Friday, 31 December 2010

Happy New Year Gooners

Just a quick post to wish each and every Gooner worldwide (except Piers Morgan) a happy and prosperous 2011. Raise a glass to by far the greatest team the world has ever seen and toast the forthcoming unbeaten year full of goals and clean sheets.

Our new central defender, seen below in an exclusive picture, will make a difference.

I was going to do a review of the year but can't remember it it such detail as to do it justice. So briefly, my highlight was probably beating the filthy chavs last week. My lowlight happened at Wigan when we caved in to lose 3-2. The game that sums The Arsenal's year up is spuds at home where we were brilliant and utter shit all in the space of 90 minutes. That was our 2010. Brilliance with a smattering of shite.

Anyway next year will be different. The team will come of age and we will win cups. The new signings will gel immediately and we will once again reign supreme. The chavs (north and south) and mancs will be beaten on a regular basis while the spuds will never get the chance to release another DVD. Crap like Newcastle, West Brom, Wigan and Stoke RFC will be routinely thrashed.

My off the field highlights are the explosion of Arsenal blogs and the fun of Twitter. It's like watching games with hundreds of like minded people who all hate the opposition with the odd classic tweet from the players themselves. Shezesczzzzney (I'll learn the spelling when he is first choice) making a lovely comment about Ca$hley was class. I also enjoyed Lansbury asking why people hated Ca$hley and getting a million replies of, 'because he's a c*^t! Brilliant.

Happy New Year Gooners. Have a good one, don't drink too much and get to bed. 2011 starts tomorrow and there's a game on. Come on you RIP ROARING REDS!

Thursday, 30 December 2010

Victoria Constant Inconsistent

How many times have we been here? The high of a good win shattered by a poor performance. Why are we depressed? Why are we even surprised. Majestic one game, crap the next. Against Spuds at home we were both in the same game.

Much was made on Twitter about the 8 changes before the game. Didn't Wolves get in trouble for 8 changes? There was very little support for it. The boys from Monday, much like us fans, we riding a wave of optimism and that probably should've been used against Wigan. Maybe one or two changes but 8? I can understand Arsene's thinking. He is very protective of his players, too much sometimes, but he would argue that everyone in the squad should be able to play and deliver. However we broke a massive barrier on Monday by finally beating a major rival and to break that up so dramatically proved to be an error in judgement. Arsene would argue that the team he picked should have enough to beat a team in the bottom 3 and I agree but the confidence of beating the chavs has been wasted. That confidence can't be bought and we haven't had a lot of it lately and it's criminal to have lost it so easily.

I hate these midweek games ignored by TV and radio. You spend your evening looking for streams from God knows where, shouting as a shot goes in as your picture freezes. Many thanks to the Gooners on Twitter sending me a flood of streams. Got a good one in the end but not sure the performance warranted the effort. These are the games that will win you the league. A point isn't good enough.

Something Arsene can't be criticised for is the shit referee. Their penalty was a clear dive by N'a N'cheating, N'diving N'bastard. The more you see it the less contact there is. N'twat was rightly sent off later for headbutting Jack, who went down like a pro. Good lad! There was the clearest of clear handballs at the end, which would've led to the worry of a penalty, that the ref ignored. If only he had been the ref against the spuds when the Capt did the very same thing. Inconsistency is the only constant it seems. But let's not blame the ref. We should have enough.

We scored two good goals despite playing like muppets and I expected us to take control. It never really happened. 2-1 up and now they are a man down. Come on The Arsenal, put this game to bed. Oh no, they have a corner, it's a deep one, the defence run around like school kids, goalie goes walk about - 2-2! Crap.

Under normal circumstances we would be out of it by now. It's the general crapness of all the teams that has kept this season alive. If any team had gone on a decent run they would be so far clear it would be over. And that's where the frustration stems from. Why can't that team be us? Well it's because we have cut price defenders and a goalkeeper who isn't good enough. We have our best defenders injured and half injured. We can't defend set pieces. We don't build on confidence building wins.

The central defenders aren't good enough. Kos was bought as a squad player and injuries have thrust him into many more games than planned. He's done quite well but he's not ready. Squilly too makes basic errors consistently. Are we really going to win the league with these two? Be honest! Fabianski. Does he give the aura of a Premiership winning keeper? Be honest! He is improving but still a mistake waiting to happen. Arsene himself says no one take control of set pieces. No surprise really is it?

We won't win the league this season. There, I said it. This team has proved time and again that a run of form is beyond them. Would a draw at Birmingham be any more surprising than a win (or a loss!) We're an unpredictable roller coaster. Victoria Constant Inconsistent.

