I parked the car outside my house at 3pm. Before I'd reached the front door my little radio told me we were 1-0 up already. Went downstairs and put the kettle on, 2-0. Got onto Twitter and asked for a good stream, 3-0. Found a stream, 4-0. It was perfect, total football. We were playing highlights. The passing was crisp. The finishing was clinical. How many will we get? 6 would be nice. That doesn't happen too often. It could be 7 or 8. I hope we don't ease up. Let's go for it. No mercy.
How in the name of Eddie McGoldrick did that happen? At half time I tweeted that there will be some bloggers moaning it should be 5-0! My God they were right! How in the name of Pal Lyderson did that happen? Throughout this season my belief in this team has been gently eroded. Arsene says it's the best bunch he's ever had. Did he not see the Invincibles? I hoped we had finally found some form. We were on a run. We had fought hard to get through 'tricky' cup games and overturned the injustice of the Saha goal against Everton. What really convinced me was the spirit shown against Everton and the way the team celebrated the win. Players punching the air and hugging at the final whistle. The Invincibles did this a lot. We all realised they were on to something special and they reacted to every win like us fans. I saw that again last week. The first half yesterday confirmed to me that this team had found their feet and were ready to chase Man U. So how in the name of Siggi Jonsson did that happen?
Diaby let us down badly. How does he feel this morning? He was playing well, the team were 4-0 up and he reacts like a mug to a very hard tackle and we let it slip to 4-4. He's not totally to blame but I bet he didn't sleep well. Everyone agrees that, given his injury history, his reaction was understandable. Fair enough but he needs to walk away, stay on the pitch and protect that fragile defence. If he is going to put us in the shit after every hard tackle then move him on. Never been a huge fan of Diaby and this hasn't helped.
Diaby's sending off was magnified as Djourou went off again injured and we had to rely on Koscielny and Squillaci who couldn't stop a pig in a passage. Now Kos has done really well this season. He came from a lower level and has stepped up admirably but he needs a proper defender next to him and the bargain bin Squillaci is not the man. As it stands these two are our only fit central defenders and all the defensive midfielders are injured too. Why oh bloody why didn't we strengthen last week? Why? What will Barcelona do to Koscielny and Squillaci? What will bloody Wolves do?
And so on to the ref. Since Sky exclusively broke the debate about whether female refs should be allowed anywhere near a game of football, I for one think only women should be in charge after seeing a succession of utterly hopeless men try to ref or run the line against us. Now I know we all blame the ref for everything and it's a tough job but Phil Dowd yesterday was an absolute disgrace. If we discovered in years to come that he had a grandparent from Newcastle would you be surprised? If we found out he receives a huge discount on Dunlop Green Flash from Sports Direct would we be surprised? The first penalty was soft. Danny Mills on radio 5 said that it wouldn't be given at 0-0! It was a sympathy penalty but was just about acceptable. The second one was a straight up bent decision. Had the ref picked up the ball, punched Szczesny in the face and dived into the net while screaming 'Touchdown!' it would've been less bent than awarding that penalty. Unless the ref is right and the rule is that it's a clear penalty if you jump for the ball and miss it. Just like the new rule about not being offside if you are offside.
The equaliser was inevitable. The worst collapse in Premiership history was complete.
Yet, having witnessed the worst defeat I can remember (spuds at home), various other crap defeats (WBA at home! WBA!!) and now the worst collapse in modern history we somehow only find ourselves 4 points behind the new Invincibles (Oh wait they lost to Wolves. I'd laugh if we weren't playing them next!) So after all that it was 1 point gained. 2 massive points lost but 1 tiny little point gained.
In any other business, Twitter is an odd place sometimes. A word of warning if you post messages about Man U losing an unbeaten run. You will get a lot of sad little messages from sad little mancs reminding you that they won the treble. Yes but as the song goes (made up by @eastlower on 26th May 1999. I was there!) 'You might've won the treble, but you're all still c*^ts!' Also, Twitter has the odd sad little Gooner who can only write Wenger Out. Be careful what you wish for. They never say who they want to take over. Ok, Arsene makes mistakes but he is totally responsible for the state of our club, the healthy finances, the massive stadium and the fact I don't have a cup final ticket due to the massive stadium. Before you abuse me for supporting the manager think about the alternative if your brains can think two thoughts at once or is 'Wenger Out' all you can muster.
Thank Jimmy Carter for a week off.