remember that (or you can forget about getting your hands on my 1/100th of a share!)

Sunday, 3 April 2011


At no point yesterday did I feel angry or surprised at the teams total lack of drive or urgency. I've slowly lost faith in this side and have been boring Mrs Feverpitch and Son of Feverpitch all season with my 'I'm not sure they are any good' comments. By that I mean special and to win the league you need that special something. We are second so we are not that bad but we are not special. Anyone who's been lucky enough to see us win league titles will know what I mean.

To win a cup you need luck of the draw and performances on the day. Winning the FA Cup or, dare I say it, the Milk Cup does not make you a special side. Winning the league does. Man U this season are not a great team but what they did yesterday smacks of winners. I'm not sure we have that in us. We are more likely to give a 2 goal lead away (or even a 4 goal lead!)

The most frustrating thing is we obviously have the quality and we are beating ourselves. Every time we get down the wing a cross is lumped into the box to nobody. Everyone is so interested in passing that shooting is seen as an opportunity to give away possession. Yesterday was appalling and it followed Sunderland at home which was appalling too. Since sneaking past Stoke on Feb 23rd we have only beaten Orient. Champions anyone?

The staggering thing about a team that has lost at home to WBA, Newcastle and the spuds is that at 5.30pm yesterday the league title was in our own hands. That's how special Man U are. Yet we tossed it away like John Terry and friendship. I feel lower than the ratings of a Katie Price TV show about yesterday and yet I wasn't surprised. I got criticised on Twitter yesterday when I wrote,

'Maybe we should let Blackburn score, get it out the way and show 'character' by snatching a draw.'

I was accused of being cynical! Oh yes! Well I pay an awful lot of money to watch millionaires not give a shit so I'm allowed a bit of cynicism. I didn't boo at the end but I understand the people who did. I was too bored to boo. I'd been beaten down by another lethargic home display. The highlight of the day was that I can walk home although it was more like a trudge home as we tried to work out why these men don't want prizes.

Almunia is no longer a mistake waiting to happen. He's happened. As someone said on twitter 'Almunia's done an Almunia.' Enough said.

Things need to change in the summer. I'm not saying Arsene's time is done as I'm firmly on his side. Apparently fans were physically fighting each other over this in the ground yesterday. We have our own civil war on our hands. I'm on the Wengerists side and we will defeat you with our beautiful attacking formations but if you attack us we may well crumble. It might be too late to win back the AntiArsene Brigade but what the Boss has done for the club as a whole cannot be so easily forgotten. We might not get pots, bottling it might be called 'doing an Arsenal', we might not have a statue to Michael Jackson but look where the club is now in the world compared to say, the spuds. The finances are strong,the future's bright and we must not forget that.

Having said all that we do all live in the now and at the moment I've lost faith in this squad. We need an injection of fresh players. We need to stop all these bargain buys as nothing special has ever been found in Lidl. Since the Carling Cup final can any of us really say we've looked like champions? We just need to play out the season and make sure we get 2nd. We need to get rid of the pointless players and bring in some hungry winners. People who don't walk about the pitch. People who will get furious when things go wrong. We need leaders across the pitch. We need strength and power. We need more players with the Rocastle mentality. More players like Jack.

I grew up having to watch Liverpool dominate everything and I remember Souness saying what made them great was that if a team wanted to play they would play them off the pitch and if they wanted to fight they would fight them to defeat. Special.