Monday, 27 December 2010

I Hate The Chavs

Deep down in our heart of hearts we didn't expect that did we? We all knew the team could produce a performance like that but so often this season it's been rubbish. Not tonight! That was everything I hoped for. They showed passion, commitment and a real desire to beat the evil chavs. We not only won but we deserved to win.

Bringing in Djourou was a popular (and right) decision. He is clearly our best fit defender and was superb. Dropping Arshavin was also popular (and right.) I must admit I didn't expect to win. The performances this season have left me thinking that we can lose to anyone (and we have!) but tonight I saw The Arsenal come alive. We were better than the team that bought the title and left feeling proud. We can do it. We can. It makes all those silly defeats seem all the worse. Imagine where we would be now had we beaten the teams we are easily capable of beating.

I think I enjoy nothing more than beating those bastards. Due to my family being split between London clubs I was brought up to hate that lot. I've hated them since Kerry Dixon! The fact they are a small club whose only chance of success was to be taken over and pumped full of money makes it easier to hate them. Most of their players are scum (see picture) and their fans are worse. Their fans have started a punch up on The Arsenal bridge as I write this and there are police everywhere. They started the night singing 'that' song about Wenger. Classless scum.

So David Mellor, Tim Lovejoy, Suggs, Bubble from Big Brother, John Major and every glory hunting kid under 12 years old - your small, historyless club took one hell of a beating and long may it continue until you slip back to mid table where you belong. Find a chav tomorrow and take the piss. Enjoy it, they deserve it.

So onwards to two away games. 9 points this week would be fantastic and well within our grasp. Please don't let this be a one off. Prove to us you have what it takes to take this league by the scruff. Tonight was The Arsenal's Christmas gift to us fans. Make it a Happy New Year.

What a night!

Thursday, 23 December 2010

Happy Christmas Gooners one and all.

I had a fantastic pre Christmas blog planned. I was off, with my son, to the festive members day on Tuesday and this was going to be filled with pictures and sarcastic comments about how they don't seem to be doing any defensive training. We had an e mail too saying we could meet the players in an exclusive signing session. The M&S lunch had been bought and we were ready. Bit of snow and it's unsafe to go! It wasn't long ago that you could walk on an icy pavement and if you fell over you were an idiot. Not anymore. Icy pavements mean claim time so let's just call everything off and stop the idiots leaving home.

I found some old video of the open top bus parade from 1993 and I thought I might post that as a festive treat but would it post? Would it hell so I've resorted to two badly made Christmassy pictures of our boys. Rubbish I know but nobody slipped over in making them and nobody has been sued.

So what do we all want for Christmas? A big new defender would be lovely. Some consistency with a bow on it please. Beating one of our rivals with extra stuffing would do nicely. Gooners to appreciate what we've got rather than moaning about being second, in a semi...etc. Yes I know but moaning is what us football fans do best. We all secretly love it. There is so much more to say when things are going badly. There's not too much to moan about at the moment. OK 'could do better' springs to mind but this team isn't perfect. We all know that. The invincibles they are not but we are doing OK and that's not a bad place to be.

So just the chavs at home and Wigan away to see out the year. 6 points in the bag? Oh how merry would Christmas be and how happy will new year be if we turn over the chavs? Good will to all men and all that but not to them. A team full of bastards who deserve a beating. That's the (festive) spirit!

With that I wish you all a Merry Red and White, Yellow and Blue Christmas. We are The Arsenal and we are the best, we are The Arsenal so f*ck all the rest. Have a cracker Gooners one and all.

Tuesday, 21 December 2010

Saturday, 18 December 2010

Swine of a Flu.

Told you it was Barca didn't I? Don't know quite why they go through the rigmarole of a draw. We get Barca while the MancTwats and ChavScum (southern section) get easy trips to nice places. Oh well, it's our own fault for playing like mugs in Portugal. We may beat them or we may lose but either way we will have to do it without Silvestre. Ohhhh Baby. Let us just all pray or ask Father Christmas for the ability to defend by then as they won't just rip us a new one, they will measure up, send us a quote and have it installed professionally unless we wake up at the back. Worried? It's the fever talking.

I've been in bed since last Saturday. No I'm not a student. I've had a lovely bout of flu. The cynical lady in the chemist told me it is swine flu but the Government don't want people to have swine flu as the country is depressed enough. So due to the recession I just have flu. Christ I thought I might die! This was no man flu. There is no cure. Drink lots and eat bacon (hair of the dog?) I watched the MancTwat away game and assumed the team were that lethargic through my eyes as my days were numbered but apparently they were that shit. All I remember from that game is the irony of the miners getting out early and of all the people in the ground who looked like they had been underground for 2 months it was David Beckham who has obviously decided not to wash his hair until we get awarded a world cup final.

I was really pleased for Sczezcezezczny. He looked confident and is tall enough to have Shrek's penalty covered. How we laughed when the grannie lover lover cocked that up but sadly it was still closer to going in to anything we tried. It was a poor show.

So on to today. A desperate search for someone to take son of Feverpitch to the game ended abruptly as a ton of snow fell in Islington in less than an hour. How could Ryan Shawcross be expected to time his perfect tackles in such conditions? Good to see the council doing their best to not run out of grit by not using any at all. The alternate twitter commentary was entertaining but told a story. 'Run Arshavin you lazy....', 'Row Z Clichy Row Z', 'Oh no that looks bad for RVP' were just a few telling tweets.

In other news we have signed ourselves an new player. Japanese wonder kid Ryo Miyaichi joins us in January and he has been described as a cross between Theirry Henry and Christiano Ronaldo. A magnificent cu^t then! Good luck fella (can you play in goal?)

Friday, 10 December 2010

Barcelona, Bell-ends and Belgrade

So it's Barcelona in the next round then. I know it is yet to be confirmed but we all know it will be. It's in the stars. We can feel it in our water. My mock draw using scraps of paper during a particularly dull bit of the day gave us Barcelona so get used to it. Our top of the table, semi final defence will once again be tested by Mr Messi.

Belgrade was a delight! For a game of 4 goals it's quite odd that nothing happened. However, for once, we played badly and won rather than playing well and not winning. I prefer the winning bit without the not. The penalty was a bit soft but you take what your given. Van Persie's strike tested the net. The goalie sensibly got out of the way. The equaliser would have been unbelievable had we not all seen it coming. So now we were worried. The team didn't lift themselves and it was with relief that the lethargic Arshavin was taken off for a boy full of Red Bull. Theo injected life into the side, scored a great goal to set up the Barca showdown (You know it!) Another lovely goal by the boy Nasri and we were home and finally dry. It's just a shame the shoddy nonsense the team served up in Portugal has led to (quite probably) Barcelona. Let's sort out that soft centre between now and then and give them a game.

Bell-End news has been lively this week. First up was cockney Bell-end Mike Ashley who deemed Chris Houghton not good enough and replaced him with a man I'm sure we all had pencilled in to take over from the great Arsene when that unthinkable day arrives. Good luck to Newcastle and their new Messiah.

This was followed up with Prince Bell-end Evra who was none to kind about our great club. Well all it proved was that he is a dick and Man Utd still employ dicks just like the good old days of Sherringham and Keane.

Onto Monday where I'd love to see the dicks get one hell of a spanking.


Saturday, 4 December 2010

Soft Centre Point

Top of the league! If the FA feel like stopping the Premier League today as a protest to FIFA I'll support them. Champions! That would be grand.

How a goal can change things. At half time there were rumblings in the crowd. We'd started brightly (as we usually do), could've been 4-0 up but contrived to be huffing and puffing at 1-1 with a team flirting with the bottom 3. The centre of our defence could not be softer if we had the caramel bunny playing back there.
Time and again Fulham pushed the ball between our middle two and at one point the linesman was our best defender. Today's game was dedicated to CentrePoint. Maybe it should've been dedicated to CentreHalf. It's a real worry. It will cost us. It probably already has.

May I remind you we are top of the league while I'm having a moan. However this isn't a negative moan. It's a frustrated moan about how close we are to greatness. We've lost at home 3 times in games we should've won. This is not complacency on my part. We didn't lose because of a dodgy ref, a deflected goal or a turned down penalty. We lost to Newcastle, WBA and Spurs because on those 3 days we were crap. Coming up is a massive WHAT IF but had we turned up on those 3 days and played the way we know we can we'd be 10 points clear. ARRRRRRRRRGGGGG! Imagine that!! They were games we threw away. I know all other teams will have a list of 'what ifs' but I don't care about them. I care about what we seem determined to throw away. If we miss out on the big one by a few points it will be unbearable.

Today's win is obviously fantastic and thank goodness it's not in that list above. However it's in the list with West Ham and Birmingham. It was hard work of their own making. The turning point was Koscielny knocking himself out during a bit of defending we've become accustomed to. It was shambolic but it led to our best fit defender coming off the bench. How awful do we need to be before Djourou is considered for a start? He looks commanding and attacks everything. The balls through the centre were snuffed out. He needs to be first choice now.

Fabianski polished his reputation again but the fact he kept us in it at one point underlines the softness of our centre. And someone please have a word with Song. He thinks he's Messi and Henry's love child and it needs to stop. The softness starts in the centre of the midfield and he once did a fine job there. If this continues I'd drop him until his highlights grow out. Oh I miss Gilberto.

So rant over! We are in a Semi final, top of the league, touching distance of the next bit of the Champions League and yet I'm cautious. I just hope the end of the season isn't filled with regret where a tinker here and a few quid spent there would have ended in euphoria. Don't blow it Arsenal, don't blow it.